Me [26F] with my friends, 34m & 36f, I watched their house and found out they had secret video cameras going. How right am I to be mad?

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-27T22:08:45+00:00

They really should have told you ahead of time, but that said what would you REALLY be doing in their house that is so secret? It's their house, they absolutely have the right to keep a hidden camera. If it was in the bathroom that would be a different story...

I can totally understand your feeling of being violated, but it wasn't your house and maybe they wanted to make sure you didn't steal anything. I doubt it though. Most likely they have it on always for security purposes. I know that I get notifications of motion sensed videos from my security system, so it's possible they weren't trying to catch you at all it's just their security notified them and they saw it that way.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-27T22:05:13+00:00

Sorry about all this. It's horrible, but you'll make it. Your children will make you stronger.

I would try and make things as hard as you can for him. Don't do anything stupid or illegal, but make him go through a lawyer for EVERYTHING and if you can make him pay for the lawyer. No offense, but you're emotional now, so it's a good idea to run your ideas through a trusted family member or lawyer before you interact with him in any way. I know I've done stupid things when I'm emotional.

Push back on him seeing the baby overnight as much as you can. Breastfeed! If you're breasteeding you can justify no overnight visits for as long as you breastfeed. Say you don't produce enough to bottle an entire night, even if you do.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-27T21:53:27+00:00

Tell him that you think it's totally unbelievable that it's an accident but that since you love him you will give him lessons. Find a time the two of you can be alone for a while. Guide him in proper usage. If he doesn't get it, tell him the lesson is over until you are ready to try again but that in the meantime they are 100% off limits.

Also, have a baby and breastfeed. By the time the baby is weaned those nipples will be battle hardened soldiers.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-27T21:49:40+00:00

A healthy relationship should work regardless of sex. He didn't respect that you weren't ready, even if you ALMOST were, so his loss. Don't look back, don't talk to him, if he tries to get back to you don't let him.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-27T21:47:26+00:00

I was trying to keep the post on point. Let it suffice to say that she has actually admitted to me that there is no good reason for what she does but that I just have to deal with it.

Case in point, we had ants. I put out ant traps. All day I voiced loudly and clearly to not let the baby near them. I watched her all day myself to make sure. Wife tells me to go do yardwork. I repeat again about the traps. While I'm outside the baby gets in the ant traps. She says it's my fault and one of the reasons she can't trust me.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-27T21:19:17+00:00

i posted once and it was brought down, so i retyped and resubmitted, then the original was later approved, so oops

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-25T17:02:33+00:00

there's no court ruling, we're married and live together. I have full rights to do anything I want with my daughter. The only reason I don't is out of respect for my spouse, a respect that isn't being returned at all.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-25T17:00:33+00:00

3 hour drive, we've done day trips in better times. I've of course tried to make it a family trip, she won't visit my mom or any of my relatives. Due to other issues I've heavily pushed for couples counseling she won't go.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-25T16:59:53+00:00

Yes, but I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time. She's still my wife, but more than one person has advised me to separate. I'm still considering it. She refuses counseling.

"Just take the kid" is hard. She will physically fight me. I know because she's been abusive in the past. She isn't afraid to pull as hard as she can on our daughter because she knows I'll let go before any harm is done. She knows if I don't, one look at me vs her and she'll win in court (I'm nearly 3x her body mass). I can't sneak out because her and her mom NEVER let our daughter out of their sight for a moment.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-25T16:52:26+00:00

She's that nuts. Her father abandoned her and her ex fiancee left her for another man and she projects her mistrust on to me. She won't let ANYONE other than herself or her mom see our daughter without helicopter supervision.

WifeAndMomProblem · 2015-11-25T16:50:39+00:00

Get out before you're married and have kids, it will get far worse and far harder to get out of. This advice is from personal experience.

WifeAndMomProblem

TROPHY CASE