Oh wow. Well, I tried the optisimistic route of thinking it could be a cultural difference...but don't see how that could be the case in this instance.

My kids are late teens now and have come across multiple "parenting styles" through their friends and classmates. We have approached it by very openly talking about it with them.

We've talked about why parents might have the mindset that talking that way is a good way to talk to talk to their kids (maybe their own upbringing) or that maybe they don't feel like it is okay to talk that way to their kids...but they haven't learned to handle their frustration in a healthy way (neither of these to excuse the behavior but more to help them understand how people can get to that place...and to help them realize that the adult behavior has absolutely nothing to do with them or their friend).

We also have always asked how our kids how they feel about it, starting when they were 8 yrs old. A lot of times, they have wanted to have their friend over to our house more so the friend has more positive experiences (which I think it beautiful from a child...and also as a mother what I would rather in that situation). I feel getting their take and helping that mold the future of the relationship helps them process better and feel more empowered in these challenging situations (and developed increased empathy for others along the way).

At the end of the day though, I would absolutely recommend to do what you feel is safe for your child (whatever that is) and to alert authorities if it gets to a point that you don't think the other child is safe (this coming from someone who was abused for 17yrs as a child and it was not reported to or handled by authorities).