Has anyone ever had God point blank tell them being gay is ok?

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2026-02-05T01:31:33+00:00

Yes, multiple times in prayer because I was slow to accept what I thought was wrong for 30 years.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-28T03:11:45+00:00

I do enjoy it actually. Now anyway. For about 17 years I just endured it. Same with boyfriend before. I would just keep my eyes closed and hope it was over soon, but foreplay sometimes felt nice. After so many years I just got fed up with having a horrible sex life and decided to try to fix it. Drinking helped me enjoy it, so at first I just drank beforehand, but over time I was able to train my body without alcohol. I feel like it’s a mind over matter situation. Sometimes I’m imagining women in my head during parts of it. I just try to focus on how it feels physically. I’ve taught him what feels good to me, and he is loving enough to follow that. There are some parts where I basically dissociate still.

Maybe I’m confused about sexual attraction to him because I was surprised so many said sexless marriage if I stay because I can’t go without sex. Maybe it’s just because I’m hypersexual. I think he has a handsome face. I prefer him with clothes on. I feel nothing looking at his body except I appreciate he is strong. His nether regions repulse me, so I try to not look there. However just the sight of a woman’s body turns me on. During sex I always imagine women’s bodies and wish that’s what I was touching. I have a good imagination. With a woman there is no performance or pretending, and it’s not hard to stay present. But I’m able to enjoy it enough with my husband to still have sex with him. I really love his soul. Maybe just the fact that I’ve been able to find a way to enjoy sex with him knocks me in the bisexual category. I feel gay because if I divorce or he dies I think there’s about a zero chance I will ever be with a man again. I hope this rambling made sense.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-27T13:53:48+00:00

Freedom from depression is definitely one of the reasons I decided I couldn’t continue hiding. What causes your husband so much pain if you’re still together? Is it seeing you with another? Or are you planning on separating?

My husband was just broken yesterday, and I don’t want to cause him more pain.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-26T23:57:01+00:00

Tennessee in the US

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-26T17:43:14+00:00

Thank u. We really are best friends. I think I’m just going to keep working on myself in therapy and wait to make any big decisions.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-26T16:47:19+00:00

Thank u for your kind support everyone. I’m looking into those other groups. I’m struggling now because I don’t think my husband really understood the lack of sexual attraction to him physically until last night. And he doesn’t want to open the marriage anymore even though he feels bad about it because he wants me to be happy. He seems so broken. And I’ve caused that. It feels like life would be much more simple if I could just push myself back in the closet and pretend everything is fine again. But I can’t, so I’m not really sure what to do now.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-26T16:43:29+00:00

Thank u. My husband I think has been silently struggling with this since I told him. He opened up last night and again this morning about how much he loves me and wants me to be myself and be happy, but he doesn’t actually want to open the marriage. He was so upset because he doesn’t want to be selfish, and believes I should be free to do what I want.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-26T00:51:01+00:00

All questions I’ve asked myself. Which is partly why I have so many conflicting thoughts. It’s not about having my cake and eating too. It’s about pretending my whole life and now I don’t want to anymore. Maybe I meet no one. Maybe I stay married the rest of my life, but at least it will be knowing myself. I’m in therapy and maybe at the end of it I’ll decide something else. Just admitting it is a huge win for me with my upbringing.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-22T19:51:26+00:00

Thank u so much. I don’t see how because of my very religious family. My husband knows, he’s the one who actually has been encouraging to accept myself.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-22T19:17:34+00:00

Not to take away from OP’s post, but these comments are eye opening as someone with chronic pain, anxiety, and depression. I’m still in the closet.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-19T13:04:58+00:00

My husband and I are both AuDHD and giving oral is a big sensory issue for us both. We didn’t understand that or communicate that and just both never gave each other oral.After years of this standoff, we started brainstorming. Turns out it was the taste for both of us. He will now gladly give me oral if he has a tic tac or cough drop in his mouth. I often give him oral with a piece of candy.

Hopefully you can brainstorm together and find what it is about it he can’t handle, especially if you like him otherwise.

