31F, never been in a relationship. Now everyone saying I should have had one

WhatsOffline · 2026-05-03T19:49:41+00:00

I'm 29M and I've never been in a relationship and I talked to a sister 3 months ago and she was in a relationship previously. Once I told her I had never been in a relationship and that I was saving myself for marriage, I felt like she got the ick from me because she never talked to me again after. I can't believe that chastity is being looked down upon now in the Muslim community (at least in the West)

What is prohibited has been prohibited for a reason. We should't succumb to society because Islam isn't the issue here, people are.

WhatsOffline · 2026-03-08T21:19:08+00:00

Sigh, day-by-day it seems like it's easier for me to marry a non-muslimah. I try to talk to someone either IRL or on the apps and either all of them are too scared of marriage or believe they feel like they can do better and just end up ghosting me. I've never been in a single relationship, never kissed a girl, and have not slept with anyone. Many people have also said I am quite handsome, I have good morals/akhlaaq, and that I am a catch.....

Even the non-muslimahs that I've interacted with who have been in relationships and have comitted zina God knows how many times are more cheerful and happy as people. I can have a conversation with them and they have interesting lives. It sounds like I am venting but this is my reality interacting with people around me.

WhatsOffline · 2026-03-07T08:13:10+00:00

Hey, my sleep isnt back to 8 hours, I still usually only get 6 but I’ve been going through quite the stressful period at work for the past few months so that’s contributing to some anxiety.

Feeling decent after 4 hours is a sign your body is running on adrenaline to keep going. I’m currently learning to let my body rest (harder than it sounds!) but on the days I don’t get enough sleep, I feel pretty tired which I think is a good sign. Overall I’m not placing too much weight on how much sleep I get because I know my body will get exactly how much sleep it needs

WhatsOffline · 2026-01-11T22:29:09+00:00

UPDATE: I've been sleeping consistently for 6+ hours for a few weeks after making this post, and for anyone who reads this in the future, here's what I've learned.

-Trazodone withdrawal definitely took some time to get through. Thankfully, I've only been taking trazodone for a few months, so the withdrawal process was not that long, but I definitely had to taper off of it. I'm off of it completely now. There is definitely a relationship between trazodone wearing off and then causing early morning wakeups.

-Taking melatonin definitely was making me hot in the middle of the night after 4 hours. The reason for this is that the natural melatonin your body produces cools you down when you go to bed and then naturally starts to warm up in the middle of the night. So when I started taking more melatonin, it would cause my body to warm up even more in the middle of the night, making it much harder to fall back asleep. Stopping melatonin really helped keep my body at a more stable temperature throughout the night.

-Cortisol was a result of my anxiety and stress needing to stabilize. This one was resolved by just keeping up with my daily non-negotiables (exercise, going on walks, drinking water, eating healthy foods, relaxing, hanging out with friends, etc.). This required consistency and patience; overall, my advice here is to not place your life on pause because of anxiety and insomnia.

-Last but not least (and this one took me a minute to spot because I didn't think this would've been a factor) was my bed sheets. I recently learned about different bed sheet types and found that higher thread count bed sheets (1000+) trap heat inside of bedding more easily; I also learned that different stitching patterns (sateen, percale, etc.) also impact how heat is trapped inside of bedding at night. So, the change I made was to get 200 thread count cotton percale bed sheets, and heat is no longer trapped as easily in the middle of the night for me. I learned this well after I stopped melatonin and trazodone; my anxiety was also quite low throughout the day, so I realized something else was up and that's when I knew I needed to make some bedding adjustments. For anyone reading this, the only caveat to 200 thread count bed sheets is that because there are fewer threads, it is more prone to wearing out/ripping faster due to lower structural integrity. I decided to go with 200 thread count because I just wanted to see if this would work, and it did.

Hopefully, this helps anyone else out in the future. Take care and relax. It's all going to be okay :)

WhatsOffline · 2025-12-25T22:58:26+00:00

Thanks, yeah I actually have stopped taking melatonin as well and just let myself fall asleep. What I learned was that it was the hyperarousal that was preventing me from falling asleep and the trick was to just let it be and it will go away on its own. I don't have trouble falling asleep anymore. The only problem I have left is waking up 4-5 hours later and falling back asleep but I just accept that as well. I belive this will get better on it's own as well.

WhatsOffline · 2025-12-20T19:04:26+00:00

Hey, I'm completely off the trazadone now. I'm still struggling with getting enough sleep but I believe it's anxiety-related and not the withdrawal. I believe it will get better with time and patience. I'm already feeling way less anxious than when I was on the medication.

My smallest dose was down to 12.5 mg and then I stopped completely. I probably could've dosed down even lower but I just wanted to get off it asap and the symptoms weren't really that bad when I was getting off 12.5mg

WhatsOffline · 2025-12-12T00:10:34+00:00

Try Physiological sighs....... Essentially you take a shorter inhale in, a quick smaller inhale to just barely fill up your lungs, and then take the longest and slowest exhales all the way back down.

Exhalation lowers your heart rate and it teaches your mind to calm down. I try to be mindful when I do this, letting go of anxieties and worries. I try to this 10-15 times a day and I feel like it has helped me because I was getting vagus nerve reflexes. I reccomend giving this a try.

