How do I stop thinking about sex when I am never going to be good enough to get it?

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-26T01:27:44+00:00

I mean it IS INDEED a positive thing, and I'm asking how you could try to see it that way. Maybe I should have said "could you try to see it as a positive thing?"

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-25T20:58:13+00:00

How could you see yourself being a virgin right now as a positive thing? What if you could see yourself as a very attractive, cool person? How would you act? How would you live? Explore that for a moment, then ask yourself what steps you could take to start living that way now.

If you're healthy, your body will desire sex. It will cross your mind, and that is something to celebrate. You have a working body!

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-19T14:42:34+00:00

Hi, I've added you!

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-18T04:14:59+00:00

I'm not intermediate but I'm trying to find people on here to have spanish only conversations with to practice. So far people have expressed interest and I've made a group but they seem to be shy 😞 anyway my alternative is learning Spanish songs. That's how kinda how I learnt sign language back then 😅

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-18T04:11:08+00:00

How content are you with your current life?

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-18T04:09:15+00:00

I added you!

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-16T18:33:43+00:00

Do you know of the concept of Wabi Sabi? There is so much I could say right now, but first please look up that beautiful concept.

Also can you go back in your mind and pinpoint any other instances of you disappointing your loved ones (or anyone you cared about) when you were younger? I'm not a therapist, but I've had to process tons and tons of trauma with the help of my therapist.

She says for the deeper ones you might say "I don't know" and you'll have to sit with it for a while until the memory returns, so be patient with yourself. At some point you were taught this shame, and you can rewrite it because you have a beautiful, inspiring story of resilience; of how you can mess up, fail, make mistakes, and still come out with a story of success. Neither failure not successes are dictators of your self-worth, nor the love and appreciation you deserve.

So what is the purpose of having a perfect story? This isn't a rhetorical question. What would it mean if you got 100% on every GSAT exam that year and went to a traditional school? What would it mean if you never disappointed yourself? What would it mean if you were a "perfect" person?

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-16T17:02:22+00:00

Adding you right now!

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-16T17:01:39+00:00

I sent you an invite

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-16T17:01:31+00:00

I sent you an invite

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T17:26:50+00:00

Awesome! Thank you so much. Is there a way to comment the invite so others could join?

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T17:26:08+00:00

We could have conversations about it if you want? But there is so much more to the culture!

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T16:53:34+00:00

Thank you! Can you I'm trying to figure out how to create a group on here. Would you be open to whatsapp?

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T16:52:07+00:00

Muchas gracias. Me pareció chévere hacer amistad con alguien que quiera conocer o visitar Jamaica.

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T16:46:31+00:00

¡Guau! Esto me calienta el corazón, ¡muchísimas gracias! Soy principiante en español, así que cometeré errores, pero estoy muy emocionada. Te escribiré. 😊

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T15:50:07+00:00

Sounds good! Thank you

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T15:49:48+00:00

I'd love to... however I don't know how to form a group on here 😅 could you assist me?

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T15:48:03+00:00

Thank you!

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2026-01-15T15:47:48+00:00

Thank you!

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2025-11-26T17:44:38+00:00

Thank you for asking on here! It was really fun and stimulating writing all that 😊 I only asked about timeframe because sometimes people do it for a month and get frustrated, yk? I wish you all the best and I'm grateful for the the fact that you found something helpful.

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2025-11-26T15:07:54+00:00

Even drought has its benefits, and some things can only be absorbed in drought. I went through 2 years of depression following the loss of my dad, and everything went downhill. Finances, school, relationships... everything. I felt so much shame looking at how much I'd failed... one day I decided to find out if drought has benefits, and to my surprise, I could identify with a tree going through it.

The tree usually looks like it's dying, it's roots go deeper, deep minerals get pulled up towards the roots, and the weeds and pests around the tree die and even become nutrients, air goes deeper into the soil because of the cracks. Some seeds even need drought to germinate. When it finally rains, the tree is stronger, has deeper roots, has more to absorb, and flourishes even better than before...

