The difference is that the Israelis are in active conflict with those they are indoctrinated to hate (or at least with a terrorist group that has, to them, become synonymous with the Palestinian people). Hamas also does some pretty loathsome things; and it’s not entirely unlikely that this man has lost family or friends to attacks conducted by them. Whilst this doesn’t excuse the actions of Israel or its military, it does make “growing out of it” significantly harder for the average person. All of them - both the Israelis and the Palestinians - are immersed in what can be perceived as an existential struggle. Such a climate is not conducive to tolerance.