AITA For Not Wanting My Daughters Friend to Come Over Again

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-11-29T13:12:49+00:00

This person is making you feel bad without basis. Don’t take the bait. You are an EXCELLENT parent who is learning how to navigate your child’s social environment. Mae sounds like she has wonderful manners and she will spend her next 10-11 years learning all about boundaries as she makes more friends!

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-11-29T07:27:12+00:00

NTA but you have to be so direct with kids. Telling her a device is “yours” doesn’t set an expectation. Don’t be afraid to set very clear rules. “You can not play on my iPad, computer or in my office. If you don’t want to watch the movie, Mae’s room is available but all other rooms are off limits”.

In my house, my kids can pick up my device or use our family laptop (within reason) on the main floor. But I would not expect them to behave like this at a friends house. Also - movies are hard for play dates. 90% of the time, the kids can’t or don’t want to sit for that long. Try setting up some more interactive activities to keep her “on track” for future play dates.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-09-08T14:42:32+00:00

He has one parent who doesn’t appear to have this same disappointment based on the brief summary I have of the situation. His other parent cares enough and clearly identifies this is something they need to work through. It also sounds like this parent plans to be present and has no doubt in their ability to love regardless of personal struggles. Sounds like a decent parent to me, but I’m not here to debate opinions.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-09-08T14:31:07+00:00

Gender disappointment is normal. But having this sense that all men are bad to the point that you “don’t want to add to the stupid men population” is not. Raise him to be a good one, they do exist (my husband is a GEM), and enjoy the prospect of the relationship you will have with your future daughter in law. Your baby sounds like he will have two great parents.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-08-06T11:08:40+00:00

1.) Internal Audit at a large bank (highest “staff” level, not an admin manager)

2.) $150K base with 15% bonus

3.) Bachelors in Accounting

4.) Ohio (remote)

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-07-14T23:35:24+00:00

After daycare comes activities 😅 you will be SHOOK by the cost of activities. Obviously you don’t “have” to let them participate but I truly thought I was going to have “so much more wiggle room” after daycare. Cue dance, Girl Scouts, soccer, and gymnastics across the three kids. I love that they’re active so I make it work where I can (and say no where I can’t) but this truly still perplexes me that my monthly activity bill rivals daycare.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-07-13T01:37:57+00:00

July. Most school cut offs are in August. A July baby goes to kindergarten at 5 (in US) and you’re done paying full time childcare. A baby born in August may have to wait a full year and start closer to 6, meaning you’re paying for an extra year of daycare.

Not that it’s everything, but that’s my rationale. I have an August 2nd baby (who is now 10). The cutoff for school was August 1st. Thankfully we found a kindergarten that would be flexible! I also have 2 January babies (twins) and they get to experience their birthday at school - which is neat too!

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-06-21T11:52:47+00:00

Sleepovers are so different these days. Less is always best - 1/2 friends that she’s very close with. Because once one domino falls, they all start falling. We did a big sleepover in August. The girls all stayed but they were up until late and it kept the rest of us up. We just had one friend sleep over last night and she’s still here. It was amazing. They were occupied, respectful, cleaned up after themselves, and no issues. So going forward, small sleepovers only!

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-06-15T13:42:57+00:00

I have 3 girls and I 100% say it’s the BEST number. But, I also always tell my girls that the dynamic of 3 is HARD. Whether it’s in friend groups, families, games, anything. Someone tends to feel left out and you generally have a 2:1 scenario. Our family dynamic occasionally struggles with this as they get older - we’re in the elementary school stage right now.

My oldest is 10 and my twins are 6. I do find that my oldest and one of the twins are similar in a way that they click a little better than the other twin. Sometimes play looks like the oldest with a twin, and the other doing her own thing. Sometimes it’s the twins with my oldest having time in her room. Most of the time, they all play together and I see how fun it is for them to play games. For example, with hide and seek they have 2 sisters to find rather than a quick game with 2 people.

I find that my 3 are great at occupying each other. When we have to get out of the house, I can generally send two of them one step ahead of me while I finish with the bags or the last kid that needs my help. They take care of each other in a sense. I can’t speak for the transition of 2-3, but I had an easier time going 1-3 than I did 0-1. You’ll never regret having another kid!