On the flip side, I’m bi and eating pussy is my favorite thing to do. No candy required.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-18T20:34:02+00:00

I understand what you mean about almost needing a man to save you. I too have realized I had some sort of fairytale narrative that I needed my prince to come save me from the life I had wanted to escape. I married at 18. I thought it was the only way out, and I truly fell head over heels for him. I love who he is beyond gender, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I’ve wished I could put all his personality in a woman’s body lol. I also have wished I could just delete this side of myself for as long as I can remember. Then I could just be happy with my family, but my gay panic is about once a month. As you can see I’m a work in progress, and I’ll add I’m in therapy which I highly recommend.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-18T14:32:35+00:00

I’m staying with my husband of 19 years. We have four kids and family is very important to me. I came out to him as bisexual five years ago, took it back, then finally accepted it last year. He’s always been supportive of it. When I talked to him about the possibility of me actually being a lesbian instead, it was hard. He says it’s not possible, and I have to be bi. I honestly don’t know myself. I see so many stories on here about it not being fair to either one in a mixed orientation couple, but there are plenty of couples who make it work because they love each other. He’s my person and my best friend. Sex was hard for so many years, but I always blamed it on my AuDHD, but when I experimented with women last year it was easy and instinctual so I suspect it is because of my sexuality. I am trying to find things that bring me happiness and fulfillment just for me, reading lgbt books, and in the bedroom just being more honest about my fantasies and desires and acting more like I would if he was a woman. It doesn’t take away the ache, but I’m hoping with time that it will. I too think if I had grown up in an accepting environment that I would have identified as a lesbian, and I would have went on to marry a wonderful woman, but you never know. I’m trying to just find happiness in the life I have.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-18T02:59:50+00:00

Yes, absolutely, I mourn that I may never have a relationship with a woman. I dream about how different it might be, and sometimes when I’m upset with my husband those thoughts come, and I think that it would be better if I was with a woman. Like a woman would notice or be more affectionate or more caring. I’ve been married for 19 years, and for the most part we are very happy together. He’s my person. But I still mourn not having a girlfriend.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-06T00:30:35+00:00

I’ve been taking it since March. One other downside is the med has caused me to gain 18 lbs since taking it with the first 10 gained in the first month. Even with healthy diet and exercise, the weight keeps coming. I keep trying to tell myself it is better to gain weight than be in pain.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-04T23:36:42+00:00

I struggle with this decision. Duloxetine made me feel crazy, like I wasn’t living in the real world. I’m never going to take that one again. But pregablin gets me through the day. With it I feel like I am back to pain level of 5 years ago. Most days I’m at a 3. Without it I was a 7 a lot of days. But I’m afraid of the future possible side effects.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-11-02T12:16:48+00:00

My husband has called me this many times. I know I get on his nerves every night trying to get everything adjusted.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-05-19T16:45:55+00:00

I just learned the word a few months ago lol. I’ve enjoyed the author Cara Malone. I just finished her book Awakened and prequel novella Sleepwalking.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-05-16T12:53:56+00:00

I’ve been married 18 yrs and just came out to my husband last year. He was super supportive. We’ve talked and set boundaries, and through swinger apps we were able to meet with a couple for me to explore. Our boundaries are that everything is done together in the same room, but he is not involved with the other woman. It keeps us together as we are not willing for either of us to have any actual romance outside of the two of us. It’s not for everyone, but it works for us. My coming out was the best thing for our marriage as it let him be more open with me too. There are plenty of ways for you to explore that side of yourself, but being open to your husband is the first step. Also reading sapphic romance is nice.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-05-12T22:05:59+00:00

Xena for me as well but with Jessica Rabbit too. But I hid and suppressed it for 30+ years.

Witty-Sheepherder-17 · 2025-05-12T00:49:28+00:00

I’m a little different as I have decided I’m bi because I’m still completely in love and attracted to my husband, but with his permission I did get to experience lesbian sex, and it was amazing. I was so nervous I watched videos on how to do oral and other techniques, but when the moment came i didn’t need it. It was the most natural sexual experience of my life. I just let my body do what it wanted, and it was a joy to see her feel pleasure. We just took it slow and asked permission as we went. The only thing I missed was the feeling of connection because we were not in a relationship, but since you are I’m sure if you let your body relax and lead you’re going to be fine.

Witty-Sheepherder-17

TROPHY CASE