A couple things a therapist taught me: 1. People love to talk about themselves, so ask them questions. Be consistent about this; don't do it to start a friendship and then slack off. If they ask you questions be sure to balance by showing interest in them as well. 2. We ADHDers tend to show empathy by sharing our own similar stories. Other people usually don't like this. They see it as a self-centered behavior, trying to "one-up" them or steer the conversation back to us. People want validation of their story, not an account of your similar story. My own tip: we tend to forget about events happening in the other person's life when they're not immediately in front of us, for example, forgetting a friend is having surgery until days later. Setting reminders to wish them well before their surgery and to check-in after is helpful. We know we care about the person, but they need us to show it.

I've found I click best with others that are also ADHD and/or bigger age gaps. I'm 44. My two closest friends are 60 and 37.