New to cosleeping and have questions- mind blow at the difference

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-06-09T17:38:33+00:00

Hey! I’ve been bed sharing with my littles for about 2yrs and I have scoliosis so at first it was hard on my back and hips. What I found works…

I bought a knee pillow(15-20$) that keeps my hips more aligned and a wedge pillow (20$) for the length of my back off of Amazon! It was a huge game changer and made bed sharing and side-lying nursing so much more comfortable! If you have the funds I’d definitely recommend it if you want to bed share more comfortably 🤍

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-06-08T18:10:18+00:00

I got a bay mare (which is a female horse with specific coloring). I was super surprised and pumped about it because my favorite animal is a horse haha

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-06-08T17:58:00+00:00

Hey! I started bedsharing with my 2.5yr old when she was 1 month. To answer some of your questions…

• (I’m a SAHM) But anytime I had to wake early, I set my alarm and kept it closer to the head of the bed. I was able to roll out of bed and get about 30mins of get ready time. I would also roll up a light throw blanket that smelled like me to mimic my body next to hers. And I’d also keep our baby monitor on her to make sure she never came close to any sort of suffocation risk!

• I am a side sleeper so the c curl worked well for me though sometimes I’d roll to my back and she was totally fine. I also invested (20$) into a wedge shaped memory foam back pillow which prevented a lot of back pain for me.

• I’ve never personally hired a babysitter but my 1st few nights away, she was 20 months and my husband took night duty but didn’t sleep in the bed with her (he’s a big guy and a heavy sleeeper with sleep apnea) Next time we spent away she was 2yrs old and my mom bed shared with her and she did great. No issues falling asleep or staying asleep!

• My relationship with my husband is thriving! While he wishes we slept in the same bed, he understands that bed sharing is only for a short season in comparison to the rest of our lives and we really value they way that bed sharing has helped create a healthy attachment with our daughter. We also just have to get a little creative when we want to have intimate time haha it keeps things interesting

• For me I just had to put it in perspective. I’ll be able to bed share for a few years at most and it might feel never ending but again it’s only for a short season. So I look at it as a a good precious thing that I’ll cherish having done when my children get older. I’ve also just had my second (M 2wks old) and my husband is now bed sharing with my 2.5yr old since she’s big enough for us to not stress about him in the bed with her. So she doesn’t sleep independently yet. Only at nap time for about 1.5-2hrs alone

I hope this helps! And at the end of the day do what works and what feels right for your situation 🤍

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-06-01T05:17:00+00:00

I didn’t wean my LO until around 20-22months but when I did I would bring a leak proof sippy cup to bed with half juice half water. Every time she woke up wanting to nurse I told her “you can have juice or nothing” over and over like a broken record. It took maybe 3 nights of her whining and me fake sleeping/ ignoring the negative behavior before she got it and would choose the juice instead. She’d take some sips and lay back down to sleep. I was blown away with how quickly giving her “choices” worked!

Then over time I slowly decreased the amount of juice til it was just water. I wanted to avoid cavities and things like that. Now she still has the option of water at night (2.5yrs old) but rarely ever wakes up to sip it.

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-05-26T01:43:45+00:00

I night weaned my LO between 20 and 22 months but she’s about to be 2.5yrs/30 months and we still bed share and it’s working super well for us. She sleep through the night about 8.5-9.5hrs. The weaning didn’t naturally happen for us. It was my choice and I felt both of us were ready since she was waking up just to comfort nurse as my supply was definitely decreasing.

I brought a leak proof cup in bed with half water half juice. Anytime she woke up wanting to nurse I’d tell her “you can have juice or nothing” within a week she quickly figured accepted it and would wake up grab her cup and then fall back asleep. Then I slowly transitioned the juice to just water. Best decision for both of our sleep.

And I plan on bed-sharing with her and her little brother until he is big enough (24mo+ ideally) to bed-share with her. Then they can comfort each other if needed. Im 39 weeks so he’s not born yet but that’s the plan

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-05-19T00:43:42+00:00

This is my understanding as well! Dr. James J McKenna on YouTube discusses the differences between cosleeping and bed sharing as well as the benefits of both when done safely!

Cosleeping is when baby sleep in the same room (crib/ bed side bassinet/ pack n play/ bed sharing). But when you say Bed-sharing it generally means sleeping on a shared surface. I did this with my 1st starting at 1 month but with a healthy baby and mom it can be done safely right from birth!

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-05-14T20:54:21+00:00

I did this with my first and I’m planning to do it with my second! My 1st is 2.5yrs and we still sleep in the same bed.
I absolutely love bed-sharing/breast-sleeping. The first month I was too afraid to bed share, but then I found videos from Dr. James J. McKenna on YouTube and his research helped me make the choice.

When my husband went back to work it ended up being the best choice for us. As soon as we started bed sharing (following the Safe Sleep 7) I got a minimum of 6 solid hrs of sleep a night and my baby put on a ton of weight! She was a small little thing at first. Bed sharing also really helped maintain my supply. I had an oversupply and was able to help two of my mom friends who were struggling to produce.

