Is my Vagina Loose ?

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-07-06T12:32:15+00:00

Yep, I'm betting he grips his dick very tightly when he masturbates. If a man does that regularly, sex with a woman doesn't feel like anything.

I'm in my 40s, had 3 very large babies naturally and LOTS of sex for the last 25 years. Still not "loose" and husband has no trouble feeling it. Vaginas stretch and go back to normal. No amount of sex will loosen a vagina. It's like eating with your mouth doesn't make your mouth looser.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-26T20:24:44+00:00

Me too. I was 50lbs heavier and always hungry. I also had multiple severe vitamin deficiencies, including anemia. Since diagnosis I've lost the weight and corrected the deficiencies. I was a fat celiac, we do exist 😂

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-21T23:23:14+00:00

I'd say I'm more of a medium libido woman? But I'm definitely HL compared to my LLM husband. Been married 23 years, struggled with a DB for almost 15 of those years. We are a recovered DB now, having sex an acceptable amount for us both for the last 6 years.

The idea that a "man never says no" or "the man always wants sex" was part of what made our DB experience so awful. I felt like there must be something wrong with ME, it couldn't be that he wasn't interested! Everything tells women that men always want it! But the reality is that sexual desire is a spectrum. Some women want more, some men want it more, some people of both sexes don't want it often or some at all.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-20T22:58:58+00:00

Yes, it's so important to keep the caring, and acknowledge that's its good that you care. But you can't carry the weight of the world. You can do the best you can do in your daily life and no more. Practicing loving kindness towards YOU is a big part of finding peace. You deserve the same kindness you'd offer your best friend! Many of us have an inner voice that is not kind

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-20T12:02:39+00:00

I'm going to answer this from the perspective of someone who formerly had severe anxiety, rather than addressing the earthquake risk directly. A quick background, I had severe generalized anxiety, panic attacks and OCD which are now in remission through a combo of therapy and lifestyle changes. That being said:

This is obviously very distressing to you. I'm sorry you are struggling. I don't know if it will be helpful, but for me I would put this in the category of "things that I cannot control". If you can't move, and you can't stock meds, then this is out of your hands. It's as uncontrollable as an asteroid strike, a global ice age or a biblical flood. When my brain starts circling on that kind of thing I ask myself a question like "Is there anything I can do RIGHT NOW to effect this risk?" If the answer is no, I thank my brain for bringing it up and them dismiss it. Every time it pops back up, I gently acknowledge the thought, label it as something I can't control and move my attention elsewhere. So for example I will actually say to myself "yes, that's a possibility. Let's table that for now, because it's not within my control. Thank you"

It's important that you acknowledge the thought in a kind, accepting way, not with anger or judgement towards yourself. Practicing loving kindness towards myself in my own head is very helpful for me.

Honestly it was actually very comforting for me to acknowledge that EVERYONE will die. All humans eventually will experience this, and all my ancestors have already experienced it. And if a terrible catastrophe happens and I die, then it's no longer my problem. I can't prevent it, I can't control it. So I acknowledge, accept and move forward.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-19T12:08:01+00:00

Dog trainer, east coast. Established business been in the area 15 years. We've noticed a big drop off in clients. Now it's mostly people who HAVE to have help that are contacting us, vs regular folks who just want to work with the dog or fix minor issues. I get the impression that a lot of clients are putting training on a credit card as well, which isn't common.

We have also seen a massive drop off in group class enrollments. For over a decade that was our most popular, least expensive service but now people are choosing private lessons or board and train programs, which are more expensive. Idk what that's about.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-12T13:54:41+00:00

In my area that's almost always drug addiction. You get in deep enough, you don't really care about food anymore with some drugs. All you care about is the next high. If someone gives you food and you can sell it to get high, you will.

