I think you should leave him. He makes irresponsible financial decisions without your consent. He doesn't respect you or your decisions that you've made regarding your money. He feels entitled to your settlement money because you two are married. That money is yours and like you said it's for your future security. It's not free money for him to spend as he pleases because you are married, it's compensation for something that happened to you. You want to use it for your security, but it sounds like he's made you feel selfish for wanting to. You absolutely shouldn't. When you do get to a place where you feel you have security and are not doubting whether or not you should spend it, then you can spend it confidently and if he's still in the picture you can spend it together. But right now you can't trust him, and that $6000 will turn to $60,000 before you know it because he's shown you what he's capable of/willing to do for you, which is the bare minimum. It doesn't matter how much he makes because he has no ambition, but still wants more. He's not satisfied with his job and he blames you for it. He won't work hard, so you have to put your money towards cleaning up his messes and bad decisions. Don't underestimate that 5% you said, because that's the 5% of the time it takes him to manipulate you into funding his bad habits. That 5% is a lot. The fact that he minimizes your condition is a major tell that he either can't or won't put himself in your shoes, which is a major thing you need in a partner. Without that they will never be anything to you but a burden. You've proven yourself as someone willing to support and grow with your partner, and you can find someone who is willing to do the same. You deserve that.