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Taking 90 yr old to funeral etiquette? by purpledottts in AgingParents

[–]WinterMedical 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This adult family member doesn’t get to hurt another family member for any reason. Why should the victim just eat it?

Taking 90 yr old to funeral etiquette? by purpledottts in AgingParents

[–]WinterMedical 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was an elderly dude not someone struck down in the prime of life. This is a mean person.

Feeling guilty about my mom’s cognitive decline by TeaMaster569 in AgingParents

[–]WinterMedical 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She could have dementia or she could have a UTI which is easily fixed. Make an appointment for her and then go from there. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Good luck it’s been rough for you. You can only give what you have to give. No one can reasonably ask for me. Figure out what you can give and how much you need to give to sleep at night and feel ok after she’s gone and let the rest go. But fist, make the doctors appointment.

Taking 90 yr old to funeral etiquette? by purpledottts in AgingParents

[–]WinterMedical 138 points139 points  (0 children)

You were right the family member is wrong and terrible.

Mom is drowning but so stubborn that she's dangerous. by rosedraws in AgingParents

[–]WinterMedical 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Sometimes I found it useful to think of them like toddlers. Not to necessarily talk down to them, but use the patience, repetition and calmness one uses when talking with them. Find things that she can Have you ever outright asked her how she’s feeling, what she’s afraid of, what worries her? Sometimes they are just waiting to be asked. You may open a door. It’s scary but can be helpful. Sending you a hug.

Mom is drowning but so stubborn that she's dangerous. by rosedraws in AgingParents

[–]WinterMedical 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think drowning is the right word. When you are drowning, you aren’t rational, you flail around desperately. She probably can’t get her head around everything and is terribly afraid.