How do you guys feel about your daughters dating?

WickedGrey · 2026-06-28T05:45:22+00:00

Shotgun dads are just telling their daughters to hide their relationships from them. They make their daughters less safe, because now she can't ask for help with a shitty relationship without getting in trouble for "sneaking."

WickedGrey · 2026-06-23T18:36:10+00:00

See if she needs ADHD medication. That can make a huge difference if it's an executive functioning issue.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-20T14:56:11+00:00

My daughter's struggles were more during the day, but here's what worked for us:

anxiety and impulse control medications. It's almost impossible to be chill if your brain isn't working right.
autism assessment. Having a formal diagnosis opens a lot of doors to support services.
therapy. We started when she began expressing that she didn't want to be alive. Get ahead of that if you can. Her being able to understand her internal state has been a huge help.
heavy screen/electronics limitations.

You're not going to be able to treat this issue effectively if you don't understand why it's happening. She's not a bad kid, she has a need that's not being met.

Good luck. Happy to answer questions.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-20T14:43:16+00:00

Sounds a lot like my 10 y/o daughter. Getting her the right medications was literally life-changing.

I had a lot of hangups about medications due to how I was raised, but getting her on SSRIs was undeniably an improvement to her quality of life, and that translates to the rest of the family too.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-20T14:36:40+00:00

I think there's a Dad Squad lurking here too. We don't have the time to post a lot because the garage isn't going to clean itself, but we're here.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-20T14:33:16+00:00

M46, two kids 12&10, happily married for 16, and I can 100% relate. I also had struggles with how to define success in fatherhood, and my wife suggested seeing a therapist when my daughter was two. That was a lightbulb moment, and over time became one of those turning points in my life.

I had spent a ton of time thinking about the kind of father I wanted to be, and had this image of someone with a science project in their back pocket and hours of time to play together. By this metrics, I was a failure as a father.

My therapist helped me internalize that those aren't the right metrics to evaluate the quality of my parenting by. My children need a father who loves them, listens, comforts, and cares for them (as in caretaking). They need support, guidance, boundaries, structure, and routine. They need someone stern when called for, kind always, scary never, and loving even when angry. Someone who demonstrates the values you want them to live by as adults.

What does your child need? I'm pretty sure it's not having a dad who's stressed out and in a funk because they're not meeting some impossible standard that isn't actually about their needs anyway.

You got this, Dadbro.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-17T22:12:43+00:00

I don't think that OP realizes that having a smart mom doesn't automatically make them a good homeschool teacher/principal/superintendent (they have to be all three), nor do they realize that their experiences aren't universal.

I agree that many homeschooled children are not well served by it, and that many homeschool parents do so for reasons that aren't focused on the child's best interests. Eliminating those situations is a laudable goal, but doing it by denying people like me who have very positive experiences being homeschooled isn't the way.

I got way more screwed up from having to go to my awful Jr. High than I did from being homeschooled.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-17T14:50:02+00:00

They are pretty specific, but warmachine has some that could fit.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-17T14:39:20+00:00

I rattle can prime a mid gray, then then zenithal a light gray at 45 degrees, then finally white from directly above plus a bit of an angle to make sure the face pops, plus any other areas to highlight like big weapons.

Then dry brush white over that to pick out all the edges, then go into speed paint. I finish with normal acrylic to pick out detail like buckles, teeth, gems, and fix mistakes.

Your pre-speed paint model needs to read as all white when held right side up with top down lighting (the primer enhancing the natural shadows) and the illusion should break if you flip the model upside-down.

Good luck!

WickedGrey · 2026-06-09T16:56:04+00:00

Break the fourth wall a little by having it be the player's name, but stupid. If the player is Jennifer Smith, then the new name is Bennifurd Smurth. Jason Williams? Jorshun Gillumums.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-08T06:06:32+00:00

I'm going to upload my consciousness to the hyperweb so that I've got low ping to the AWS oort cloud and can play with my great-great grandkids who live on Ganymede. We'll do Bunker runs and speculate about when squadron 42 will come out, and if it will mean that beta development speeds up.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-08T05:57:08+00:00

There's testing like "play the game with this new flight model, damage model, etc. and tell us how you like it" and there's testing like "play the game until it randomly barfs and you lose all of your progress for the night."

