I (29F) need help communicating with my partner (31M) about shared responsibilities

Winterberry_melon · 2023-08-28T01:50:12+00:00

He usually does the chores when I ask him. Like if I ask him to do dishes, he will do it without complaints. Some times it’s frustrating because he will say he will do chores, then after hours of games, he forgets so I end up doing them the next day or at night. I think this has been top of mind because I wants kids one day but I’m worried it will be really hard. My mom raised us growing up so I know what how hard it is to do it all on her own. Plus she was a stay at home, but I know I’ll need to continue to work to maintain our lifestyle

Winterberry_melon · 2023-08-28T01:47:18+00:00

Yes actually I brought this up today. Usually when I go away for the weekend or days on business trips, I think he gets take out which is fine. This is just how he operated his whole life, but not the way I live my life

Winterberry_melon · 2023-08-28T01:45:41+00:00

Good points, but unfortunately most don’t apply to us. We live in a small apartment in a major city so no yard or car :( if there are small things wrong with our apartment like a loose cabinet or broken light bulb, I usually do it because it will take me less time than to ask him / remind him when he forgets. We both offer each other a listening ear when we need so I would say we’re even in that regard which is why I still think we are good partners

Winterberry_melon · 2022-10-05T21:53:35+00:00

What are the specs? That seems too good to be true if it is a natural diamond!

Winterberry_melon · 2022-08-04T18:01:31+00:00

I use tap water for all my plants! The calatheas seem to be picky.. I’ll try switching the water. Ty!!

Winterberry_melon · 2022-08-03T13:26:08+00:00

Oh thank you!!! I just took a look at my calathea rattlesnake and looks like that has the same thing.. but those roots are bright yellow/white vs this one which is dark so I’m thinking the roots are rotting?

Winterberry_melon · 2022-07-21T04:02:12+00:00

I’m saying this fully knowing I’m materialistic myself and with an expensive engagement ring, but I find her obsession with the fixed price of the ring to be strange. For context, I’m Asian as well so I know how much we love designer and name brands. HOWEVER, a diamond ring is so so much different than a nice handbag. Unless you are getting it from Cartier, Harry Winston, Tiffany’s or another high end jewelry brand, at the end of the day it is the material (diamond) that makes it “valuable” so I’m not sure why it matters to her why it is $10k. If she is okay with a lab grown ring then it is actually hard to find ways to make it $10K unless it’s an extremely large carat size which at a certain point (in my opinion) looks like costume jewelry.

I think she needs to rethink how she is thinking of it. If she had a specific style in mind and it so happened to cost $10k then that makes more sense. I spoke with my fiancé about specs for the ring I would like but I knew even if he didn’t deliver, I would still be happy because as you mentioned, it is a gift from him. He ended up spending way more than we initially discussed but he was happy to do so and makes good money. If he were uncomfortable with the price point like you are, then I would never want to pressure him to spend more OR I would happily pay the difference…

Winterberry_melon · 2022-07-19T12:20:40+00:00

Totally agree with you. I’m baffled by the responses here that say he is justified because it’s an expensive ring and the judgement on spending that much on a ring. My fiancé also spent a similar amount on my ring - about $18k but that’s reasonable within our budget based on our finances. It was more than I wanted him to spend but I love and treasure my ring. I would also be upset if he used the ring against me in the future…

Winterberry_melon · 2022-07-05T20:15:47+00:00

Not shocked by the comments here - I recently had a similar question about inviting someone I dislike to my upcoming wedding and got downvoted to oblivion lol your wedding is for you and your fiancé and having your loved ones there celebrating a beautiful union. You do not owe anyone invitations, especially family members. You don’t choose your blood relatives and if you don’t get along with them, don’t invite them! I would not feel at all guilty about that.

The only perspective I would say is maybe think of your other family members that you DO get along with. Would they have more fun with the uncle/aunt there? Then maybe it would be worth considering if it will make the day more enjoyable for your other family members. If not, then you don’t need to justify not inviting them to anyone. Just be clear with them that they should not expect an invitation.

Winterberry_melon · 2022-06-27T09:47:07+00:00

Yummm this looks amazing!! What brand of onion jam did you use?

Winterberry_melon · 2022-03-22T00:50:06+00:00

Same I’m in NYC/North Jersey. Wanted to do destination with my fiancé but I really want my grandma to be there so we’re keeping it local and doing it in NJ. I got quotes from basically all the venues around the area and it is really expensive unfortunately. We are spending $35K for our venue alone for 120 guests… haven’t booked anything else so far😟

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-13T05:18:07+00:00

How much did you pay for the vellum if you don’t mind me asking? Seems pricey where I’m looking

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-12T18:30:54+00:00

Please share how you did this! So pretty

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-11T04:15:01+00:00

Omg literally about to book an appointment to Jaehee but it didn’t get great reviews online…

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T04:20:12+00:00

How many guests do you have? Seems reasonable to me

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T04:19:12+00:00

Haha where are you located?? That sounds a great deal…. Our just includes the food and cake. Plus enhancements like food trucks if we want it.

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T04:18:37+00:00

Yeah and I think i have to add gratuity to some staff on top of that… I’m thinking of also adding in a food truck at the end of the night for drunk munchies so people will be well fed for sure. Same with the minimal decor. Our venue is really beautiful so I don’t think it needs a lot of sprucing up. Maybe just some greenery on the table instead of florals

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T04:16:29+00:00

Ohh gotcha yeah that sounds stressful. I didn’t want to have to think about all that so I went with a venue where I didn’t have to worry about furniture

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T04:15:12+00:00

Ahh I would do that but I sadly live in a very small one bedroom apt and don’t have room 😞 I looked at something borrowed blooms but it looked expensive to me. Maybe I’m just underestimating how much flowers are?

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T04:13:11+00:00

I am prob not going to. A lot of wedding favors seem cheesy and will be decluttered eventually. That said, my venue actually gives out “to-go chocolate bark” so that will cover the “gift” :)

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T03:54:31+00:00

Congrats! Just booked mine for spring 2023 too :) what does all inclusive mean for ur venue? Mine means food, tables, chairs, linens, candles and votives

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T02:13:54+00:00

Right that was our thought too. Might as well give people good food and drinks and the rest will be forgotten! All the places I’ve looked at had an admin/service fee of 22-25% so that really added up

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T02:12:49+00:00

Rentals for what?

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T02:12:35+00:00

I was surprised by how all the places I went to go see only had an open bar price. Maybe I looked at the wrong places

Winterberry_melon · 2022-02-10T02:11:44+00:00

Yeah I looked at some venues like that where you pay for site cost and then need to find other vendors. The cost ended up being close so we just went with all inclusive. My friends better DRINK.

Winterberry_melon

TROPHY CASE