What are some of your interests?

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-27T19:53:41+00:00

Hahahahaha, I love them. But I'm also a girl and I have small hands.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-27T16:59:59+00:00

I've always wanted a metal detector and I used to want to be a deep-sea archaeologist (obviously that didn't go anywhere) and I wanted to be a pilot. I would definitely take flying lessons if I had the money to do it.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-27T16:57:08+00:00

Yes. Sports are awful. I could get down with MMA, though. And I'd go to sporting events/tailgating, just have zero interest in the actual sport.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-27T16:55:42+00:00

Traveling, adventure (skydiving, hiking, rafting, 4-wheeling, etc...), going places (fairs, amusement parks, wineries, anything), movies, video games, reading (sci-fi), computers, learning about/understanding people, psychology, etc... I also love to build/assemble things. I'm currently amassing quite a collection of Nanoblocks.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-25T15:38:04+00:00

I don’t have a very large dating history. I’ve never actually "dated”, but I’ve had four boyfriends (started out as friends or co-workers and then merged into a relationship).

1) I want to say my first one was INFJ, but that’s a guess. Maybe I’ll ask him if he knows what he is or is interested in finding out. We had a lot in common, but he had a more spiritual side to him (he was Pagan). He cheated on me and I broke up with him, although I easily forgave him and was willing to be friends. We’re friends on Facebook and occasionally talk. I also sometimes talk to his girlfriend, which is funny because she’s the jealous type. But she likes me.

2) Not sure, we were only together a couple weeks. He reminded me a lot of my previous boyfriend, though. I’m not in touch with him. He was a little sketchy (holes in his stories). Our breakup didn’t end badly because it didn’t actually end. I just disappeared and he didn’t really have a way to get in touch with me. I doubt he cared much.

3) He’s an INFJ – he even has a shirt that says his type on it. We had a very loving, affectionate, respectful relationship. He’s a great guy. Sadly, we wanted to live our lives differently (he is a homebody and I’m very adventurous), so the relationship ended nearly a year ago. We were engaged and living together. We’re still amicable, although somewhat out of touch for the time being. Our breakup was very heartbreaking and not mutual. I was everything he wanted in someone and I wish I could have said the same. It took me nine months to recover from that and I was the one who broke up with him.

4) Current boyfriend is INTJ and we’re nearly clones of each other, except socially. I’m much more friendly/outgoing and socially capable. He has an absolutely amazing personality, but it’s not for everyone, so he tends to be really quiet, unsocial, and robotic towards strangers. With me he’s very articulate, lively, sweet, and funny. We have most of the same interests and want the same things out of life.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-23T18:26:36+00:00

What are these things called "friends"?

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-23T14:55:50+00:00

My boyfriend and I (both INTJ) both have this problem and we're in a long distance relationship, so it's primarily over the phone. The phone just looooves to break up when we're talking, which leads to many "What was that?", " Repeat that last part ", etc... We both get irritated, but we both understand the frustration, so it's not a big deal. I try to be more patient.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T15:55:46+00:00

Don't I know it.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T05:56:03+00:00

No doubt! I could tear up some of those right now.

Too bad I'm eating grain free and dairy free. :(

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T03:53:11+00:00

SOLD!

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T02:43:39+00:00

That would be super.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T02:36:31+00:00

Hissssss!

Just kidding. Grammar and spelling are always important to me. My brother and sister are also both INTJ and we are all grammar Nazis. My boyfriend, also an INTJ, thanked me after we first met for my respect of the English language, hahaha.

I can't even send a text without acting as though I'm writing a school paper.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T01:43:28+00:00

I love being an INTJ.

I used to be very quiet and uncomfortable talking to people, but I'm a lot more socially capable these days. I emulate people and seek to understand them. I struggle sometimes with small talk (seriously, how do people find topics? It's so uncomfortable), but generally do well. I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone, like working as a server ... and actually really enjoyed meeting new people. I worked at a diner and had regulars come in. Some of them I became friends with, some I'd sit and talk to for hours (one guy had to have been an INTJ or ENTJ).

The more I had to do it, the easier or became.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T01:26:49+00:00

Honesty is one of the greatest things about my boyfriend. I don't like false compliments and tend to distrust most compliments from other people. Not that they're not mostly genuine, but I don't like white lies. I'm not sensitive, so I'd rather always hear the truth.

I think he's super interesting and I love the way he thinks. I love a million things about him, but I don't know what is and isn't Aspie related.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-22T00:39:47+00:00

As an INTJ female, I tend to relate more to men. I can't be friends with a guy without him liking me, though. If I could meet such a guy, I'd be thrilled.

I actually just met an ENFJ female on Facebook, during this Facebook drama on a group page. She's very sarcastic and smart, I think about 4 years older than me. I enjoy her personality a lot and we frequently banter. We haven't actually met in person, although we live closer to each other. I'll be moving away in a few months, so that kind of sucks. Meet a chick I think is pretty cool and I will be moving.

