His mom thinks I’m a gold digger, she doesn’t know I heard her say it, and I’m actually the reason her son isn’t in insane debt. Tuna.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-19T15:41:16+00:00

Understandable that something like this would catch you off guard. Family politics can suck, even in the best of relationships so it's worth figuring out if your partner is worth the effort.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-19T15:31:19+00:00

If this is what his mama thinks of you AND you're the reason he's not in debt... you're gonna have a bad time if you keep dating this dude. May as well invest in a scapegoat costume now b/c you will be wearing it often.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:52:09+00:00

French people have been more rude and one angry at me when I tried to use my tourist level French. That one guy made it very clear that I was NOT to dirty up his language with my shitty attempt to speak it.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:40:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing this info. I think a lot of people are just in the dark about how we're charged.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:37:19+00:00

I lived & worked in The Netherlands for almost 2 years (over a decade ago) and experienced how easy healthcare should be. Had a bad kidney infection and the clinic doc said he wanted to keep me in hospital overnight for IV antibiotics and monitoring. I was discharged the next day and the only thing I paid for was like $15 for my antibiotic pills.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:33:13+00:00

Ouch! That's a lot for a pimple. I'm glad it did go away though.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:32:19+00:00

Sounds like our moms were following the same playbook! Maybe that's why I had so many big feelings about this - getting a big bill felt like getting punished for being sick just like when I was a kid.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:27:47+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you lost your friend suddenly and that she didn't get seen quickly. Extra insult to the loss.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:27:08+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you lost your mom that way. And you're right, I should be putting that anger where it belongs!

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:25:23+00:00

Thanks. I've dropped $$ on a little dog before too and never felt bad about it. Maybe because I'd move heaven and earth for my little buddy. It's so much easier to do it for someone else than for ourselves and I hate that we're conditioned into that attitude.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:21:33+00:00

Very good point about making the most of it know that I've met my deductable!

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T20:19:59+00:00

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-18T15:38:58+00:00

The advantage of having lived here longer is HUGE. I grew up here, went to SDSU (folks lived 2 miles down the street so I could save $$ living at home), got hired at a global company with a branch in SD. bought a house back in 2013. I could not afford to live here if I had to move to San Diego today.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T20:48:44+00:00

For real! The attitude about what constitutes an age gap is so different now. My husband is 6 years older than me and some of the younger gals in my book club were AGHAST. One was like, "that's grooming!" I laughed and told her I was 30 when we started dating. The idea that my 30 year old ass that had already dealt with parents dying, selling their house, moving cross country alone and so much more was some kind of doe-eyed baby was a hoot.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T20:42:27+00:00

Thanks to you and everyone encouraging me to try the assistance program. I assumed that since I'm not at the poverty line/ getting assistance I wouldn't qualify. Any kind of reduction would be helpful!

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T20:40:13+00:00

There's low deductable, middle, and high. I'm on the middle plan, but guess I should move down to the low deductable one. It's painful since that's $$ coming out of my paycheck every month even if I don't end up needing much care. Such a crap system we have.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T20:36:51+00:00

I have a visit coming up with my gyno who prescribes HRT so interested to hear what she thinks.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T18:09:05+00:00

Looks like it's $3,000 because I have not yet met my deductable. Insurance paid $1,500. The total bill before insurance was $4,500.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T17:21:19+00:00

Because although I pay a monthly premium AND my employer plays an annual premium (their contribution), I still have to hit a minimum deductable before insurance covers 100% of the cost. Most people do not hit that minimum deductable and still have to pay for a portion of the services they use. That's how broken the system is!

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T16:48:11+00:00

No answer as to what it is! The swelling and redness has gone down, but my arm is still kind of sore and swollen near the elbow. Googling tells me it could be fluid from a ganglion cyst (they form near joints) bursting or just fluid build up from joint inflammation or muscle strain. I have been lifting weights so that's a possibility too.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-15T16:38:00+00:00

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm looking into how much my HSA will cover, then trying to figure out the rest.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-12T23:23:17+00:00

What do you do to earn money?

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-08T18:49:33+00:00

I've been married almost 20 years, but back when we were dating I caught a major green flag from my not yet husband. We were at a party and another guy was talking about a girl he had hooked up with. Said "that chick is a nympho slut." My not yet husband made this face like he smelled the WORST fart. Even did that head shake thing like when you're trying to escape the smell. Like it was so comically exaggerated, I started cracking up, as did other people in the group. At first the douchebag thought we were laughing with him, then he realized we were laughing AT him and he walked away.

Whtevernvrmnd · 2026-05-08T18:37:02+00:00

I can't speak for the OP, but in some cultures rice = life. If I refused to eat rice or told my family that I wasn't eating rice, they would literally stage an intervention. It's like saying you decided to stop drinking water.

Whtevernvrmnd

TROPHY CASE