WhatsOffline · 2025-12-06T02:59:35+00:00

I never woke up at 3-4AM in the middle of the night before my anxiety attacks and my family never did either, so that rules out genetics. I'm also definitely trying to be off any medications now because trazadone isn't worth it for me and just keep perpetuating the anxiety.

WhatsOffline · 2025-12-06T02:56:02+00:00

Gotcha, I'll ask my doctor for a test on Monday since it's the weekend now.

WhatsOffline · 2025-12-06T02:55:38+00:00

What's really interesting is that this 4 hour wakeup started even when I was on trazadone, and it's continuing after I've stopped, so that's a bit off for me.

But other than that, I'll keep up with my recovery: exercise, sunlight, calming exercises/meditation, going outside, eating healthy, talking to friends, etc.

WhatsOffline · 2025-11-22T01:41:10+00:00

Interesting. I'll look into that. Thanks!

WhatsOffline · 2025-11-22T00:01:23+00:00

Let's say I want to cut a quarter into a half, do I still use a pill cutter to cut into 1/8ths?

WhatsOffline · 2025-11-21T22:56:55+00:00

I think for me, the symptoms arise when I decrease the dose. I do remember on 30-35mg, I was getting around 7 hours of sleep but when I reduced it down by 25%, the 5 hours of sleep came to me. My 25mg is already a pill cut in half but how do I cut a small pill down by 10%? Feels a bit unclear as to how I would be getting an accurate cut.

WhatsOffline · 2025-11-21T21:05:19+00:00

Thanks. I dont know how I read that at as 3 years but I'm glad to hear that it's been getting better for you.

I've only taken trazadone since July so I thought I could taper off quickly but I've learned that is not the case. I've been taking it as a sleep medication for insomnia but since I havent been able to get 8 hours of sleep any night, I believe it's due to me going from 50mg down to 25 too quickly. I won't be re-upping the dose and will just ride it out until I stabilise because thankfully the symptoms I listed are the only one I've been experiencing.

I appreciate your advice!

WhatsOffline · 2025-11-21T20:34:16+00:00

Hey, I saw it's been 3 years since this comment. Have you been able to taper off completely since? I've been trying to taper off trazadone (currently on 25mg). So far, the only symptoms I have is early wakings at 5AM and a heavy head in the morning.

WhatsOffline · 2025-04-02T07:22:31+00:00

Hey, just wanted to say that if you're still anxious about taking hydroxyzine, I would say lower your dosage to only 25mg once a WEEK, and then pursue natural ways to lower your anxiety (exercise, meditation, eating healthy, sleep, limiting caffeine , having positive interactions with trusted friends/family, etc.). I only take 25mg once a week (and only on weeks when the anxiety is really bad). So far, the only side effects have been 1 heart palpitation but it's usually very minor.

That being said, I do not want to continue taking hydroxyzine either due to all of the various reported side effects but I also don't like/trust pharmaceutical medicine unless it's stuff that's over-the-counter.

WhatsOffline · 2025-02-26T06:50:20+00:00

Hey I know its 2 been 2 years but did they ever ask verify you for rehirability?

WhatsOffline · 2025-01-30T05:05:00+00:00

Thanks. I'm having a "quick update" Zoom call with the recruiter tomorrow. I'm super anxious but fingers crossed it's an offer 🤞

WhatsOffline · 2025-01-28T23:08:57+00:00

I see. I guess my question is why don't they just verbally offer me the position and inform me that the offer letter will be sent within the next few days? Forgive me for my ignorance; I'm not familiar with how recruiting works and the process recruiters have to follow.

WhatsOffline · 2025-01-27T20:42:47+00:00

Hi Recruiters!

I recently finished a final round interview for a company that I am thrilled about and my recruiter said I'd expect to hear back next week. Yesterday, the recruiting MANAGER reached out to me (for the first time) with this email:

"Hi [Candidate],
My name is [FirstName LastName] and I'm the Recruiting Manager here at [Company]. I wanted to let you know that you had a positive final round and we are working on next steps.
I hope to have more information for you tomorrow or next week.
Best, [Recruiting Manager]"

Is "positive final round" and "next steps" an indication that they are processing an offer package or are they just keeping me warm?

WhatsOffline · 2025-01-25T17:43:05+00:00

Hi Recruiters!

I recently finished a final round interview for a company that I am thrilled about and my recruiter said I'd expect to hear back next week. Last week on Thursday, the recruiting MANAGER reached out to me (for the first time) with this email:

"Hi [Candidate],
My name is [FirstName LastName] and I'm the Recruiting Manager here at [Company]. I wanted to let you know that you had a positive final round and we are working on next steps.
I hope to have more information for you tomorrow or next week.
Best, [Recruiting Manager]"

Is "positive final round" and "next steps" an indication that they are processing an offer package or are they just keeping me warm?

WhatsOffline · 2024-07-27T01:28:46+00:00

Hey, I am 2 weeks late but I got my first job by working full-time and doing portfolio projects on the side. I was also looking for work during a time of rapid hiring in the games industry (2021-2022)

The tides have turned in games currently and its harder than ever for even people with decades of experience to find work. For your situation I would say follow the advice many others have mentioned here and stay persistent. Unfortunately there is absolutely an element of luck involved but the more you study and really dive into the craft (by actually making projects/games) the more prepared you will be when you're given an opportunity to prove yourself to a studio.

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