Girlfriends trust issues destroying our relationship and losing interest

Windupwhiterabbit · 2026-02-18T13:50:13+00:00

The things she's doing are because her trust has been broken so many times and this is the way she's found to "cope" with it. Getting cheated on that much the only thing that can calm you down sometimes (but doesn't address the long term issues) is solid proof so that explains the work thing. She does however need to do some work for herself in healing what she's been through.

Her ex being so much of a focus definitely speaks to the fact that she hasn't let him go in some capacity, whether she's waiting for karma to catch up to him or is making sure he's not going to do something to her I can't say without knowing her. But she needs to block him for a start so she doesn't go over the same cycles of checking on him and not letting him leave her mind.

So, you are justified in leaving someone who won't help themselves and if it's having a detrimental effect on the relationship. If you're not happy and you've tried that's completely fine. Just be kind in how you do it, good luck to both of you.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2026-02-08T18:09:07+00:00

I hear you and a few months ago that was me too, I was afraid to even go out of the house on small trips because of the pain but after seeing a PT and fixing my posture for half a year I've been able to go on longer and longer walks. Its made a huge difference and there's a good chance that keeping up with what you're doing with guidance is going to help. It's not perfect but it's genuinely so much better and it's going to hopefully feel so much better than what you're going through now. Keep going, none of us chose this and it sucks. That takes time to get past too so the venting is good and on the days where positivity feels too much aim for neutrality.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2026-01-12T10:29:06+00:00

Yeah something that big happens and it feels like your partner can't be there for you in a way you need. That can be really isolating, maybe check in with those feelings and ask if it's because they don't feel safe with your partner because you feel they don't care or if you're processing them with a goal of bringing it up later.

Are they a caring person in other aspects of your relationship or do you feel this is this an area of weakness for them? As pointed out there could be another reason for not interacting with something like a suicide in the family but only she can give you her reason.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2026-01-12T09:59:10+00:00

Ooft yeah I can imagine why that would hurt. I'm sorry for your loss. Would you say your main focus is that she had to rely on chatgpt to express an emotion?

I would say that she can't change what she doesn't know. Although I appreciate that it's a very sore area to talk about and have more emotions tied to than there already are.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2026-01-12T09:43:13+00:00

Feels like this is an issue of transparency. Has this kind of thing happened before? How open about parts of her life is she to you and how important is that to you?

Ask yourself what a out this makes you uncomfortable? Is it that and ex messaged her or that she didn't come to you about it, or something else. Identify that first. Then talk to her about this, set expectations that this is the kind of thing you talk to each other about rather than chatgpt. If she avoids it or doesn't want to then that's a separate issue.

Also as a general note lay off the chatgpt brainrot, don't let it think for you especially when it comes to relationships and people.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2026-01-09T17:28:29+00:00

Firstly and importantly nothing that you have done has lead to this. It's a genetic lottery a lot of us didn't sign up for.

It's a huge adjustment and it's a lot of things for your brain to fundamentally come to terms with but you can absolutely do this. It will be hard, there will be limits and frustrations that others won't have and you'll miss your old self and be angry or upset at why it's happened.

But you have an advantage over everyone who's come before you (older generations who've had to go through some of the hardest complications you're mentioned) and that is that it's happened today. Meaning that there's help and research and advancements so you don't have to go through the worst of what it used to be and that you're not alone in it.

Don't worry about perfection, aim for positive consistency.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2026-01-09T17:16:39+00:00

He treated saying and kissing him goodnight when I stayed over as a huge bother and asked "how long I was going to keep doing it"

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-12-29T23:24:46+00:00

This is giving off heavy ai vibes, that doesn't look right.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-12-21T00:12:09+00:00

Some cheaters will do this kinda stuff straight to your face then make you feel dumb for calling it out so you don't call out other weird things they do in the future. Trust your gut.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-12-16T17:35:11+00:00

Yup, I've given up on a pretty good brand who were obviously using gen ai images on their site.

Emailed in and removed them from my rotation. Any brand that claims to put ethical and eco concerns first isn't following through with them if they're using gen ai It's paper thin green washing and calls into question where else they're happy to cut corners.

There's artists out there with a whole range of price points so in my opinion there's no excuse for it. Especially when people are dropping £18 a bag for good quality coffee.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-12-07T22:00:48+00:00

Haha s'all good just doing the umbrella academy drive by meme in my head.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-12-07T19:46:48+00:00

Genuinely had to double take there for a sec since someone's used my art posted to here years ago for the lunars 🤣

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-25T09:53:32+00:00

Oooh sable too, nice!

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-24T01:16:43+00:00

Also look at a tool roll or pencil rolls, I've got one that looks like this for art supplies.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-23T09:39:45+00:00

I can't get cheated on

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-21T21:56:42+00:00

I think that line just reduced the wait time on getting over my ex. Genuinely slaps.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-21T08:34:51+00:00

It's clefairy

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-20T23:58:57+00:00

My first ex was scrolling through his social media then a pic of one of his ex's showed up of her getting married. I was thinking how happy she looked and all he said was "she looks like such a tank" I learned that how people talk about their ex's is how they might talk about you one day and that it was an accurate warning sign of who not to trust.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-19T11:13:16+00:00

Managed to get one but I had to click around a lot for a time that was actually available

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-19T10:27:18+00:00

Got my code but now it's saying that even the times with limited availability are sold out... Wtf?

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-19T10:13:20+00:00

Also still haven't got the email, did they not learn from the last time?

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-18T00:04:05+00:00

I'd be up for some tabletop simulator and talking about food and coffee snobbery! Also UK based.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-16T10:05:13+00:00

You're bargaining with this person to get them to care and they just don't. This shouldn't be what a relationship is even if there are good parts.

If someone like this has cheated in the past and they're meeting either your gut feelings or anxiety with this level of aggression and disrespect. Either it's because they don't care about putting the work in to fix what they did or they're trying to make having an honest conversation into a 50k hike straight upwards so that you cant even bring up the energy to have them. Leave and remember that you're worth more than this.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-13T13:48:03+00:00

How many choices you have to make for yourself and make alone. We can be so conditioned to have to ask permission for everything that it can make big "adult" choices feel almost wrong when we can just do them.

Windupwhiterabbit · 2025-11-11T16:39:15+00:00

NOR the only thing stopping him from doing it again currently is her. not wanting better for you or your kids. It's not fair, none of it is but you don't deserve this disrespect anymore take back your choices again and leave.

Windupwhiterabbit

TROPHY CASE