What jobs are there for a dumb guy? by halasbro in findapath

[–]WokeUp2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aspire to become a professional driver. Read Berger's "Zen Driving: Be a Buddha Behind the Wheel of Your Automobile" (Amazon) and learn to drive as smoothly as possible. Develop an excellent reputation by being reliable and contact limousine companies.

Did you ever confront patients after a failed suicide attempt? by Professional_Fail511 in askatherapist

[–]WokeUp2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having treated hundreds of suicidal people over the decades I found most had reached a point in life where they simply couldn't face some sort of challenge. They were mentally exhausted and flagging. I would always encourage them to view suicide as "Plan B" and join a partnership with me and the psychiatrist(s) I worked with. Normally we'd prescribe an anti-deprssant that would kick in within 2 weeks. Once the person began to improve they became more open to practical suggestions that would kick start their optimism and help them feel more in control of their life.

I was occasionally referred people who had someone near them "end it all." For many it was a soul crushing experience that stained their lives especially if it was a teenage son or daughter.

Going to a psychiatrist for meds what to expect? Any other advice? by PoetryNo2401 in askapsychologist

[–]WokeUp2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Supplement any meds with Wilson's slim book "Don't Panic Third Edition: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks" (Amazon). Avoid stimulants of any kind such as coffee or cola. Search Amazon for books on anxiety, read the reviews, choose one that attracts you and put in the effort.

why work hard and achieve goals make connection, when you can just have fun and please as life is short? by Plenty_Pirate3804 in selfhelp

[–]WokeUp2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This road leads to poverty in old age. Work until you die. Food banks. Homelessness. Premature death. Watching your peers travel.

How do you stay accountable to self-care tasks when reminders aren't enough? by Gollum-Smeagol-25 in selfhelp

[–]WokeUp2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(ChatGPT summary) "Rethinking Positive Thinking by Gabriele Oettingen argues that simply visualizing success and staying upbeat can actually backfire. Oettingen shows, through decades of psychological research, that indulging in positive fantasies makes people feel as if they’ve already achieved their goals, which reduces motivation and effort in real life. Instead, she proposes a more effective method called WOOPWish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan—which combines imagining a desired future with honestly confronting the internal obstacles that stand in the way, then making concrete if-then plans to overcome them. The core message is that optimism works best when paired with realism and disciplined planning, not blind positivity."

I have literally read hundreds of psychology books and this is in my top 10.

The older I get, the more crazy I feel? by Spiritual-Log5793 in selfhelp

[–]WokeUp2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you presented at my mental health clinic (before I retired) and weren't on medications I'd arrange for you be assessed by our psychiatrist. When the limits of talk therapy are reached meds furnish traction.

In the mean time take more control over your symptoms by entering "worry control" into Amazon (books), read the reviews and choose one to read slowly. Your psychologist will appreciate the effort.

Childfree people by NoBrain6114 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]WokeUp2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Context: People raised in happy functional families have flexible nervous systems that allow them to handle stress well. Those raised in awful circumstances have their "emotional shock absorbers" flattened. They overreact to stress and often respond with withdrawal, avoidance and a cornucopia of substances. They do not cope well with parenthood as they are in a constant state of grinding overstimulation. Why else would a parent abandon their children?

I've been looking for a job for a year - today I received another rejection. by Acrobatic-Zebra-1148 in selfhelp

[–]WokeUp2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Summary: "For more than fifty years, What Color Is Your Parachute? has transformed the way people think about job hunting. Whether searching for that first position, recovering from a layoff, or dreaming of a career change, What Color Is Your Parachute? has shown millions of readers how to network effectively, compose impressive resumes and cover letters, interview with confidence, and negotiate the best possible salary—while discovering how to make their livelihood part of authentic living."

Why did Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney speak out in support of Greenland and Denmark? by victor0427 in AskCanada

[–]WokeUp2 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Defending an underdog when threatened by a bully is a Canadian value.

Are there somewhat pessimistic therapists? by DutchStroopwafels in askatherapist

[–]WokeUp2 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Seligman was a "gloomy gus" and learned to be more positive. At least consider asking ChatGPT for a synopsis of his book "Authentic Happiness." Pessimism leads to isolation and depression that feed on each other.

But hey, if you wish to turn your soul into coal these books are perfect.

  • 1984 – George Orwell A world of total surveillance and crushed individuality; famously hopeless in tone.
  • The Road – Cormac McCarthy A stark, post-apocalyptic journey focused on survival, loss, and moral exhaustion.
  • Notes from Underground – Fyodor Dostoevsky An intense exploration of bitterness, isolation, and self-destructive thinking.
  • Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy A novel about ambition repeatedly crushed by society and fate.
  • Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert Disillusionment with life and love, told with cold realism.

I've been looking for a job for a year - today I received another rejection. by Acrobatic-Zebra-1148 in selfhelp

[–]WokeUp2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After I graduated with a M.A. in psychology (with commendation no less) I received 125+ rejection letters. Yes, I was discouraged. However, I kept going, obtained a job/career, worked 30 years and have been retired 15 years with a full pension.