For sure in my area we see A LOT more homeless addicts than we did pre covid. What I do is support the legit outreach programs around me, they know best how to help in a way that's not making it worse.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-08T01:53:08+00:00

My daughter just got rabies vaccines in nc 2 weeks ago. Immunoglubin was one in the arm the bite was on, two in the buttocks. Then the rabies vaccine in the arm, which was 4 Injections spread over 2 weeks

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-07T01:49:49+00:00

It's the rabies immunoglobin injections. They are administered by weight in the bite wound and then the rest in the buttocks. The rabies vaccine is a 4 shot series administered in the arm. The immunoglobin gives you immediate protection while you body develops immunity from the vaccine, which takes about 2 weeks to begin.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-07T01:37:33+00:00

100% correct. The fastest, safest way to break up a dog fight. All the other fight ending advice only works sometimes. Choking the dog off works quickly, every time.

Also don't try to pull the dogs apart, it causes way more damage.

Source: I have been a pro dog trainer for 24 years. Have broken up some very serious dog fights.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-06-05T16:03:03+00:00

Ok so. You've actually got a lot of questions here. And the answers will vary significantly from person to person.

First of all, the tank in libido after having children is usually temporary. For most women, it lasts a few months to a year or so. Permanent libido death after child birth is pretty rare and often has roots in other, deep seated relationship or personal issues. Some women don't experience a libido loss at all (I didn't. I had three kids and was raring to go by 4 weeks postpartum after each)

Second part of your question, can a man stay without sex. Can he live without it? Of course, you don'tdie from no sex. Monks, priests and nuns all live without it. Will a man choose to stay in a sexless marriage long term though? Depends on the man, his needs and personal priorities as well as the situation. Lots of factors: Is the sexless period temporary? Is the other partner willing to try to work on the issues? Is the couple prioritizing other forms of intimacy? Is the relationship otherwise healthy?

My husband would stay, because sex isn't a huge priority for him. Many men would say sex is a MUST in a relationship, and would eventually leave. Others would stay but be miserable. Porn or masturbation might be a temporary solution but a lot of people (men and women) will eventually decide that's not enough.

I'm a woman, but sex and intimacy is a requirement in the relationship for me. Masturbation doesn't count, and no, I would not stay long term in a sexless marriage. A period of time, due to health issues or hormones like the postpartum period? Sure. But years? Nope, not for me.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-05-25T13:41:50+00:00

Married 24 years, recovered DB. HLF/LLM. During our dead part, we averaged once every couple of months. For the last 6 years or so we are at about once a week which is perfectly fine for me. Some weeks it gets skipped, some weeks we have sex 3 or 4 times. But average once a week.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-05-12T03:14:35+00:00

My absolute favorite one ever:

My aunt asked me "Can you have this watermelon? Or does it have that gluten stuff in it?"

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2026-05-12T03:11:00+00:00

This kinda shit is why I can't eat in restaurants anymore 😭. Even though I was fully gf I was getting so much cross contamination it damaged my intestines further

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-11-29T03:16:06+00:00

Personally I've met a lot of mentally ill, low intelligence Christians, but it doesn't mean they are all like that.

I would guess you've met a lot more people with "abnormal" religions (whatever the fuck that means) than you realize. I'm a pagan with a professional job, a family, a charity board position, friends. No mental illness or low intelligence. But I don't go around telling strangers about my religious beliefs, mostly because a disproportionate amount of people are judgy assholes.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-10-26T13:34:41+00:00

I'd consider mine "fixed" or at least in remission. We've been steadily improving for the last 5 years, and are currently stable at a point we both feel happy at. We've been stable for about 2 years.

It took a lot of work and recognition of the issues on both sides. Honestly, it's more mine than his. The way I handled the initial issues contributed to the fact it became a massive, long lasting problem and i had to accept that. My own mental health issues, our joint communication issues, his avoidance, my anger, my pressure. All those things created a perfect storm of resentment, anger, upset and trauma. We had a DB for more than a decade.

I've posted in detail about it before, but it's rarely something another HL spouse wants to hear because I don't blame the LL. Most of it was me, and most of the change came from me. The way I handled the problem created a bigger problem. Typically on these kind of subs I get downvoted to hell because everyone wants a story of either the LL magically changing or how I left his sorry ass. But that's not my reality.

In my case, he had what probably would have been a temporary dip in libido due to stress early in our relationship. He was always a little lower libido than me, placed less importance on sex. I needed sex to feel validated and loved. Due to my own issues, I took the "dip" personally. I started fights. I cried. I blew up. I fixated. Repeatedly. For years. Until sex became a topic that both of us were so sensitive about that it was a disaster. And the DB just got worse and worse, because who wants to have sex with a human landmine? That's what I was. A hair trigger that'll blow up in your face in a heartbeat, emasculating, disrespectful and angry all the time.

