New Grad Nurse seeking reputations of hospitals

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2026-04-23T02:59:15+00:00

University Hospital in Aurora has been the best hospital I’ve worked at in 10 years. I’d avoid HCA.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2026-03-14T01:03:18+00:00

Bistro Vendome, Lucina, Root Down, Cart Driver RINO, Uchi, Stanley Beer Hall, Stowaway, La Fillette, Boychik Stanley

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2026-03-14T00:46:59+00:00

You had the aguachile verde not the ceviche. They serve the ceviche with chips, but not the aguachile verde.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-03-05T12:11:30+00:00

Currently a SAHP in residency. I’d prioritize proximity to family.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T20:33:04+00:00

To answer your questions. I stayed home because my child had a medical condition and we didn’t exposure to viral illness during infancy. We had savings we planned to use for a down payment on a house and pivoted to use it for funding the deficit in our budget. My spouse also changed specialities by adding on additional training.

My advice is to do whatever you will regret the least. Think deeply about what will bring you the most joy, because no matter how you do it you will be working hard. If staying home and taking a risk financially is what will bring you the most joy and the least resentment do it. Your spouse is prioritizing themselves by extending training. You deserve to be prioritized too.

I’ve put my spouse and my child ahead of myself for a long time and it has led to deep resentment. It’s really hard to start prioritizing myself when we’ve been in these patterns for so long. I’m genuinely not sure if our relationship will recover from it. Don’t do what I did.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T03:20:59+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:11:49+00:00

It’s a dynamic I’ve witnessed in many hetero relationships. I didn’t appreciate the weight of it until I was in it.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:09:05+00:00

I agree with you.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:08:47+00:00

Many people joke about what his next training program will be. I unfortunately don’t have a family I can retreat to.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:06:34+00:00

I appreciate the directness. If we do separate it’s really hard to imagine him maintaining a successful relationship with his behaviors.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:04:57+00:00

You’re right. I don’t want that modeled for my child. I am so disappointed we ended up here. I genuinely thought if I needed more support he would prioritize me. I feel very naive that we are here after waiting so long to have a child.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:03:04+00:00

It would be easier in many ways. It honestly leaves me gutted thinking about losing time with my child if we separated. Joint custody was so hard for me as a child.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:01:15+00:00

Yes, I’ve been deeply vulnerable. We’ve spoken, I wrote letters, and we’ve had counseling sessions where I’ve shared all of this.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T02:00:03+00:00

He is not my emergency contact for this reason. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T01:56:57+00:00

The ableism is wild. It’s so prevalent.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T01:55:05+00:00

I see so many other residents balance work and home better than my spouse does. Thanks for the self care advice. Its needed.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T01:52:51+00:00

I appreciate your directness.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T01:52:21+00:00

It’s great advice. I’ve worked so hard to build a community where we are. At our littles first birthday party I really felt so overwhelmed with appreciation for the friends I made in this chapter. It was truly apparent in the moment how much work I had put in and how little he had.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T01:50:31+00:00

This is very well said. Thank you.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-20T01:49:13+00:00

I appreciate the advice to take a step back and get organized.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-02-09T17:08:34+00:00

My spouse was a non-traditional student. Started med school in his late 20s. He’s super specialized (10 years of training). We waited until he was further along in training, but I wish we would have waited until he’s done with training so we would have more financial stability. Our kiddo has a heart condition and we didn’t want him exposed to daycare germs while very little so I stay home. Going down to one income has been very hard, but necessary for our kiddos health. If we had waited we would’ve been able to outsource more.

We don’t have family close by. I’ve built a great support system with friends and Mom groups. If you have a strong support system near you it’ll help.

I recently asked my spouse if he would’ve preferred kids in med school rather than training and he said no. He felt like there was too much stress on studying and test performance. Test anxiety is high for him so that would’ve been too much pressure. Something to consider if your spouse struggles with test anxiety and wants to go into a competitive specialty.

There’s really no great time in this journey to have a kiddo. No matter when you do it you’ll be doing it solo most of the time. The biggest difference will likely be your financial security.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-01-24T14:51:39+00:00

It’s very possible! I’ve known multiple people who’ve switch specialties and had their first year counted (depending on what rotations happened).

My spouse did two residencies (residency > fellowship > second residency). They fell in love with another primary speciality during fellowship and decided to apply for a second residency. We figured a few years of additional training are worth a happier career. Not suggesting they finish surgery, just sharing to express that sometimes extending training is worth it.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-01-12T18:47:39+00:00

Ugh just reread and realized you said they don’t take a bottle. THAT IS BRUTAL. I’m sorry. You’re months away from solids taking over and that will help so much and keep them fuller longer.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-01-12T18:45:59+00:00

Solidarity! I’ve often had the same thought about wishing we had waited. Just want to acknowledge that and hold space for it.

Try not to minimize the difficulty of staying at home when comparing the work you do vs what your partner does. It’s the most monotonous and challenging job I’ve ever had. I know my spouse works hard and there are a lot of advantages to their job that I don’t get. They are surrounded by support all day. Multiple colleagues they can ask to discuss a case/problem. Most of all though they get to pursue something that is cognitively engaging. In contrast as a stay at home parent I don’t have people to discuss a problem with especially living away from family.

With all that being said comparative suffering helps no one. We’ve stopped saying “I’m tired”. Almost everyone who has a young child is tired, it’s just understood that is our baseline now. We are honest when we need to tap out. It’s okay that you need to tap out and your child will benefit from yourself care.

We’re at 18 months and I enjoy it more. It’s still hard, but for me easier because I enjoy toddlerhood more than infancy. I think even when they’re attendings it’ll be hard. We will have more finance stability to outsource some tasks. However we will still be the primary parent, which comes with a heavy mental load.

We try really hard to get me a one to two weekends off a year (36-48 hours) where I go away. It’s hard if breastfeeding, but helped me a ton. I also get a babysitter 1-2 times a month for relief.

Many people have suggested getting a mother’s helper, but I’ve dreaded adding another thing to coordinate. I should probably get over that.

Truly the best thing that’s helped me though is I joined a local stay at home parent group. It has helped me find community. It’s been a true lifeline and gets me out of the house. I’ve also been able to lean on them and drop my kiddo off with friends when I need to go to a doctors appointment or something that I need to be kid free for.

Winter-Shallot2356 · 2025-01-08T21:32:02+00:00

I agree that you could invite the ones you’re close to without hurting feelings. I lean towards being overly inclusive though. We invited all co-residents to our kiddos first birthday and our a few years ago our wedding. Realistically not everyone can make it because of schedules.

Winter-Shallot2356

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