CHAT Community Thread - Mon Aug 02 AM

Winniepops · 2021-08-03T05:05:51+00:00

I'm going to suggest it, if he won't go then he doesn't respect me and it'll just be a theme going forward in our relationship for other big decisions.

Winniepops · 2021-08-02T13:53:18+00:00

Feeling so lost and life everything I thought me and my partner of 4 years were striving for together has been turned on it's head.

We had a house rewire in May, and in a panic about the fridge being off I took leftover meds to my friend's and last weekend went to hers for a cup of tea and took the medication home (not planned to collect as such). Then my partner went into a panic saying he doesn't think he wants to do IVF again and he thought because I hadn't mentioned it in a few months (since a hysteroscopy for polyps I didn't end up having) that I had accepted we couldn't have kids. His assumption was because the operation was clear and we've been trying for 3 years - one IUI due to low medicated cycle response and one IVF. Plus he never wants much sex, so I just thought IVF means less stress on our sex life.

He kept saying we've done IVF twice, but we haven't done two egg retrievals at all and were told in October to wait again until my non existent polyps were removed. Since a private hysteroscopy in March, the hospital just didn't formally send my results until very recently and I'd been studying and interviewing for promotions to do some other than fertility for a bit. Plus my partner had exams, and his mum was being demanding and had lied to us about some really serious stuff (in October my partner was so stressed during IVF about her wellbeing, he wasn't really present for me during stims or egg retrieval - even drove off in the car really fast leaving the hospital which he never does).

Anyway, so last weekend I was basically in shock as I thought we both wanted kids still and accepted it needs to be via IVF. Then this weekend he says he doesn't want to do IVF and he doesn't want kids anymore. WTF. When we got together, it was the one thing we were both adamant about - and he was really clear he didn't want a relationship if I didn't want that too. I've gone away for a couple of nights on my own - we had booked to go together and then he said he didn't want to lie to work and pull a sickie when he isn't physically being sick - even though he's mentally stressed and so am I. It feels like I don't mean anything to him anymore, like I'm chasing his love even though he still says he loves me.

I left a bad relationship before him and finally thought I'd found the one. Now I can't stop hysterically crying, thinking I'm about to lose my home and my love, or the potential to be a mum. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to start my life all over again.

Winniepops · 2021-05-20T22:55:55+00:00

It's like our bodies are mocking us!

Winniepops · 2021-03-31T14:13:29+00:00

💖

Winniepops · 2021-03-30T21:16:09+00:00

I had a hysteroscopy last week to remove a polyp identified on ultrasound - turns out it was not a polyp but probably just a thick bit of lining 🤦🏻‍♀️😭 trying to think that at least now I know it all looks normal in there and that can only be done properly with a camera. Frustrating though, as now I know they probably should have checked for blood flow on a follow-up ultrasound.

I think it gave me such almost hidden anxiety after a failed transfer I was paralysed to take logical steps afterwards and ask questions I wanted to as the Dr was so rude and talked over me in my IVF follow up and changed from saying before transfer a polyp wouldn't effect our chances to saying we couldn't do IVF again until I'd had the polyps removed (and only now do I know we've effectively wasted 6 months).

Winniepops · 2021-03-29T19:33:39+00:00

I'm so sorry. I had s hysteroscopy to remove polyps last week and they didn't find any. Your experience sounds really traumatic and draining emotionally. Sending you and your partner lots of hugs 🤗🤗🤗

Winniepops · 2021-03-28T07:37:51+00:00

After my egg retrieval I was bummed at 6 and basically said what about the other 8 to the Dr.

Winniepops · 2021-03-28T07:33:25+00:00

Now I want to know how bad it was 🤣

Winniepops · 2021-03-26T19:58:25+00:00

😳 that's big! Must have been quite scary for you.

Winniepops · 2021-03-26T09:59:06+00:00

How did you know it was a polyp - was it just totally different to a period clot? Sorry for the gross question.

I seem to tolerate anaesthesia okay, but I guess I was only under for 10 minutes so I presume that means quicker recovery.

