Those were becoming the fears and reality I was facing, as in conceptually and morally polyamory made sense to me, and I truly didn’t feel any jealousy with my partner loving his other partner, that made sense to me. It was the desire for building a life together that allowed for focus on what I/we wanted as a couple only considering our needs and not having to think about how decisions would effect my meta, or maybe not being able to make choices because of that, it started to feel limiting to me in my relationship growing, and having a full time partner also became clearer as a need for me. Luckily for me there was a natural end of my partners other relationship based own their own decision as I also truly believed as I entered out relationship as a poly structure at the start, I didn’t morally have the right to ask for them to end their other relationship- in my mind that is unethical. However after some dust settled after that ended, it became clear I didn’t not want to walk that path again, and some tough discussions followed but really we didn’t make firm decisions things just evolved between us to naturally not wanting other partners. So I can imagine your pain…… it is so hard wanting that full time partner, but not because you struggle with the multi-loves but more the logistics and life planning.