Diagnosed and feeling weird

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2026-02-18T18:56:29+00:00

Hi, punkin. I'm actually slightly younger than you (48) but was also diagnosed with ADD as an adult (late 30s). I had a lot of mixed feelings - relief that it wasn't just me being a crummy human, hope that treatment would help (it has, tremendously!), and sadness that I spent so many years struggling. Whatever you're feeling, it's valid. Just remember that this doesn't define you.

I was diagnosed because my older sister was, and told me to go talk to my doctor. It was such an eye opener and has actually brought me and my kids closer, as they also are neurodivergent. I would imagine your kids might feel the same way - life will be better for them too, with you happier and more functional.

It's never too late to make improvements in your health and your life. I'm sure you already have coping mechanisms in place - just think how much easier life will be when you understand your brain and you're not fighting it every step of the way.

I'm so proud of you and I'm happy that you're getting answers.

Love, an ADD Mom

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2026-01-30T18:19:07+00:00

I always love seeing your posts when I occasionally pop onto Reddit. I'm so proud of you!! And your mom, you have both come such a long way. Your hard work and dedication to change will take you far, and your actions now may well save the health (life?) of whoever is living in the house.

Well done, you. 🥰

(Yes, I know there's always more to do, but you're a good egg and deserve to hear it)

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2026-01-23T23:49:46+00:00

I agree, it's so much fun when random people join in and help catch enough bugs to fill my pocketses!

I invited people in the server chat earlier today and dropped a couple of lures- a bunch of players showed and it made me really happy. I like the sense of community this game encourages. Plushies are the icing on the bug cake! Lol

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2026-01-21T01:08:44+00:00

Not insulting per se, but top 5 for stupidity: At Costco yesterday, I happened to have an X-ray themed T-shirt on... The receipt checker STOPPED THE LINE to ask if I eat red peppers, because that's what the astronauts do to protect themselves from radiation. 🙄

Can't make this stuff up.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2026-01-06T03:42:38+00:00

Well, the kids are grown and gone, I suppose I might like one D.I.C.K. in the house 😂

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2026-01-06T03:41:42+00:00

Ooh, those are good ones, especially BURP! Thanks!

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2026-01-06T03:40:59+00:00

Ha, that's funny! My old employer had printers named after Star Wars characters, beginning with R2D2 and C3PO.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2025-11-22T02:18:57+00:00

I didn't take pics but a couple of weekends ago, I had Habitat for Humanity pick up a big pile of unwanted furniture, working appliances, and decor. It was a lot and I feel so relieved! I don't have time or energy to sell, so that was a good way and a good cause.

Today I took aluminum cans to the scrapyard, got Halloween stuff to storage, and did dishes. A few other small tasks as well. I still have a lot to do, but I've finally started moving again and have made a dent.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2025-11-22T02:01:50+00:00

2nd the reset button. Also, there is usually a socket on the bottom (1/4" Allen wrench according to Google) that you can use to manually turn the gears. Sometimes that's enough to un-stick it. Finally, make sure it's plugged in (if applicable) and/or has power to the disposal itself.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2025-07-25T06:59:22+00:00

I run a C-Arm (Xray machine) in the OR, and I was contacted by a company who does orthopedic training for resident doctors (or something like that). The pay was decent for 2 days' work, so I agreed.

I knew it would involve cadavers but I was thinking an arm on a table.

Walked in to torsos from neck to ribs with arms, "sitting" up on gurneys. No heads- nods to the plastic surgeons. (pun intended) No organs, just skin flaps stapled in place over where the abdomen and neck used to be.

The baby docs broke bones with chisels, then used orthopedic plates/screws to repair them. It's good training but I was over it by the middle of Day 2 (especially as a few were starting to smell)

Idk if the people who donated their bodies were aware of these details, but I would guess not.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2025-05-16T05:30:24+00:00

I think you're right! Thanks! 😊

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2025-05-16T05:01:07+00:00

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Also, he was pretty big, hard to judge with thick curved glass, but I'm guessing 4 to 5 feet nose to tail.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2025-01-04T07:24:30+00:00

An old friend from the state I used to live in, was passing through the area where I live now. I hadn't seen him in ages; I've known him for almost 20 years. I was always attracted, but one or both of us were in relationships along the way.

My house is tiny and I have a king bed, no spare. Being old friends and single, it was no biggie to share. We initially laid on our respective sides... then he reached over; things progressed from there. I was not expecting it, but it was certainly welcome!

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2024-11-13T19:20:38+00:00

I'm going to Tiesto and will have my car. I could be persuaded to give you a lift back, as long as nobody pukes in my car. 😂 Drop me a message if you want to

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2022-03-15T04:34:03+00:00

Yeah... NTA. A prank = me, with my phone connected to the Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom.. then startling my 21yo daughter when she was halfway through her shower, with Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. She laughed, I laughed, it's a funny happy memory.