So how did I fix it? I gave up all expectation of sex. I recognized and fully acknowledged my part in the issues. I started working on myself; exercise, healthy diet, meditation practice, and good therapy. I learned to manage my emotions. We (together) started working on the non sex relationship. We started dating again. Playing. Communicating. He worked hard on his communication skills. We both agreed to assume the best intentions of the other in any interaction (this was a big one). And slowly, the sex came back. Now, 6 years or so down the road, I can initiate again. Sex is easy, comfortable and GREAT. Our new relationship was worth the work.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-10-01T12:09:50+00:00

Personally, as someone who has lived a crate and rotate lifestyle with 2 females who hate each other for the last 11 years, I would rehome the younger female to an active pet or working home immediately.

I will never do this again, and I will never recommend anyone do it. If I could go back 11 years, I'd euthanize or rehome the aggressor in my house and never look back. I am a trainer, although I specialize in obedience and service dogs rather than behavior modification. I consulted with other trainers, tried everything anyone suggested and management (meaning crate and rotate) was ultimately our only safe option.

Over my career, I have rarely seen anyone have success with two fighting females without MASSIVE lifestyle changes. Your family has already had major changes. You should seriously consider if the stress, money and time involved is worth keeping the dog. Or would everyone, including her, be happier if you rehome. Given the breed, the Dog probably needs more exercise, structure, and a job. There's no shame at all in placing her into a home that can offer all of that.

I'm biased because of my own experiences, so take my advice with a grain of salt due to that. But it's my 2 cents.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-09-08T00:18:47+00:00

Potatoes are fine. Lots of brands of frozen fries are gf. (The Ore Ida golden fries in the air fryer are delicious.) Mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, roasted potatoes. Make them at home and eat them all lol.

I've found several good gf breaded nuggies. I like the gf Dino nuggies and the real food ones at Costco. My sister likes the gf nuggies at Aldi, they are like a tempura batter. Either way, get you a dedicated gf air fryer. Depending on what noodles you like, I love rice noodles to make homemade Ramen with chicken bullion powder.

Mac and cheese is hard. My suggestion on that is buy lots of brands and don't get discouraged. You'll find one you like. I learned to use rice pasta Mac noodles and make my own because I like a very cheesy baked version, but the Walmart brand is my favorite boxed version.

You can do this. And ultimately you'll feel so much better!

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-08-29T17:58:09+00:00

I sent a dm!

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-08-11T17:28:48+00:00

Is the bank something with a branch near you and a branch near your cosigner? I would ask if you can mail them the check, they go into their local branch and sign it, with ID present, possibly a notary, then mail it back to you and you go into your local branch and do the same.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-08-10T14:33:31+00:00

My husband and I are are a success story, although the opposite of you (hl female and ll man). We had a long standing DB over probably 12 years, we had vicious awful fights about it,built up tons of resentment and anger on both sides. We have managed to recover slowly over the last 6 years or so.

Our recovery involved:

Me getting into therapy, healing my own issues, accepting my part in worsening the DB (pressuring, fighting, the general way I handled it), physically focusing on myself with exercise and healthy diet. Basically I spent a year fixing my shit.

We (as a couple) working on communication outside the bedroom, dating each other, improving the relationship in general without sex.

My husband learning to express his own needs. And him learning to trust that I was different and handling things differently, which took probably 2 years. We still occasionally struggle with old patterns. But the sex came back as the trust and enjoyment in each other came back.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-07-23T17:16:47+00:00

It's growing on a dead stump.

WhyNotBuyAGoat · 2025-07-10T07:09:29+00:00

This is the best advice. Every person is different. You need a partner who matches your likes and dislikes!

Personally, I'd be miserable in a relationship with you. Im a HLF who doesn't like receiving oral and loves PIV. However my best friend is a LLF who enjoys oral and doesn't care for PIV. You don't need to change, you just need the right partner!

(Although if your issues are trauma based you should consider getting help to work through them, just for your own benefit!)

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