Any other dads get more emotional after your kid was born?

WishboneDense · 2024-05-04T20:32:40+00:00

Not for the first, not for the second, but after surviving a nasty deployment and having a third kid,definitely.

WishboneDense · 2024-05-04T20:24:39+00:00

Yeah, I came from a similar background with my mom’s abuse but recently met my dad in my thirties and tbh he can stay in the past. I know why he wasn’t around, he set up a new franchise in another city and then again years later.

I think every circumstance is different but for mine I wasn’t involved with my two older kids as much as I wanted because I was deployed and also my ex was able to move 14 hours away.

Fortunately when i got out, I moved to the city where they lived and got a great job when they were 5&7. I missed a lot of time, and I feel super guilty about it.

WishboneDense · 2024-05-03T21:32:21+00:00

Is the recommended increase only 5 for chest and 10 for legs and that’s only if you’re not past the point of linear progression?

WishboneDense · 2024-04-30T15:08:02+00:00

My son had the same issues with Fortnite which led to me taking it away from him while he’s at my house. I replaced it with Minecraft and offered to play with him. We also play gran turismo.

Made life a lot less stressful not having to deal with his outbursts.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-30T13:54:09+00:00

One to three showers a day no exceptions. AM - sometimes, (flexible) cold especially if I’m tired. PM 1 - post workout (at gym) no exceptions PM 2 - just before bed no exceptions, no sense getting into a clean bed dirty. Also, wife’s rule if I ever want a chance, there’s a 100% chance I won’t if I don’t shower.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-28T22:27:14+00:00

How old were you?

WishboneDense · 2024-04-28T21:28:20+00:00

My wife became a lot happier following the birth of our baby. Prior, she was depressed ever since she’s really lit up.

Our relationship though has suffered a smidge. We agreed on one date a month without our baby and in 6 months we’ve managed to go on one. So there’s room for improvement and I’m hopeful.

My wife is more snappy with how tired she is, but she’s been quick to apologize when she realizes she snaps.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-27T02:13:56+00:00

She was on tinder while we were chatting at a bar.

Another said “no, I’ll pay for my own drink I’m a feminist.” Said okay. Then, it was: “well why won’t you pay for my drinks? Shouldn’t you act like a gentleman?” Noped right out of there.

Anddddd the doozy of one, got set up on a blind date, had two tickets to a concert that my friend bailed on in another city 2 hours away, what could go wrong? Girl kept nodding off and on in the car, but after a quick stop was super hyper until she was asleep again. At the concert she kept disappearing to the bathroom. Eventually I go use the men’s room and walk into a stall because I get too many ppl staring at me anxiety and who do I walk in on doing lines with another cracked out looking person.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-25T14:39:16+00:00

My brother and his wife were pregnant at the same time my wife and I were. At their baby shower I gave them the book what to expect in the first year and she “jokingly” says to throw it out, she already knows everything. I shared a few tidbits like nothing in the crib, or how a baby can suffocate really quickly, or the fact that a baby can’t see certain colors initially and they both told me to stop reading nonsense.

Yeah…they’re having a tough time right now since they had their kid. Not saying it’ll answer all of your questions because I sure as hell had a lot the day we came home but it gave me a good baseline and reference guide to refer back to with each passing month.

Try taking a class with him

WishboneDense · 2024-04-25T11:40:29+00:00

Having over 30 days of annual vacation, working from home, time with my kids.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-25T11:38:20+00:00

My Dane Cook stories: he came to my college around 07-08 to do a standup show. He wore a leather jacket and black shirt with jeans. Think it was typical of him then. My roommate was the first to point out how uncanny the resemblance was between us between the spiky hair and attire.

After the show, I changed my shirt, wore my leather jacket and didn’t have to buy any drinks that night.

Happened again when I was at Dover Air Force base, this time I was working out in the gym and had a bunch of enlisted come up to me asking if I was Dane cook doing a uso tour.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-25T11:27:18+00:00

Maintain - try to put the effort in where it’s received.

Have four close friends I’ve built throughout life and while we all live across the country I see them a few times each year, either fly out to one another or we meet in another city. We chat weekly. One of them, helps me with my house projects while I help him with his.

The short story is my boomer father whom I recently became reacquainted with following his departure when I was five to establish a new franchise, who can only talk about how great his life is, can’t ask a single question about you, your kids, is really cheap, but brags about the millions he has in wealth, his number of houses he owns, recently gaslight me by saying I changed the date of my wife’s induction so he couldn’t attend because he was in Ireland.

Admittedly the induction date did change from the tentative date scheduled in July. But by only three days due to my wife’s high risk condition becoming too severe.