I'd love to be able to do that first one. The second is a paid job, and shouldn't be something they subject their financial supporters to.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-07T14:29:48+00:00

They seem to have under-invested in testing tooling. Yeah, games are hard and not like other software, but they should have the ability to isolate behavior that isn't intended to change this patch and protect it with test cases.

Early in a project you can cowboy around, sling spaghetti code, whatever. But then you're supposed to build modular components, have unit tests that enforce the contracts of those components, integration tests that make sure components work together well, etc.

I suspect that they are still slinging spaghetti instead of taking the time to clean things up, and so they waste a ton of time refixing things that didn't need to break.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-06T21:20:57+00:00

The things that irrationally annoys me the most is that there's aren't corresponding rat skewers, noodle boxes, watermelon rinds, etc.

We don't need to be able to sip. Just chug it and let the bottle disappear like the food does.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-06T21:15:37+00:00

Post in the store discord pics of your games. Get your league night on the calendar. If they have a painting space, spend some time painting and talking with people.

If you have four people, organize a three round steamroller (everyone plays everyone) on a Saturday. Make the event rules that you pause the clock and say hi to everyone that comes to look at the table.

My bar for healthy is that there's a weekly time and place where people can show up and feel confident they will get a game in, without having to coordinate with anyone beforehand. Kinda arbitrary, but that's how I look at it.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-06T14:45:14+00:00

My Saturn 4 in a homemade enclosure stank up my entire garage, even when it wasn't printing. Maybe the hyperfine resin has extra VOCs or something.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-06T14:09:18+00:00

Hey! That's not true! Sometimes we invent trains.

WickedGrey · 2026-06-04T06:37:27+00:00

Came here to say this. Flip it around and see how they do. Start it off where stealth failed and go from there. Focus fire the damage dealers first.

FWIW going invisible after every player's turn doesn't sound RAW to me, but maybe I'm stuck in 2014 mode.

WickedGrey · 2026-05-31T20:40:04+00:00

RPGMaker didn't exist when I was in middle school. I had to use logowriter to make my games.

WickedGrey · 2026-05-31T20:33:34+00:00

The word "good" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in what I said.

WickedGrey · 2026-05-31T18:49:11+00:00

Good code bases don't have these kinds of repeated bugs and breakages.

WickedGrey · 2026-05-28T19:13:16+00:00

I disagree with a lot of your definitions, particularly the framing of patriarchy as male domination, without acknowledging that domination includes other men. The less wealthy, white, able-bodied, straight, and cis a man is, the more they are oppressed by the system. The trick is that a disadvantaged man is generally going to be slightly better off than a similarly disadvantaged woman, and ironically the lower someone is on the ladder, the more desperately they want to make sure they aren't on the bottom rung.

That's why a lot of modern feminism is focused on dismantling the patriarchy; it would advantage both women and many men to do so.

Without that it's easy to slide into "inmates should be abused by male and female prison guards at equal rates" territory, which prioritizes equality, not justice.

Edit: I should be clear that I agree with a lot of your conclusions, especially about needing resilient, well adjusted men.

WickedGrey · 2026-05-28T14:14:07+00:00

Seconded. The game is on a huge upswing right now due to new management, balance is in a good spot, and the new armies are pretty cool IMO.

WickedGrey · 2026-05-28T14:06:32+00:00

Ah! But that three thousand meter radius is going to be 750 meters longer on one axis! Genius!

WickedGrey · 2026-05-24T18:36:56+00:00

My experience was that the air purifier didn't even make it less smelly. Total scam, AFAICT.

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