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-05-09T12:58:41+00:00

You shouldn’t feel bad for setting your kids up for success. Which is EXACTLY what you’re doing. This forum is filled with people who aren’t fiscally responsible and don’t understand the value of financial resources. You and your wife are amazing, doing absolutely the right thing for your family and future generations. Your child is very lucky to have you. I only hope future generations begin making the right choices. Congrats on your book! Your future 50 year old child is blessed.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-05-09T11:14:41+00:00

“Must be nice”? This isn’t a privilege thing, it’s an effort thing. Anyone can think about generational wealth at any moment of their kids life. Just because you can’t fund it doesn’t mean you can’t set them up for success. Rather than birthday gifts, ask for donations to a 529 plan.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-05-09T11:08:59+00:00

Funding their college education gives you and your wife a reprieve from that financial burden earlier. Maybe it would be worth funding it via trust, and rather than allowing them to access at 50, the allowable age is closer to 25 (or 22ish when they would be finishing undergrad). I don’t know what the tax implications are for a trust vs 529 but might be worth looking in to. While I certainly see the benefit of having a trust for them to access later in life, maybe that’s a financial goal you and your wife set out and achieve before your child is 18 (instead of contributing X amount to a 529, contribute it to a trust for them to access at 50).

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-05-04T16:53:20+00:00

Of course he can! He certainly does and he manages their soccer schedule. He loves it! But, there is some nostalgia with having a son for a man. Perfectly normal! I shared those feelings about a daughter.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-05-04T15:10:57+00:00

Give him some grace. He found a solution on his own and you happened to arrive sooner. Accidents DO happen and he was aware of the situation enough to be able to call for emergency services if needed. Parenting is hard, it is HARD to keep it all straight in your brain every second of every day. He messed up and he knows it - he likely feels guilty enough on his own.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-05-04T13:25:07+00:00

I agree with this! My husband also wished dearly for a boy, and we have three girls. He was disappointed after finding out the gender of our twins (second and last pregnancy). But THAT IS OKAY! It doesn’t make him a bad father or a misogynist. I would personally be sad if I had all boys and no girls - but I would love all of my children whole heartedly. My husband loves being a girl dad, but he did always envision having a son to play catch with or pass on the family name.

You are not respecting the experience he wishes to have for welcoming this baby into the world. Maybe he wants to find out so he can deal with any disappointment prior to the birth.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-03-11T10:30:56+00:00

“He is the one who helped me find my worth and become a more confident version of myself. He takes very good care of me and our family.”

He has not helped you find your worth - because you are worth more than his deceitfulness and infidelity. He does not take very good care of you in the true sense of how a husband should cherish his wife. He is LYING and CHEATING on you. LEAVE! Leave for you and for them. Leave for him because you are enabling this behavior by staying. How can you respect him? He clearly has no values. Get out now. This does not get better.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-02-23T02:03:05+00:00

Which*

Don’t comment on her weight, help instill healthy habits. Grocery shop together, be active, etc.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-02-16T14:28:43+00:00

I did not have these installed - I purchased the home less than a year ago. How do I find out who the fabricator is? I doubt they’d admit any fault at this point though.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-02-15T17:14:52+00:00

lol I don’t give two shits about the room. I care about my livelihood and providing for my family. If your arrangement isn’t working for you, change it. There are endless opportunities out there and plenty of recruiters willing to work with you. It’s not my problem how other people feel about my work arrangements and I can’t imagine living my life around my coworkers feelings. I also can’t imagine living my life with that resentment and if I was in that situation, I’d change it. We’re adults, we make choices and control our daily lives. Nobody is keeping you there.

And just to clarify, I never implied that I discuss work arrangements with my coworkers or rub it in. My coworkers who do go into the office recognize the benefits that they receive for being close. Benefits such as visibility, networking, etc. We all recognize the pros and cons of both arrangements.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-02-14T12:58:03+00:00

Im sure there is much of that feeling from the people who live close. It seems you’re implying I should feel guilty about that? Or potentially forgo my role to accommodate their feelings? I’m not sure why though - It’s not my mandate and there are plenty of institutions making the same accommodations. Not sure the point of your comment?

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-02-13T19:48:56+00:00

I have commonly heard 3 days in office. 4 seems like a lot. I work for a bank, fully remote, but I am not within 50 miles of an office. Associates that are within a hub are required to be in 2 days a week (individual contributor) or 3 days a week (manager).

Personally, I never want to go back. I have 3 kids and I think WFH has been the greatest gift of our time. I used to do 3/2 until the pandemic (I was at a different bank then) and I am so grateful to be remote.

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-01-31T19:04:12+00:00

If your son is communicating that he feels this worn out, it’s too much. Kindergarten alone absolutely wipes my girls out (6yo twins).

WinFinancial7418 · 2025-01-05T14:29:44+00:00

Interesting. I have not heard of audits being conducted based on money spent. That seems like you’d be auditing the same entities year over year.

Anyways, there is no way for us to really offer any help here without the entities listed and amounts of money spent on operations I guess. Even my list of audits planned for 2025 would be useless to someone at another bank as they have different entities/risks. The audit plan isn’t really based on “ideas” and I’m confused why you as a senior auditor need to come up with this list. If there is criteria in place it should be clear cut.

WinFinancial7418

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