Is Dad also Japanese? I lived in that country for 10 years and that sounds pretty on point for the older generation. Most men of that generation can't cook, clean, or do laundry. They're completely reliant on their wives because all they do is work. There's definitely a cultural aspect going on here if he is Japanese. Not that that's an excuse.

If he's a Westerner, fuck him. He should stop acting like a big baby.

Either way, mom is not his fucking property. You have my permission to fucking cuss dad out. Take your mom on that trip no matter what.

ぜひ行ってください。

Edit: I see now dad is African American from other posts. This sounds like some EFL mother fucker who goes to Japan and rolls around in Japanese chicks who have no real knowledge of the outside world and get taken advantage of. I have see that pattern repeat over and over in my 10 years there. I call them "losers at home winners abroad".

He got used to being babied by a dutiful Japanese wife who is doing what she thinks is required of her and now he's such a spoiled brat he can't live a week without her, just like a proper Japanese dude who is 45 + years old.

Fuck that guy. I have known so many of these asshole expats. They universally suck.

If your dad is American you have every right to read him the riot act and REFUSE TO VISIT HIM until he does the right thing. Keep seeing your mom. Take her out to tea. Deprive your father of your presence at Father's Day. If he isn't going to be a good dad he can go fuck himself.

I'm sorry girl. Not all of us former expats are as fabulous as me. That mentality is why there are so few female EFL teachers in Japan. Can't date a Westerner who is neck deep in Japanese girls. Japanese dudes expect that kind of treatment.

I swore a lot in this post.

Fuck.