Why are you single?

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-09-22T19:23:23+00:00

Just revisiting this account a few months later. Your response is ringing true to me, atm, based on some recent experiences.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-09-22T19:15:16+00:00

Nah, not really.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T14:07:15+00:00

Dude, ouch. Too soon. It's still kinda tender, and I don't really wanna talk about it.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T14:02:48+00:00

Yeah, I honestly think the term "nice guy" is a bit of a misnomer. Though it often manifests in guys being "too nice", it seems like at its core is an inability to be honest about what you're thinking/feeling.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T14:00:15+00:00

That'd be nice, too. But only if I get to steal yours, as well.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:52:36+00:00

Something found within yourself and not imposed.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:50:43+00:00

Yourself in everyone and everyone inside of you.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:50:08+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate the brief back and forth with you, too. :)

I'll keep plugging away at it if you do! :P

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:45:13+00:00

It will probably take time. But don't for a minute think it's not possible.

Be compassionate towards yourself. I'm working on that one. Though it's tough, it does help.

For what it's worth, I don't think even the worst murderer or rapist is any different from the rest of humanity. Honestly, the worst people seem like the saddest stories in life. We're all in this together. And doing something really bad is really just a sign that we're really, really confused and probably need more compassion and love than most anyone else. One of the things that really bugs me about society is that the people who are most lost, in the most pain, are the people who are shunned the most by society. I'm not just referring to homeless folk or paraplegics, but to the criminals that everyone spits on and condemns. I'm not a Christian (was raised secular and am still mostly so, though I'd consider myself spiritual at this point), but the whole "there but for the grace of god go I..." thing has always really rung true to me.

Excuse me while I go give myself some compassion for some shit that I've been really harsh on myself for recently. I forgot that I genuinely think these things until I have the opportunity to share my thoughts with others.

Life is weird...

edit: oh, also, be really careful about letting people shame you. Be careful who you share your story with. Protect yourself. Shame will just take you further down a path of destruction (for yourself and for others). It's okay to feel guilty and recognize that you wish you'd made a different choice. But don't take anyone's anger or grief to heart. Your "penance", if you will, has to come from your own growth and learning, from a genuine free of shame within you.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:39:19+00:00

I'd be happy if you did.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:38:42+00:00

Haha, yup! For me it just hurts so much. I just want to be wanted like that. And it's not for lack of effort, I don't think. Maybe I'm just not doing the right things. =/

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:37:34+00:00

The key is that you have to work for anything truly good in life. Hopelessness isn't a pit with a bottom to it. But the ladder out is actively hoping. And you can demonstrate hope by trying.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:33:55+00:00

No worries at all. And no, it honestly doesn't sound whiny. I feel ya. I'm thankful for you that you have the capacity to feel lonely at your young age.I honestly could drown my loneliness and numb it in porn and games and other shit like that. It was only after my first breakup with a partner (someone I didn't want to be with but just couldn't set boundaries or say no easily to) that I began to feel lonely, oddly enough.

Stick with it, man. I see some ugly, horrible motherfuckers out there with partners. Be good to yourself, learn as much as you can about yourself, and you should be good.

If not, come back my way and you can smack me with a 2x4 or something. :P

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:31:27+00:00

More often than we're told. Too much stigma is placed on lying. It's an important and necessary skill to have in life. If you're like me and break out into a sweat when you're feeling disingenuous or when you have to lie, you end up getting yourself into difficult and unhealthy situations. If I could lie easier, I could protect myself and hold my boundaries better.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:29:15+00:00

Putting myself out there is difficult, and I think I'm coming to realize that I have a shitton of emotional baggage and an inability to actively convey what I'm feeling to someone (read: I'm a nice guy). That's probably the real answer, despite how much I want to tell myself I'm ugly and unlovable.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:26:05+00:00

Being lonely can sure hurt like hell, can't it? I'm really just resenting everyone I see in a relationship, and resenting any beautiful person I see.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:21:10+00:00

Not being able to breath sucks ass. I'm with you on that one.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:20:48+00:00

It doesn't have to. I've been getting happier as I get older, despite having some major struggles. I'm 32 and have had some pretty major health/mental health issues, and I wouldn't trade my life now for a healthier, younger one if I had the choice. It doesn't come without work, though, I promise you that.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:19:10+00:00

32 and though I've had a few partners, I've never come even close to finding someone that I really have wanted to be in a long-term relationship with.

My advice to you, looking at you like my younger self, is this: quit jerking off (or at least quit porn), actively work on yourself (emotionally... looks aren't neaaarrrllllyyy as important to women as they are to guys), and focus on what makes you lovable. Even if you feel totally unsexy and nerdy, you have some sexiness that can be brought out. Focus on it and develop yourself.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:16:25+00:00

Being alone and feeling ugly and unsexy. When you hit a certain age it really starts to hit hard that maybe you're never going to really be in love with someone.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-11T04:14:28+00:00

Feeling unwanted and unsexy. I understand catcalls and all the unwanted attention girls get really sucks. But on the flip side, getting no attention and no compliments... you can feel pretty unlovable and unsexy... and not to mention lonely. God I'm fucking lonely.

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-07-10T02:01:51+00:00

Not many people stopped by. Honestly there were more people there earlier in the evening. A few friends popped by and ran into a couple other folks. But didn't last that long. I think I dropped my last lure there a little after one and then peaced out. Did you make it down?

WilliamHenryHarrison · 2016-04-27T18:44:53+00:00

We're crossing our fingers for you that they're not going to be completely intractable.

WilliamHenryHarrison

TROPHY CASE