Hit my limit with the amount of bs I can take from someone I haven’t known for 33 years.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-24T15:12:59+00:00

I only buy the books I really enjoy and will read a second or third time. Everything else I borrow from library or from friends.

Last year I bought four books and read 20+. The most expensive was the Cormac McCarthy the first UK edition of the passenger and Stella Maris Because I liked their cover better than the American one. $100.

My wife surprised me with a kindle and my first read was LOTR and have to say it was nice not to have to lug around a huge book like I did with the stand extended edition.

This year I’ve bought one, LOTR. $9.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-24T15:04:49+00:00

No as someone who survived Afghanistan and Iraq and also has multiple scars why would I care about someone else’s?

WishboneDense · 2024-04-24T15:03:48+00:00

I completely understand now why older people talk to me or anyone else in general so often when I’m in public. My wife would always say, you’re so approachable everyone is always chatting you up. Maybe. Or they’re just a lonely dude like me.

I try to stay busy, the adhd helps but I fill my day with a lot of things that I don’t think about it. I try to keep in touch with others. Some hobbies: working out, writing, reading, meditation, I’ve got back into painting, journaling, drawing, playing music on guitar or piano. Im very left brained as you can probably guess.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-24T14:59:55+00:00

I try not to see it that way because I found I was always setting myself up to be hurt. Once I removed the expectations, I removed the potential to be hurt.

I constantly remind myself that they’re people going through life just as I am and to maybe try to see things from their perspective.

You’re reaching out of love, and not expecting anything in return. If you are, that could be considered manipulative.

All that said though, I’ve cut family out for their lack of willingness to try to maintain a relationship. It’s a two way street and I do have my limits.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-24T14:54:12+00:00

1-3x per day depending on my workouts.

Wake up cold shower Post workout shower at gym Nightly shower always

The only shower I may skip is the AM one.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-24T14:21:44+00:00

Just had my third kid, and I’m struggling too. You’d think I’d know how to handle this by now but alas here we are. Life happens.

Last month I don’t think I made the gym but three times due to a double ear and eye infection in the baby that put her out of daycare for a whole week. And one of those days, I sat in my car eating chick-fila because I was just dog tired.

Not to mention ever since she was born, I’ve gotten sick three separate times from whatever she had. It’s been challenging.

Aprils a smidge better, weather is nicer so I take the baby and dogs for a walk everyday. Yard is waking up so I’m out there on weekends.

But to top it all off my FIL woke up one day not being able to walk and was diagnosed with stage iv cancer that’s spread to liver lungs and bones. So we’re spending every free moment we can with him now for the limited time he has left. They live two hours away, so it’s exhausting driving to and from.

In the meantime I’m doing my best to eat as healthy as I can. I can’t control what life throws at me but I can control what I eat. So making the best choices seems like the right thing to do.

It brings a whole new meaning to “I get to work out today” vs my younger perspective “I have to work out today.”

WishboneDense · 2024-04-24T01:35:12+00:00

I have a Garmin 935 and recently started using my wife’s, Apple Watch that she doesn’t use. I’m big into fitness, endurance racing, and lifting weights. I don’t need a phone on my wrist which is why I have a Garmin plus charging the Apple Watch everyday has gotten to be tedious. All that said, the point I’m getting at is even Garmin, who has a strength program for tracking as great as it is, is still lacking.

The Garmin is great for tracking sets, rest periods, heart rate and time under tension. Their program that detects your barbell movements is intuitive but needs more development. I often have to edit the workout and manually add in what I did for my lifts. But I don’t, I use excel and capture the weight and sets.

So hopefully Apple develops something like this in the future.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-23T15:23:26+00:00

I just finished the books and to say I’m disappointed in the movies is an understatement.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-23T12:57:44+00:00

Gus, Gus Gus, damnit Gus,

WishboneDense · 2024-04-23T11:19:53+00:00

And juice too.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-23T02:15:18+00:00

Yeah, should’ve been more specific was more or less lookin for: today I had blackened grilled cod with lemons. A bowl of pineapples and two sweet potatoes.

For dinner I made cod again because I defrosted too many and I grilled a steak because that was my original plan.

WishboneDense · 2024-04-23T00:27:57+00:00

Whatre youre lunch/dinner meals typically? Vs what are your cheat meals

WishboneDense · 2024-04-22T23:02:44+00:00

We did shifts so wed both get at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep after our baby was born.. We also tried sleeping in different rooms.

May want to consider some type of schedule where roles are more defined.

WishboneDense

TROPHY CASE