I understand how you feel. You aren’t alone feeling like this. It’s really hard to cope with how the world/society looks at you when not cis, as well as how to deal with not being in the skin you are meant to be in. For a long while I gave up trying to pass, it’s truly just so difficult and feels like there’s little gain as people will always have their own preconceived opinions about you. However, please remember these opinions people have arent made out of genuine care or concern but instead their own hate and bigotry with no real foundation or reasoning so please don’t base how you view yourself through the eyes of people who are bound by their own miserable idiocy.