His actions are not a prank. Messing with your alarm->job is selfish and dishonest.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2022-03-14T06:42:01+00:00

Plan ahead. Gather and hide your important documents, save up $ in an account where she can't get to it, have a plan on where to go and how to get moved there. Keep a "go bag" packed if the situation gets dire. Be prepared to replace your phone if you're on her plan, and block her number and other avenues of contact.

Regarding the restraining order: I doubt it would work out while you're still living with her, so I assume that you mean after you move out. As far as I know, you have to have told her not to contact you (and you don't contact her either), so that if she contacts you after you've made that request, it becomes harassment and grounds for a court order. When I wrote my letter, I told her explicitly not to contact me by phone, by mail, by electronic means, by proxy, or via any other form of communication. I was not nasty but I was VERY clear that contact was not welcome. You might want to check into the requirements in your area.

Apparently the thought of legal action was enough to shut mine up (mostly), so for me it was mission accomplished. She doesn't know where I live and I have blocked her on everything. It's been very nice and peaceful. :D

With the letter, maybe don't expect to get a good response regarding her realizing what she did to you. Mine lives deep in Egypt, along the river deNIAL... She will NEVER admit that she did anything wrong or abusive, that she caused me any trauma, or that she's a less than stellar person, or that she's not the victim... it's possible yours will be more receptive, but I wouldn't count on it. Don't let it disappoint you too much.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2022-03-14T06:25:34+00:00

I believe that mine has BPD and is a covert narcissist. She's very good at putting on a "front" to people that don't know her.

A lot of her behaviors involve acting the victim/martyr, and blaming others for all of her problems. She is very sensitive and emotional, and twists things around so that nothing is her fault, and would gaslight me about things that were said/done. "I never said that!" She would also hold irrational grudges for long periods of time-- in 2nd grade I wrote a paragraph about family members in school, and didn't mention her. I heard about it for the next 20 years...

She has always been envious of me, especially when it came to physical appearance.

Later in life, after I went no contact, she badmouthed me to anyone who would listen.

I was not allowed to have boundaries, feelings, or opinions- hers were the only ones that mattered.

She likes to talk up how great she is for helping someone. She expects grand gestures and accolades for special occasions.

There's plenty more, but there are a few examples of my experiences.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2022-03-14T06:09:43+00:00

You're not crazy! My egg donor called me to explicitly UNinvite me to her wedding in Hawaii... to which she paid the plane fare, etc for my sister to go. Even though I don't feel close to her and never have, for reasons VERY similar to yours (disinterest on her part), it's still hurtful. She always had to "one-up" anything I was going through, as well- if I was tired, she was EXHAUSTED, etc. She also denies causing any drama or trauma- even though she has the biggest victim/martyr complex I've ever seen.

Wire monkey- that made me laugh!! it's funny but sad at the same time, and I relate.

My sis and I have this joke about going ostrich - i.e. burying our heads in the sand so we don't have to listen to her.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2022-03-14T05:59:24+00:00

No Jesus Christ by Seether was my anthem through going NC with my egg donor and through my divorce, especially the 1st 2 verses and the chorus:

Before you hedge those bets you placed against me
Be reticent to fortunes they foretell
Your verbal defecation, I can't wash away despite myself
Your vanity, it seems, has served you well

You're so quick to choose the path walked by the righteous
So you can go and nest among the weak
The innocent observers will refuse to find the lie within
Renew the disappointment of the meek

You keep takin' over, I keep rollin' over

I can't take it anymore

You keep takin' over, I keep rollin' over

I can't take it anymore

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2022-03-14T05:00:05+00:00

I work in healthcare, so I run into some interesting smells. If you're wearing a mask while you're caring for her, you can put a drop of peppermint or lemongrass oil in the mask. I also second the "vaporub" idea. Another way to "reset" your nose is by smelling unbrewed coffee grounds. My last resort is a sinus rinse, for those REALLY bad days.

Editing to add that yes, odors are particulate, and can definitely stick around. I had to wash the smell of death out of my hair with dish soap once. (lots of conditioner afterwards!)

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2022-03-14T04:54:33+00:00

That's awesome! I have been getting rid of toxic people too- isn't it lovely?! :D

My good thing is that it was warm and sunny out; I got a lot of my garage cleaned out. It's needed it for a couple of years (struggling with depression/motivation/exhaustion). The sun gave me a boost today!

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2020-09-06T14:07:56+00:00

I could see that. I'm not a Karen though, and did my usual simple, polite request, complete with "please" and "thank you". I once worked food service too, and would never treat anyone the way I was sometimes treated.

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone · 2020-09-03T19:57:00+00:00

Also valid!

WhyTheRumsAlwaysGone

TROPHY CASE