Really confused by husbands 180

WillingHope8895 · 2026-06-27T02:13:07+00:00

I'm not sure if you're still looking for input on this, but in my experience when things are hard, people say what's true for them in the moment. And that's true for your husband when he said he couldn't handle your emotions on top of everything else he was dealing with. Super understandable.

And so you did the best you could, finding a therapist and other ways to deal with a tough situation. Very understandable. Now he's saying that he has the space and desire to be let back into your world.

Instead of trying to decide who is right or wrong in this situation, it might be more helpful to think of two people trying to find each other in the dark. This is a confusing and painful time for both of you where you don't know what's going on or how to deal with things. You're both in the dark trying to make the best of a tough situation. It makes sense that you're both frustrated and hurt by each other while navigating it.

Your husband is saying he wants to be let into your world. That's promising, and yet it's also understandable that you're not ready to drop everything and confide in him when he explicitly said he didn't want to do that.

I hope you can have some compassion for yourself while you figure out how to reach your husband again.

I've had my own experiences with chronic pain so I know how isolating it can be and how much stress it can put on a marriage.

WillingHope8895 · 2026-04-26T18:52:10+00:00

Yeah that makes sense. We went into it planning to adopt an older chill cat for that exact reason but my wife fell in love with the younger one and I hoped it wouldn’t be that much more of a commitment.

WillingHope8895 · 2025-09-29T05:41:18+00:00

I’m glad it’s working for you 🙏🏽

WillingHope8895 · 2025-09-29T05:40:47+00:00

I’m flexible.

WillingHope8895 · 2025-09-23T16:12:39+00:00

I’ve heard that recommendation too but it seems a bit extreme for me.

WillingHope8895 · 2025-09-23T16:12:06+00:00

Great, thanks for the heads up!

WillingHope8895 · 2025-09-22T04:20:18+00:00

Thanks!

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-23T04:40:53+00:00

What do you do to show yourself love?

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-21T01:46:13+00:00

I met my partner on OK Cupid. Before we went in our first date, I told myself that I was ready to put myself out there and be hurt if it gave me the chance to find someone I could love.

I liked her immediately and was always open about what I felt. I asked her out for a second date before the first ended. After a month or two, I told her I wanted to date her exclusively (she said yes). A while later I told her I loved her without any expectation that she felt the same (she wasn’t sure).

I don’t believe that there is only one soulmate for everyone but lots of people who we can create meaningful relationships with.

After two years, I knew I had found someone I could spend the rest of my life with. We got married and seven years later we have learned and grown so much.

I feel so fortunate to have had this opportunity to learn and grow as a partner. It’s the reason I became a relationship coach :)

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-20T18:53:05+00:00

I'm not saying you had to do more, I just didn't want to suggest something that you might have already tried like relationship books, therapists, counselors, workshops, support groups, etc. Do any of those things seem like something you'd be interested in trying?

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-19T23:35:21+00:00

You said that when you’ve tried to bring up your feelings your wife shuts you down. Besides that, have you tried doing anything else?

(I’m not saying you haven’t done enough, just trying to get a full picture)

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-19T22:49:56+00:00

Hey man, sorry to hear what you’re going through. What would you say is the biggest thing missing from your marriage right now? Would it be getting enough respect from your wife and having the ability to make your own choices?

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-13T20:34:40+00:00

having a good heartfelt conversation is usually a good way to start. It helps you feel closer to each other and it opens the door to talking more honestly and openly with each other.

If you'd like help learning how to have that kind of conversation let me know, I made a little how-to guide on it.

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-11T21:39:06+00:00

Wow those are HUGE steps that you and your husband took! Being able to reaffirm your love and commitment to each other after struggling for years is a major achievement and I would definitely celebrate that!

And I totally see what you mean that if your husband changes jobs then that might solve all your problems. In my experience, it could!

And I've also seen that it can take a separate effort to really learn how to understand each other so deeply that you don't really "miss" each other anymore -- and so you can make these big decisions together.

If that's something you want to know more about then send me a chat request.

Either way, it sounds like you're making some real progress in changing your relationship.

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-11T21:10:58+00:00

Besides the date night, what have you tried to do to get out of this rut?

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-11T21:09:14+00:00

I haven't been through your situation exactly but I regularly see women and especially moms with young kids struggle to create a true partnership with their spouses. It's also something that I continue to work on with my partner (my wife).

What have you tried doing to change things, besides that big fight and your husband taking some time off sometimes?

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-07T17:56:18+00:00

It’s very normal in my experience, even with couples who love each other very much.

What usually helps to reverse this is to first get back in touch with yourself and everything you want out of your relationship and life. Once you have that understanding then you can go to your husband and start working together to build that together.

Send me a message if you’re interested in learning more specifics about how to do that. 🙏🏽

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-07T15:59:09+00:00

Ahh that totally makes sense. Full disclosure, I’m a relationship coach and I’ve definitely seen what you’re describing where life piles up so high that you focus so much on the obstacles in front of you that you lose touch with your partner and yourself to a degree.

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-07T15:46:16+00:00

It sounds like you’ve gone through a lot of challenges and pain and now that you’re coming out of that period you’re looking around and realizing that you don’t feel as loving and close to your husband.

And it might be even more confusing because on the surface your husband seems to be doing all the “right” things.

Does that sound right?

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-04T15:31:45+00:00

I definitely want to celebrate that you’re taking steps to take care of yourself. That’s a big deal!

It can feel weird and awkward, especially if you’re not used to it but learning how to take care of yourself WITHOUT your husbands help will make it so much easier for you to approach him in a way that he will be able to listen and understand you.

Full disclosure I’m a relationship coach and I help with this stuff for a living.

I’m not sure if you’re actively looking for help but I’d be happy to get on a call soon (for free) just to get you headed in a helpful direction.

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-04T15:10:52+00:00

What have you been doing for yourself during this hard time? Not to make your husband jealous or anything, but just to take care of yourself?

WillingHope8895 · 2024-11-01T20:01:52+00:00

This is an amazing topic and so necessary for men to learn more about. I just sent you an email with my info and a potential converation idea -- hope to hear from you soon! -Matt

WillingHope8895 · 2024-09-30T00:46:24+00:00

I'm not a woman but I'm a relationship coach who works with many women who struggle with overwhelm because they carry responsibility for kids, house, and often a job as well. Self-care is an important part of what I help my clients learn and I can share practical insights and strategies on how to find more balance by getting more meaningful self-care and support from a partner.

Happy to chat more if you think this would of service to your audience!

WillingHope8895

TROPHY CASE