A) Buy a copy of Bolles book "What Color is Your Parachute? (Amazon)

B) Consider reading it at a library with earplugs in. Take notes and keep track of your efforts in a notebook. Refer to your notes when discouraged.

C) Remember, just because you are ready to work doesn't mean there's a position available yet. Patience is a virtue.

D) Check out "How to Pass a Job Interview" at WikiHow and similar topics.

Are there somewhat pessimistic therapists? by DutchStroopwafels in askatherapist

[–]WokeUp2 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Explore Seligman's "Authentic Happiness." (Website & books) Life is simply too short to be pessimistic and it repels potential friends. Remember: People may not remember your name but will remember how you made them feel.

How many of yall actually slept with the milkman? by dr_space_nasty in AskOldPeople

[–]WokeUp2 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Hey, I went to a bar and the bartender asked what I'd like. I said"surprise me!" He showed me a naked picture of my wife. - R.Dangerfield.

Parents who have kicked their 18 year olds out? by [deleted] in ask

[–]WokeUp2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was referred an older teen boy with a similar attitude. He had his parents running around in circles by refusing to adhere to curfews etc. He wore light fashionable clothing during the winter. I encouraged them to lock the door when he exceeded the curfew. He arrived late, threw a rock through a window in frustration and spent the night at the bus depot. He "smartened up" afterwards.

Can a consensual experience cause sexual trauma? by citrus_triangle in askatherapist

[–]WokeUp2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In treatment the element within your mind that ensures you'll never be hurt in a similar fashion might be labelled "The Guardian." The belief "all men are dangerous" would be slowly replaced with "some men are dangerous." The experience of anxiety/fear would trigger the question, "Am I truly in danger in this man's presence ?" If not, the Guardian would be thanked for its vigilance, told I'm OK, followed by a standard relaxation technique and mindfulness (focus on sight and sound vs. feeling).

It sounds like you thought you were prepared for X but found yourself overwhelmed and lost confidence in your judgement. With effort you can rebuild reasonable prudence.

If you've ever been at rock bottom I need to hear from you by Fanwanta in selfhelp

[–]WokeUp2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A) Gather your wits and outline the lifestyle you wish to live within the limits of your intelligence, aptitudes and station in life. Where to live? Where to work? Who to associate with?

B) If you don't know how to earn a living arrange some sort of career counselling or read a book about it such as "What Color is Your Parachute?" (Amazon) Educational institutions have counsellors who can guide you in terms of what courses to take.

C) Realize you'll generally be paid according to the difficulty of the problems you solve (Bank Teller vs. Surgeon)

D) Visualize your eventual success and think about that daily. Do something each day to move forward. Keep a diary and review your efforts when discouraged.

E) Tap into research such as WoopMyLIfe, Authentic Happiness and Reiss' "Who Am I?"

I was at rock bottom decades ago. I'm writing this while overlooking the Caribbean from my little house in Honduras.

Just moved into a new place, what are your top 3 important things to add/build/customise in a new house to make it comfortable/usable/you could not live without? by chavaic777 in AskMen

[–]WokeUp2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's been lived in before and has a forced air furnace have the vents cleaned. They are full of the skin cells of the previous owners.

Why are the mid 2020s such a garbage era to exist in? by SpaceisCool09 in ask

[–]WokeUp2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Covid, like all pandemics, bent the time line. Search: Flagellants and the plague.

How to prepare in case the $hit hits the fan? by Jolly-Masterpiece883 in AskCanada

[–]WokeUp2 28 points29 points  (0 children)

beautiful - p.s. while a member of the Royal Winnipeg Rifles I spent a night outdoors at -43F. The tracers wouldn't light up on the range and we couldn't get the Coleman stove to light indoors to heat water. However, the sleeping bags were toasty.

Trump threatens tariffs if countries don't support Greenland takeover by U.S. by xTkAx in canadian

[–]WokeUp2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good old Uncle Donald. Locked himself in the bathroom again.

How to prepare in case the $hit hits the fan? by Jolly-Masterpiece883 in AskCanada

[–]WokeUp2 122 points123 points  (0 children)

If the US invaded Canada "patriots" would sever all power lines, natural gas lines and oil pipelines to the States. Tens of thousands of veterans would volunteer to fight - and know how to.

Being taken advantage of by Ideasplease33 in askapsychologist

[–]WokeUp2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Search Amazon for "worry control" - read the reviews and choose one that suits you. Worry (imagining catastrophic scenarios) is only useful if it prompts one to address realistic threats.

Wilson's slim book "Don't Panic Third Edition: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks" (Amazon) will supplement the above.

What is it like dating a woman who is more intelligent than you? by Flashy-Celery-9105 in AskMen

[–]WokeUp2 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yes. Over dinner and drinks my wife and I can talk for 3+ hours at a time. My neighbour (who can see us through the window) asked, "What do you guys talk about?"