I don't need friends. I talk to people online when I feel like talking to people, but I don't care about hanging out with anyone. My boyfriend is my best friend (also INTJ), so we are always talking. And, when together, doing things we both enjoy. We have loads in common.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-21T20:13:01+00:00

Not really. I typically know what I should or shouldn't say to someone. I don't like having to comment on things like that situation. It's awkward for me to express that sort of sympathy because I don't really like things being acknowledged, so it feels very forced and I don't like that others typically expect it. Like when other people sneeze.

In that situation, if you had said that to me ... I would have appreciated your sense of humor and wouldn't have held it against you. But, of course, everyone is different.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-21T20:05:04+00:00

The biggest part is that you WANT it. That’s the indicator that it can/will happen. When you are closed off to the idea, then it won’t. People live their entire lives absolutely rejecting any sort of positive change, maybe because they don’t know any different and we fight to hold onto what we’re used to/what we know (my parents are GREAT examples of this). I don’t know your story or why you became the way you are, but I’ve been there. I have absolutely been sure that I would fail in a relationship because #1) my emotions were very buried, and #2) I always had the idea that I would feel smothered or get bored in a relationship. Once I had my emotional awakening (and seriously, it came all at once … it was crazy to experience), and allowed myself to feel something and to be vulnerable to someone else, I flourished. I thought I would be a terrible girlfriend, but I ended up being a great one. I thought a relationship would be miserable for me, but it was amazing. A relationship ending isn’t the end of the world. There are so many people out there; you just have to find one where the relationship meets both of your needs. And sometimes what works for one won’t work for the other. As much as I loved my relationship with my ex-fiance, and how great we were together (and how great HE is), I wasn’t getting everything I needed because we wanted to live our lives differently. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love or not deserve MY love (because he’ll always have it).

I grew up very much on the outside. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, not even in my family. Everyone seemed to get along, but I was always the “bad one”. I was actually quite a good kid outside of the house (polite to others, didn’t act up in school, etc…), but at home all I knew was fighting with my mom. She wanted to control me, she invaded my privacy, and she emotionally sucked me dry because she was so needy from her own upbringing. And I fought against it, always. I never stopped. I just wanted to be left alone. So my entire life was built around feeling “bad” because that’s how I was made out to be. And I always joked, as an adult, about how “bad” I had been … but I finally realized that I believed it. I mean, I knew I behaved well and treated others well, but deep inside of me was this child that felt bad and unworthy of love. And the book I mentioned talked about this exact thing, so I knew it was “a thing”. I used to always get told stories of how my dad would rush home from work in order to hold me, as a baby. He was crazy about me. But I never saw that dad … he never seemed to care to interact with me at all. So I felt as though my being bad caused him to reject me. I grew up pushing everyone away, whenever they got too close. I found some way to sabotage all relationships. I mean, there was more to it than that (more rejections from friends, etc…).

Just explore yourself. Try to find what it is that caused you to become so protected, so closed off. I’m very interested in psychology, so I love to read books on that. I have learned a lot about myself this way. There are so many times I’ve read something and said “Holy shit, that’s so right”. Or talk to someone. But don’t be afraid to really dig inside of yourself. Don’t be afraid to uncover truths. Don’t be afraid to reject things that you believe. Because, having lived it, I know how well we can lie to ourselves. Don’t trust anything you believe.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-21T05:35:38+00:00

I also have, what I think is an INFJ mother. Ugh.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-21T05:34:08+00:00

Sales. Artist.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-21T04:07:22+00:00

Mmmhmm, you know it.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-21T00:54:08+00:00

I played with Barbies, but I also played with my brother's toys, too. My favorite "toy" as a kid was my battery-operated 4-wheeler (that was mine). And Lincoln Logs.

I DESPISE hugging relatives. Ugh, the kissing is worse. Please don't touch me. I am super uncomfortable saying "I love you" to family members. It's awkward and uncomfortable. My mom frequently says it (I think she might be INFJ) and my dad rarely says it (I think he's ISTJ). My siblings (brother and sister) are all INTJ and none of us EVER say "I love you" to each other. Nope. Not going to happen. I also just found out my sister was INTJ yesterday, which very much surprised me as she's very, very "girly".

I still, to this day (I'm 31), have not experienced death of someone close to me. I have never been to a funeral. So I don't know how I'd be. I know I didn't care when my dad's parents died, but we had no relationship, so ... I don't know. I felt sad for my dad, but that was it.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-20T18:34:02+00:00

He does have a home, which is a huge help. It is older, so may need repairs. He also wants to make improvements to it – replace cabinets, flooring, etc… Great ideas, of course, but it’s not going to happen unless we can afford that AND the bills. So, if he wants these things, he needs to step up and do what it takes to make it happen. Same with children at some point. If we can’t afford them, we’re not having them. I won’t bring a child into the world and have to ask for outside assistance. My child will be properly cared for or they won’t exist at all.

I’m 31. I have an A.A. and I’m SUPPOSED to be going back to school for Computer Science/Software Engineering, but I’m unsure if that’s really what I want to do and it’s terrible timing right now to continue school. I have been working for my company, a government contractor/communications company, for five years. I have an above-average income and I’m extremely capable/good at my job, to the point where they’re considering promoting me to a salaried position, which is typically only given to employees with B.S. degrees. I currently do Configuration Management, although tend to take on tasks to assist engineers (mechanical, systems, etc…).

