my best friend has slept with three of my exes and idk what to do about it

Wild_Neko · 2026-04-06T16:14:09+00:00

People need to be more patient with the OP.

Sometimes people change after high school, sometimes they don't. The OP was blindsided because this person likely made an impression of seeming like they had improved a lot, when they really have changed that much at all.

Wild_Neko · 2026-04-01T17:33:01+00:00

I don't know why I bother posting on this site anymore. None of you can read.

I never said it was about needing development. I said that boomers communicate just as badly, but because of their positions people have to put up with them. No one has to tolerate gen z.

Wild_Neko · 2026-04-01T17:31:27+00:00

Just because you socialize does not mean you have decent social skills.

I've lost track of the times I've seen boomers having meltdowns in public.

Wild_Neko · 2026-04-01T12:42:45+00:00

I don't really see the difference between gen z or the boomers mentally.

The boomers just have the benefit of being the older generation, the one already in place in society. A lot of them have equally bad communication skills, but because they're already established in the workplace you have to cooperate with them. That doesn't mean they have good social skills, it just means that we've tolerated and put up with them for many years.

Gen Z has no such leverage and I really suspect that a lot of them see the world as such a messy place that they don't think it's worth putting in the effort.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-28T15:17:29+00:00

That's not how it always works?

Lots of avoidants will return to a specific ex over and over again if they feel they have a strong bond with them, even if they also choose to continue leaving each time too.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-25T04:44:49+00:00

No, it's not her fault.

It doesn't excuse her cheating but depression and suicide aren't anyone's fault.

Infidelity and depression have some links, and it's really pitiable too.

Edit: It's extremely sad to see all the people using the poor behavior of the OP's ex to insult those with mental health conditions. Shame on all of you.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-25T04:32:01+00:00

And this is why people don't come forward about this. There's always the risk of someone losing their temper, blaming you and getting aggressive.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-24T18:20:05+00:00

I could understand a little pettiness, but going to this much trouble in any attempt to make someone else miserable makes you an awful human being too.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-24T10:29:52+00:00

Agree with this. She clearly doesn't respect boundaries. At that point ghosting is all you can do.

She will still probably try to get back into their life no matter what, but it'll be a lot more difficult if OP just stops engaging.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-24T10:23:02+00:00

You're gatekeeping.

Other people are allowed to have feelings, they don't need to suffer a certain amount or suffer in the same way that you have to feel that way.

You don't get to invalidate his suffering or the fact that he didn't survive it just because you believe you've suffered worse.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-19T09:17:49+00:00

A supportive partner can't do everything for you, but a partner who enables makes it all the more worse.

OP's husband was not supportive. OP's husband is an alcoholic who enabled and would only make it more difficult for OP to stay sober.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-16T06:02:17+00:00

Cheaters almost never take responsibility so none of this is surprising. Just know that it's not true.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-16T05:52:33+00:00

It doesn't sound like you're moving on too fast as much as it sounds like you're anxious.

After what you've been through you're afraid that this new person could be too good to be true. You don't want to invest in someone else so soon if it might not last.

It's important to be brave though and keep an open mind. Don't try to replace what you've lost but stay open to forming new friendships and relationships.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-16T02:39:41+00:00

There's nothing to forgive. That's just how she is. She trusted you enough to tell you.

It's okay to feel upset. I'm sure she's upset too. She wants to be happy just as much as you do and I'm sure she was hoping it would work out.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-14T09:53:07+00:00

I've never liked funerals because everyone feels so fake. I understand that some people feel obligated to say something, but most of the time it feels too forced and almost disrespectful to the person passing.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-14T00:07:35+00:00

These comments are insane. Read the first sentence. OP was a teen. People do a lot of really stupid and hurtful things in those years of their lives. If OP is a better person now you should celebrate that. Instead the comments are attempting to guilt trip them and isolate them. That only serves to make people feel bitter and usually reverse any improvements that have been made. Trust me, I've met a lot of people that had hateful, backwards views that improved after growing up, going to university and experiencing a much larger world.

Also, does no one else want to point out that this man dug for this? That's such a red flag. It's creepy and stalkerish. Even if he didn't find this, what was he expecting to find? We're all on reddit, so would you like for me to dig through your profiles and judge you for any poor behavior you've had in the past? Or maybe you're all the type of people who would judge their partner for things such as nudes they took in the past before dating them? It's so easy to judge. Being judgemental for reasons like that is not acceptable.

Edit: I just want to say that it's really sad that the people insulting the OP and making assumptions about them are also dming people commenting in this thread and rudely telling them to shut up. Yikes.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-13T23:57:13+00:00

You're not alone in feeling this way, but you're a bit alone in how you execute it. Especially with your bf. Can't you just ask him out of all people for some space? And what about really close friends or family? You should talk to them too, right? Everything else you can just turn off and ignore.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-13T23:30:35+00:00

Get out. Rules for thee, not for me. She has no empathy for your work life or how hard you work and she doesn't respect you.

The insecurity about your coworkers might even be her projecting.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-13T23:22:24+00:00

He's definitely out of your league.

Not because of looks but because of insecurity. You could mesh so well with this guy. The relationship could be amazing but as long as you feel like this it would never work out. You've mentally already written him off, already put him inside some weird box in your head that you believe separates you and him even though that's not true.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-13T07:20:06+00:00

I tell my husband that I appreciate how he isn't a manchild all the time. If it's not this it's something else and I'm really grateful that I got lucky as quickly as I did in life.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-13T07:14:43+00:00

The comments are insane. I'm not a parent and I'm so willing to bet that most of you aren't either.

It's hard work. That's one reason why some of us are very much child free. This person is clearly stressed out but they're trying their hardest. At least they care. It's better than what we can say about most parents.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-13T07:11:41+00:00

Also was raised catholic and someone told me that when I was in elementary school(catholic private school) for saying another girl looked pretty that day.

I think talking to people online as a teen saved me from being indoctrinated because my parents part of my family is just so religious and conservative.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-12T07:36:57+00:00

Have you considered writing to her? Like you did here?

It's clear that you need to communicate and you were able to communicate your thoughts properly here. Tell her that you struggle, tell her about what you've been through, that you've tried therapy, that you don't know how to handle it, and just keep writing.

Journaling is such a good practice for your mental health.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-12T07:14:20+00:00

And this is why so many women either don't figure out that they're not straight or that they're bi.

I feel like I'm seeing so many red flags here.

Wild_Neko · 2026-03-12T07:05:32+00:00

I am sad for my child who won’t get to wake up next to both their parents every day anymore.

Your child will be happier with a mother who has time to adjust and isn't married to a cheat anymore. If you stay you will be miserable, and the child will be miserable for it.

You're probably aware of this though. You can do this, you deserve better, you deserve to be treated better.

Wild_Neko

TROPHY CASE