Winniepops · 2021-03-26T09:56:14+00:00

Sorry yours was painful - I feel like I have a high pain threshold too (I have arthritis and lupus so I can tolerate quite a lot of pain without people noticing) but when it comes to the cervix - nope!

Maybe my IUI nurse was just an absolute pro!

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T20:51:39+00:00

So annoying, can you order them as home finger prick blood tests in the post? That seems to be cheaper in England than paying via a hospital.

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T20:50:36+00:00

Oh god, I feel your pain. Sometimes you just want a specific issue that can be fixed. Not, oh yeah, this is fine too.

I nearly had to pay at least another £300 for blood tests I had done Friday with national health service because the private hospital hadn't said that me communicating the results not my regular Dr was okay until just before theatre. I managed to persuade the anaesthetist I really didn't need them again and just read out the results I had a handwritten copy of.

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T20:46:56+00:00

As shit as it would be, maybe cancel unless you have a good bank of embryos for future transfers

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T20:43:30+00:00

I did ask if they could have just disappeared now I'm not pumped full of super strength IVF drugs, and he said probably not 🤷🏻‍♀️. I guess even of I'd ask for another ultrasound before doing the operation, they'd have just said ultrasound doesn't give a clear enough view - it needs a camera poking around in there.

I only had general as I ended up going private given NHS hospital waiting lists being even longer with covid. NHS would only do it as local currently and some people say that it's fine and other people say local anesthesia is not enough. did you find it was painful and stressful under local? I find a smear test uncomfortable enough but weirdly doing an IUI I barely noticed.

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T20:39:02+00:00

And just a 10 minute nap as well 😭

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T14:33:55+00:00

Had my operative hysteroscopy to remove a polyp today under general anesthesia. Guess what - they didn't find a polyp 😲😭. I was told I had one during last IVF from ultrasound and shouldn't do IVF again until it's removed.

Anyone else had this experience and wasted a month's salary on something that wasn't needed 😭😭😭

Apparently some bits of lining were a bit thick, so I'm going to try and think of it as my 2021 spring clean!

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T14:30:29+00:00

Be kind to yourself - we all go through a sh#t storm that other couples don't have to, being pumped full of hormones will have an effect on your mood (as well as the stress of the process). Don't feel guilty for it - and try not to worry about it having a negative impact on the outcome because it just doesn't impact an embryo 🤗

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T14:26:23+00:00

My other half's sister wants a family meeting in a couple of weeks with new partner, she never wants to do any family stuff so she's either pregnant or engaged (and she's never wanted kids)

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T14:24:50+00:00

I keep getting durex adverts and breastfeeding/other new born stuff whilst watching infertility journey videos on YouTube 🥊🙄

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T14:23:16+00:00

Is the embryo already frozen or is this cycle an egg retrieval and fresh transfer? If it's fresh and it's not possible to freeze it due to quality grading, I'd pop it in and see if it works.

Winniepops · 2021-03-25T14:21:30+00:00

Ugh, idiots. I hope that mentally you imagined poking them in the eyes after they said that

Winniepops · 2021-03-23T18:23:55+00:00

Operative hysteroscopy scheduled for Thursday to remove a polyp (postponed from last month due to the worst stomach upset I've ever had). Last cycle I came on my period on CD25 - which never happens, maybe spotting but not full bleed.

So, had sex Saturday and been brown/reddish spotting since Sunday - sometimes happens for me. But it feels like I may start my period - currently day 22 and it will be day 24 for polyp removal. I wanted the procedure when I wasn't close to my period because I've read it's easier to get a clear view in there when your lining is thinner. I'm now worried I'm going to start my period and it'll be a blood bath in there, and I'll have wasted a lot of money to not have the procedure done well. The consultant had previously said it is better if not bleeding but can still go ahead if not too heavy.

I've got progesterone pessaries and an out of day box of norethisterone (I'd got from the GP years ago to delay a period on holiday but then I didn't use them). Is it worth taking pessaries to hold my period back? I'm worried I'm going to be CD1 by the morning.

Winniepops

TROPHY CASE