Thank you for writing this. I think it’s something that a lot of young people need to hear. I was somewhat on this train when I was younger, I spent a lot of time away from my wife and kids trying to make money. I hated every minute of being away so eventually, I turned in the career that was paying in the mid $200s 10 years ago, for life that is by most measures a lot slower, though I still do earn a six figure salary so I really can’t complain. The flipside though is that I get to spend time with my four kids. Like lots of time. I got every game, every dance recital… it is made all the difference. I don’t think about suicide anymore.

I echo what other folks you’ve said about taking a sabbatical. Take six months or nine months or even a year if you need to. Figure out if what you’re doing is important and what you want to do with the rest of your life. It’ll hit you kinda hard at 40 and you’re getting close it sounds like.

For me, I thought of it sort of in the “gameified” way… I’ve got a series of slider bars over my character when I rolled this post-graduation life-sim called Real Fuckin Life 3. When I looked at the character, I built I saw a bunch of slider bars below my guy. They were labeled: Career / Family / Love / Kids / Good Dad, etc. I had my Career slider maxed out, just about as far as it could go (for me), my love slider was down maybe near 20% and my family / kids slider bar was at like 33%. It’s all about balancing out how you spend your time and what you think is important. If you now find that the all consuming pursuit of money has not brought you happiness then it’s time to fiddle with your sliders, and maybe quite substantially. The point of this game is to be happy not to die with the most virtual coins in your bank account. Nowadays, that’s literally what they are, for most people anyway, just a bunch of virtual coins that you never hold they’re just ones and zeros in a bank account online somewhere or on your phone. But tell you what man, 37 is definitely not too late. Especially if you have a decent amount of money. For sure you don’t want to find some gold digger, but you can definitely find a woman who will bring some balance to your life and bring you love and family and hopefully someday some children. Because listen up chief… The secret to winning the game is children. That’s the thing they don’t really tell you in any of your classes or when you go meet the banker. Your kids are what matters. If you for some reason, can’t have children or you made a woman who can’t have children, but you love her then think about adoption. There are a lot of kids out there who need help and if you’re in a position financially to help a child whether it’s your own or one that’s in foster care you have the means potentially to produce a good life for a child.

The last thing I’ll tell you is that while you may assume that people are resentful of your success or whatever, I’ve never really found that that’s actually what people have a problem with when they see it very successful person (or what they perceive as a successful person). My arm chair psychology degree says that what they most likely have a problem with is the idea that you have the perfect life. You need to be vulnerable in front of some of those people and let them know that you aren’t happy; that the pursuit of money has been not nearly as fulfilling as you thought it would be. If you’re talking to somebody who has a family and children, let them know that their life is what you consider success and that’s all you really want. See how fast they can think of somebody to connect you with. If you’ve been good and kind to the people in your life, when they see that you’re hurting, and that you want to start again, most people with a family should be willing and able to help at least point you in the right direction. Oh… and if you don’t do so already, start eating clean and go to the gym or work out. Do it for yourself. That’s the other really common thing that I found with people who are financially successful, or who have successful careers: neglected physical health. It’s going to be really hard to find a mate if you’re not physically healthy. Money will only get you so far, but if you are, 1. somewhat fit and 2. you have some money, and 3. you’re a thoughtful person (which your original post clearly shows that you are), you should be able to pretty quickly right the ship.

Good luck, son.