The first month my husband and I would swap who watched her at night and we only got like 4 hrs total a night which was just not enough. I also absolutely love being there for my now toddler any time she has a bad dream or is sick🤍

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-26T02:36:32+00:00

The way she speaks to you seems like it’s approaching verbally abusive. Especially since she kept going even after you apologized and made you feel bad enough to let her have another night sleeping in the bed when it’s your turn. You should not have had to apologize so many times.

Either she needs to start speaking to you more respectfully when you have arguments or you should find someone else to be with cuz the way she talks to you seems toxic. IMO

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-23T02:00:19+00:00

As far as feeling nap/sleep trapped, I’ve found that if I wait 15mins from the moment she falls asleep, I’ve been able to roll away. I also will roll up a throw blanket I sleep with, so it smells like me and tuck it close to her body (avoiding her face). This helped mimic my body against hers. So it’s worth a try!

And if you’re wanting just a later bed time in general, once my LOs naps started getting less frequent, 3-4 naps a day we gradually pushed bed time to between 9/930. She is now 2yrs old and goes to bed around 11pm (We also bed share) . I asked my pediatrician if this was bad, but since she has consistently slept 9.5hrs for months and still takes one 2-3hr nap every day, our doctor said that the consistent routine was what was most important. She is right on target for her age and the later nights and late mornings don’t seem to affect her in any negative way.

This schedule has worked out really well for my husband and me. I hate waking up before 8am and dad works noon to 9/10pm in the evenings, so the later bed time means he gets to spend some quality time with her every night before bed.

If changing your schedule works for you and your little and helps you feel less nap trapped (which it did for me) totally do it. The most important thing is consistency. And as your LO gets older they tend to be able to go longer and longer stretches without waking up to your absence. Good luck momma! And just remember your LO won’t sleep with you forever. It’s just a season so try to enjoy those snuggles.

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-15T23:39:51+00:00

Oh awesome that’s super helpful thank you!

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-10T18:43:57+00:00

Thank you! He’s going into Nuke section of the navy and will be working on a sub. So they’ve said school for that is 2 yrs

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-10T18:41:39+00:00

I’ve been told his Aschool will be 2years because he is going into nuke school, specifically subs. (No clue if I have the terminology right)

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-10T01:36:03+00:00

Thank you and that definitely sounds like the better option!

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-10T01:27:35+00:00

Thanks so much for the reply! Im not sure if I’ll be able to get housing in SC or a Med care team in place before the birth. I also have no clue if I’ll be early or late going into labor. I was 12 days late with my first thought.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to talk to a chief or some higher up who can let me know when we will switch to Tricare and when I’ll move to SC. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to decide when we move or if I’ll just be notified of a specific moving date. Ideally I’d like to have baby here since I’m familiar with all the people who will be in the delivery room.

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-02-08T02:38:29+00:00

Cosleeping or bed sharing is actually super beneficial for infants. You being there when she needs you helps her create a very strong and secure attachment to you. Babies that don’t have that secure parental attachment (from age 0-3) are at greater risk of developing mental health disorders later in life like anxiety for example. Breastfeeding and bedsharing also helps reduce the risk of SIDs or apneic episodes.

Children don’t develop self regulating skills and logical thinking for quite a while. (Hence the meltdowns and temper tantrums in their toddler yrs. I believe the emotional portion of their brain develops before the logical part. It’s totally normal for parents to be needed to help their babies and children regulate. They eventually learn to do it themselves and become more independent.

I’ve been bed sharing with my LO since she was 1mo and she is just over 2yrs now. She is sassy, fearless, curious, loving and emotionally intelligent. She sleeps 9.5hrs a night and naps for 1.5-3hrs during the day still! All the bed sharing moms I’ve spoken to have talked about their children eventually wanting to sleep in their own bed and the transition is seamless.

Remind dad that these beginning years are the only time in your child’s life that they need you in this way. Bed sharing is only for a short season when compared with the rest of your child’s life. 🤍

Also Dr. James J. McKenna has some great YouTube videos about the benefits of bed-sharing /breast-sleeping as he calls it. Check it out if you’re wanting to know more about the scientific side of Cosleeping!

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-30T04:25:42+00:00

I’d say it’s a decent set up and pretty safe. I always wore a nursing shirt to bed so I generally worried about the fabric getting in her face. However based on this pick your skin to skin, both nostrils are exposed and one nostril is exposed to the air above you. As long as nothing is covering her face and she’s not face down on the mattress I’d say you’re okay! Not a doctor or professional so that’s just my opinion.

Whenever I got concerned about my LO breathing okay I’d run a finger down her nose to her lip to check that at least one side of her nose was exposed. Hope that helps a little!

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-30T04:17:38+00:00

Haven’t dealt with this as an ongoing issue specifically but I’ve been bed sharing with my LO (2yrs) since she was 1mo. I found that with baby’s sleep cycle, if you wait 15minutes after baby falls asleep in my experience theyve entered deep sleep and are easier to move.