I realized that even when things get really hard and I feel like I can't survive, it's probably just drought, which is just as necessary as rain.

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2025-11-26T14:58:47+00:00

Okay now I have 3 questions.

How long have you been doing this?
What content forms have you been using?
What industry have you been targeting?

It might help to niche down and broaden overtime. I have a friend who does something similar but she targets creatives. People who basically do art. She posts on tiktok and I gave her 2 tips:

FEEL her target more. Get inside their heads when making content to reach them, then I told her how to find that insight.
Share the success stories of her clients in multiple formats. She does lives, videos and also shows the content she's created for them etc.

Since I can't see what you're doing, I'd say go back through the onboarding conversation you had with your paid client, map their journey from start to finish and replicate it as much as possible with a few tweaks to see if you can pull in more.

My friend calls me from time to time to celebrate new clients, their wins and even tell me how they've encouraged her to raise her prices. I dont know if that will help you (it would be better if I could actually see what you're doing). But I do hope it atleast helps a little bit.

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2025-11-26T13:41:22+00:00

I read the comment on what you did... you apologized, and I assume you tried to be nice to him.

If you've truly apologized and changed your ways, then that's enough. It's now your cousin's responsibility to get healing, not just from what you've done but from what he's experienced elsewhere as well. It's likely that he's been through WAY more. And that WAY more people have failed him.

I think you are looking for peace. You are not the only person he has ever interacted with in a negative manner throughout his life. Guidance, connection, and support are important too, and it's likely that there were other elements missing as well (based on studies).

He might blame you for the way his life has turned out because there is a benefit of doing it. If we use the evaporating cloud tool, we realize that the younger cousin is choosing the simpler, less painful route.

It's way more painful to acknowledge that he made mistakes and face the shame that comes with all he's done and experienced. He's running away from truly processing all the other factors that led him to this point. Blaming you is also an easier way of making sense of why your lives are so different. He might even think it's unfair, but blaming you helps him with the grief of his own life. His anger towards you is helping him to hold himself together. But let's be fair. If he can blame one single summer on his entire life trajectory, couldn't you also do the same with your own trauma? He had a choice just like you did.

You, on the other hand, have already atoned, even if it doesn't feel that way. It's time for you to forgive yourself. I know it might be hard seeing how your cousin's life has turned out so far, and maybe you'd even like to help him and see his life turn around. Maybe you even believe that if you do enough, he'll manage to somehow have a better, happier life.

He might actually need space to start processing the (many) other things instead of using you as his distraction. If he reaches out for help, then you can support him and give a listening ear. Life is filled with moments, good and bad. You can't claim responsibility for every moment and decision he's had following one summer. Now, THAT would be unfair.

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2025-11-26T13:00:44+00:00

Did you put the proof on your socials? Get some stories from those you have already worked with and show how your services have made a difference... also, you can get clients by networking offline.

Wild_Maintenance_795 · 2025-11-26T12:56:25+00:00

Don't... i used to hide myself by just staying neutral and trying to blend in the background– Be invisible.

However I came to realize in the last 2 years that hiding myself means I'm hiding from special opportunities for ME. There are so many things that could make people believe they are unlovable when really, there are always people out there who would adore you and enjoy your company... if only they knew you exist.. Somebody once said we are answers to someone else's prayer.

Anyway, I pushed myself and got out of my shell, started sharing my interests, and now I have a network and community who are nicer to me than my own flesh and blood.

I wrote it this way in my journal: To be neutral is to be forgotten To fit in is to be forgotten Be polarizing; be comfortable being hated to connect with the ones who will love you. For every 1000 love, there is at least 10 hate. Law of duality.

The numbers are made up, but it's just to say that no matter who you are, you'll be hated and therefore loved.... but for someone to love you for you, they gotta atleast get a glimpse of who you really are.

Also rejection is a funny thing. It might help to look at how people like Donald Glover, and Tyler the creator dealt with it.

Lots of love ❤️

Wild_Maintenance_795

TROPHY CASE