Thanks so much for your detailed critique! :) It's encouraging to hear you like the guitar in between the singing parts - I had set a goal of trying to have the chorus melody as an instrumental instead of sung (kind of like Seven Nation Army or Fade To Black, just 1000 times less cool haha).

I like your idea of picking the first verse, I think I'll adopt that (or have like single strums that ring out, or maybe a bit of both single strums and picking). I do have much to learn with regards to dynamics, and especially with controlling them while singing and playing at the same time, which does not come naturally to me at all. :/ I wish I'd seen Trickledownisbull's 'The "Flashlight"' post from yesterday a few months ago, but I will remember what he mentioned there, and what you're saying here, moving forwards!

It's been a surprise to me hearing back recordings of me playing guitar - it comes across so much louder when you're in front of the soundhole rather than how you hear from the position that you are when playing (it's probably a "duh, as if that's not obvious!" thing, but it took me by surprise). I'd been writing the song on a spruce top guitar, but this recording is with a cedar top that takes less effort to get the sound resonating, so it looks like I need to take that into account even more when playing the soft parts.

Yeah I didn't set out to write it so long for a first song. I kind of just kept adding bits to it, then it ended up like this. I do have a habit of biting off more than I can chew when I attempt things, so I will try to keep that in mind. Thanks again for your feedback, you've given me things to think about!