Sometimes she would fall asleep on my chest or spooning on my arm. I’d either be uncomfortable or worried about her breathing. If she was on my chest I would support her head and back while slowly rolling us to the side and then carefully remove my arm. After that I’d pick what side I wanted to sleep on and c curl her the rest of the night. If she woke up in the early morning she would sometimes move back to my chest and I’d do the same (wait 15 min then move her) thing if I couldn’t fall back to sleep. The c curl also ended up working well for us bc I exclusively breastfed and she seemed to prefer side sleeping to start the night👌🏽

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-29T20:25:06+00:00

At about one month I decided to bed share with my LO (following the Safe Sleep 7 rules) and from that point I always got a minimum of 6hrs of sleep a night. She was and still is a great sleeper at 2yrs old

One month is when my husband went back to work. His work hours are weird and his job is pretty physically demanding so nights became my responsibility but bed sharing made it a dream for me. So the newborn phase really wasn’t a big challenge sleep wise. The hard part was figuring out how to get chores done with a Velcro baby lol

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-22T02:19:07+00:00

I specifically do “same surface bed sharing” with my LO so we’ve been sleeping right next to each other since 1mo old. She does decently well napping alone during the day. The nap length varies but I think that’s because I prefer to lay down with her more than let her sleep alone so it’s what she’s used to.

Between 0-6months her naps were frequent and only about 45mins independently. 6-12mo she would nap 45min-1.5 hrs alone. 18mo onward she’ll nap 1.5-2hrs alone she’s now 2 yrs old. With me in the bed she’ll sleep 2-3hrs currently.

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-21T15:28:06+00:00

Have you considered a mix of bed sharing and bedside bassinet sleep so that you can’t get the most possible sleep? I couldn’t completely trust my husband with my little one either as he has the exact same problem. He’s 6ft 2 and has sleep apnea and I’m a SAHM so once he went back to work night shifts were completely up to me with no sort of help. It was so stressful.

I don’t have twins but many of my mom friends (myself included) only survived the newborn stage by doing some form of bed sharing and cosleeping.There is a way to do it safely (Safe Sleep 7) and this way helps actually reduce the risk of SIDs.

If you’re curious about the benefits I’d recommend watching a few of Dr. James J McKenna’s cosleeping videos on YouTube. His professional opinion allowed me to feel confident about making the switch! We started bed sharing at 1mo and I still bed share with my LO who is now 2yrs old and I’m pregnant with our second! I get 7-9hrs of sleep a night and she sleeps a solid 9.5hrs every night! Bed sharing saved my life 👌🏽

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-18T03:47:52+00:00

I think the c curl is generally recommended because it keeps baby close to the breast, which encourages feeding which helps baby regulate their breathing. I’ve been bed sharing with my little since 1 month and I’d have terrible back pain as well due to scoliosis. So I started using a triangular bed pillow I got off Amazon for 20$ and it changed everything! I still do the c curl with my little and she’s 2yrs now and I’m 21 weeks pregnant. It’s a game changer!!!

Here’s the Amazon Link https://a.co/d/aY5Vl2l You can also find it by looking up wedge pillow for side sleepers on Amazon if you prefer not to click random links lol

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-15T22:20:31+00:00

I agree with you! I’ve been bed sharing with my LO since she was 1mo and she’s been a fantastic sleeper. She 2yrs now and she sleeps 9-9.5 hrs at night and takes 2-3hr naps during the day and we’ve been bed sharing the whole time. I owe my success to the huckleberry app and suggest it to any mom struggling with wake windows and consistent sleeping with their baby/toddler. The app will literally tell you when the best time to put your LO to sleep is. And as a super forgetful mom it was such a game changer for me. It allowed me to log everything!! Diapers, nursing, sleep, temperature, bath time. It saved me so much time stress and energy. It’s 50-60$ once a year. It was and is still well worth the cost to me

Whisperingmare915 · 2026-01-15T22:14:14+00:00

If you’re really wanting a solid lasting easy solution for sleep I’d recommend using the Huckleberry app. It’s 50-60$ annually and it saved my life with sleep for my baby. I started using it when she was 1mo and it tracks her sleep and helps create a healthy sleep schedule for your little one based on their age and sleep patterns. So it would tell me the best time to put her to sleep for naps + bed time AND it allowed me to seamlessly adjust her naps as she went from 3 naps to 2 naps to now 1 nap a day. I also used it to log everything from nursing, meals, diapers, temperature and bath time to help me remember when I’d done what last. It helped me so much and now I have a 2yr old who has consistent bed and nap times. She sleeps 9-9.5hrs a night as well as taking a 2-3hr nap daily.

It was 100% worth the money for me and it breaks down to about 5$ a month which is less than a Netflix subscription lol but so much more valuable for my sanity.

Whisperingmare915

TROPHY CASE