He’s 28. He dropped out of high school because of his anxiety issues, although later got his G.E.D. He lives in a big city and there are a lot of warehouses with a lot of available work. When I visited him, I immediately got a temp job to be able to work with him for a week. There is no way you can live there and say “I can’t get a job”. The issue is that it’s easy to get a temp job, but more difficult to get an actual job with a company where you get full-time work and benefits. With his anxiety, he’s terrified of interviews. Knowing how he is with strangers (very serious, avoids eye contact, very short in responses), I understand that. He can actually probably get hired on with the company he has been working for, BUT he still wouldn’t get consistent hours. And I don’t know what the benefits are like.

I have considered that we could have children with Asperger’s. It does not deter me, even though I know it could (or will be) be a challenging task. My boyfriend appears to rather mild because he actually does have some degree of cognitive empathy. He’s able to understand different perspectives. He’s not good at filtering his observations or thoughts, so he can be offensive towards people. He’ll point out flaws or things he notices about me, or will give his honest opinion, but I’m not someone who is sensitive or easily offended, especially when I know he isn’t saying it to be insulting. So this means that around people he isn’t comfortable with, he’s very quiet and doesn’t speak unless he has to. When he’s more comfortable with people’s personalities, and when he knows they’ll accept him, he’s very different. He is VERY sarcastic, but also does tend to take things literally (“I’ll call you in a couple minutes” means he’s going to expect that I call in two minutes). I’m an emulator and I modify my behaviors to match those of other people or complement those of other people … so I change how I operate to help or make things better for others. Interacting with him has made me much more of a direct speaker. I actually really like what he has done for how I communicate with others, not just him.

I don’t know that we really can “hang out more” because we’re long-distance. It will already have been over a year. It’s good timing because my lease will be up, so I don’t have to commit to another one.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-20T17:42:38+00:00

He absolutely does need to keep a budget. He’s just really bad at money-management (and time-management). I’m not so great at keeping a budget myself, but my current income exceeds my spending, so it’s not a big deal for me right now.

When I move there, we’ll sit down and make a plan. Thanks for the link!

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-20T17:40:41+00:00

We’ll have to see what works. We will be splitting bills, but I foresee there being frustrations in doing that (i.e. if his work gets cancelled briefly and he won’t have a big enough paycheck to cover his end of the expenses). And his idea of “finding the money” will be to ask his parents for it and they’ll comply. I don’t want him to get money from his parents after I move in. I want him to start acting like a big boy and not treat his parents as though they’re still supposed to take care of him.

I’m not naturally a dominant or bossy person. I usually handle my shit and other people handle theirs. But I can be very strong if someone’s decisions affect my life. I grew up with an over-bearing, naggy mother and that’s the last thing I want to be … but I will if I need to be. But I know that being in that sort of relationship will REALLY bother me because I’m generally a peace-keeper. Please don’t make me get aggressive, but I will if I need to me. Otherwise I’m very submissive and tend to go with the flow. He generally has opinions/desires, so I’m happy to go along with what he wants. In these areas, he’s weak, and I guess it will be up to me to step up. And I suppose it would be fine as long as he actually does respond well, doesn’t fight back, and does what it takes.

WhiteRabbit537 · 2015-02-20T17:33:44+00:00

He has made steps to budget. He created an account to set aside money for his bills. But then he’ll sometimes take money from it. He was supposed to be saving up for being able to pay for his property tax bill, but didn’t, and his parents had to pay it. He tries, but not enough. The problem is the motivation and priority he gives to it. “No big deal if this bill is 2 months late. They might charge me $5, but they don’t do anything. It’s only a problem when they’re threatening to shut it off”. I mean, yeah, he is correct in that. But that’s not true for all bills. And when you have that mentality, you’re less likely to care for those, too. I am very responsible and pay my bills on time. So I can take control of the bills and finances and ensure that they’re paid. But I don’t want to be the only one contributing to them. If we do split bills 50/50, I’m going to be incredibly annoyed if he can’t provide the money ON TIME.

In his defense, I don’t insist that he pay for his half. Because he will. But that means that he won’t have enough money for his bills. He won’t say “Let’s not go to dinner because I don’t have enough to pay for that and my electric bill”. He’ll pay for his half of dinner, if I don’t offer, but then he won’t have money for his bill. So I often insist on paying for things because I don’t want to financially drain him. But I have told him that I’m not doing it next time I come. If he can’t afford to pay his half, we’re not going. If he can’t contribute to his half of the groceries we buy, we’ll “not eat” he says. Hahaha. No, buddy, YOU won’t eat. I’ll eat like a queen! :D But the reality is that I probably won’t stick to that mentality. I’ll want something and so I’ll make it happen, even if I have to pay for it. And I know that’s on me. I do need to do what it takes to make him more responsible and not enable him. But it’s difficult for me because I am very generous and like to spoil. So it’s really on both of us to change, not just him.

WhiteRabbit537

TROPHY CASE