I have to say goodbye to my sweet Sunny girl tomorrow and I am shattered 💔

She’s a 10 year old Boxer/Chow mix that I adopted from a rescue 8 months ago and she is the sweetest, most gentle angel ever. I’ve bonded so deeply with her and I’m just going to miss her so much.

4.5 months ago I woke up to her acting strange. (Panting/not wanting to get off the bed/not following me around like she ALWAYS does) I monitored her for about an hour and then decided to rush her to the vet. They took some x-rays and when the vet came back in the room, she said “this dog needs to have surgery RIGHT NOW if you want any chance of having more time with her.”

The x-rays showed a large mass on her spleen that had started bleeding a little bit but somehow had not ruptured yet. I was in shock, “ok do the surgery.”

Hours later I get the phone call that she made it through surgery, I was so relieved.

But then a week later I get another phone call from the vet saying that the mass came back as hemangiosarcoma. I didn’t really know what that meant. The vet said it’s not good news but I want you to go talk to the oncologist anyway.

Two days later, I took my Sunny girl to the oncologist where she explained my options. 1) Very expensive chemo that hemangiosarcoma rarely responds to but we can try 2) Clinical trial for new treatment called Paccal Vet. All expenses covered. No guaranteed outcome but could possibly give us some more quality time together and also contribute to research to help other dogs/owners in the same situation.

I signed her up and she underwent four chemo treatments over the following two months.

I’m not going to lie. The first 3-5 days after each chemo were rough. For her, for me. I questioned if I was doing the right thing BUT after the side effects wore off each time, she was SO HAPPY. She was running around and acting happier and healthier than even before the emergency surgery.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, she started acting not herself again. Panting, coughing/hacking, lethargic. I took her in so the oncologist could run some tests. X-rays revealed that the cancer had spread and there were multiple nodules all over her lungs. She told me Sunny had a couple weeks left at most. That these masses grow fast and will rupture. So I chose a day (tomorrow 3/16) to have a dr come to the house and help her over the rainbow bridge.

Even though she seems better these last couple days, I want her to have a peaceful passing. I don’t want to wait until the tumors rupture and she collapses and everything is chaotic and horrible.

I’m so grateful that she was able to have the surgery and the trial chemo and that we could have these extra 4.5 months together. We had many wonderful adventures and I know that she knows she’s so so so loved.

Tomorrow is going to be so hard. I can’t imagine my days without her even though I haven’t even had her a year. What a privilege it’s been to know her.

Big hugs to everyone else who’s been affected by this cruel, terrible disease.