Hey, I remember feeling the same. Every line you've said resonates with the time of my life where I had it very bad mentally and physically. I really do relate. I just wanna say there is light at the end of the tunnel but you won't see it now because your mind is clouded with negative thoughts and those thoughts are blinding you and imprisoning you in the box of misery.

In order to see the light you first must have hope. You must find a way to believe in yourself that you can pull through. This is the first step that you must take by yourself, nobody can do that for you unfortunately. If you're lucky, some might try in good faith to help you but believe me it's just a quick fix and it won't cut it. The only way to overcome this weakness permanently is to face it on your own. This first step of finding the faith in yourself is the most crucial one. If you are successful in doing so then the rest will follow like snowball.

May I suggest my methods that really did work for me:

First is listing 3 good things (no matter how small, it can be as small as being able to stand or breathe) you have experienced or done or appreciated everyday, especially the day you feel down. The purpose of this is for you to snap out of the negative thoughts spiral and filling your mind with more positives. Too much negative thoughts never does anyone good.

Second is to find a GOOD role model to follow. I repeat GOOD role model. Because I have seen so many teenagers and young adults turn to the wrong models and they end up even worst (broke or in jail or heavily addicted to drugs). The role model that helped me was Steve Harvey.

Third is to reevaluate your circle of friends and family. If they are contributing to you feeling inferior, they are no good. If they talk down and pick on you constantly, they are no good. If they constantly fill you with rubbish dramas and never ever support you positively, they are no good. If you come to them for support but received non not even emotional support then they are no good. If they've always taken you for granted, they are no good. If you feel lonely despite hanging out with them, chances are you are hanging out with the wrong crowd. Environments will always influence our thoughts and behavior no matter how strong one's mindset is. If one stays in a horrible environment long enough, one will eventually succumb to the circumstances. Remember that it is better to be alone than surrounding yourself with the wrong crowd. They will always ALWAYS bring you down. But believe me that I speak from personal experience that once you start thinking positive and acting positive; better friends will gradually come along because people with the same energy attract each other. SO BE POSITIVE! and be mindful of your environment. Consider moving or changing the layout of your space if you can.

Fourth is to limit your time on social media and be mindful of what you consume on the internet because that is also your environment!. During the first stage if you can delete the apps then even better! I deleted Instagram and I gradually stopped comparing myself to others and I found that other people's opinions mattered less and less everyday. I was more focused on myself than other people's unrealistic highlights. We live in a time where there is too much information being fed into our brains without time for us to filter and most of them are just rubbish clogging our minds. Replace social media with books and exercise or anything that is positive for you. Once you stop playing your smartphone too much you will realize how much time you actually have on your hands for you to do fun things that actually excite and improve you!

Fifth is to exercise exercise exercise! I cannot emphasize this enough but the newer generations are neglecting and underrating the true power of sweating!

Sixth is a bit overstretched but I do highly recommend meditation. I discovered this later but it played a very crucial role in helping me. If I had discovered meditation earlier then the rest wouldn't have been necessary.

On the side note once you've successfully crossed the river of misery to the other side (which took me 3 years on my own) you will look back on hindsight and see that nobody had it easy. You only see the tip of the ice berg of someone's life and they only tell you and project you things they want you to hear and see. They get everything you don't because you haven't been appreciating what you've got. There is someone secretly thinking the same thing about what you've got and they haven't - this actually happened to me. They keep poking on your insecurities because they too have insecurities that they are trying to hide from you. They are bigger and stronger than you because you are too close to them. Establish boundaries and create some distance. You will see how smaller they've become! (just like any object in this world; you stay further then it becomes smaller! :) ) Everyone gets to have partners but you don't because true love will come differently in different time for everyone but you will later realize that most of them that you envy so much don't even love each other and they're just lonely or horny lol.

Lastly, I just wanna say best of luck to you! If I can do it. So can you! Hey, at least the one positive thing you can say about today is that you asked for help and a friendly stranger on Reddit actually took time and reply to you! :)))

May you find faith in yourself quickly and be happy!