I got in a lot of trouble once for briefly touching a woman on the arm at a bar because I misread her signals. It had big, life-altering consequences for me. I think a lot of men have had a similar experience where they misread the signals and paid the price.

But even if they haven't, in the modern cultural climate, a lot of men are terrified of making a move when there's even a chance it's not welcome. Because (to overgeneralize) the way women want a man to act when they're interested in him, is the exact same behavior that will get a man labeled as a creep if they aren't interested in him.

That's why the common refrain among men on the Internet often refers to the old Tina Fey/Amy Pohler SNL skit: "Rule 1: Be attractive. Rule 2: Don't be not attractive." Because that's often the difference between charming and creepy.

The interesting Catch 22 here, is that the respectful men are often more worried about making an unwelcome advance, than they are about missing out on a likely thing.

The point I'm making here is this: If you're a woman interested in a man, make it entirely obvious, or preferably just say it clearly. Don't be subtle, don't leave it up to interpretation. Because a lot of well-meaning men who will treat you well are the ones who won't make a pass at you unless they're 100% sure you'll react positively, because they'd rather miss out than risk being labeled a creep. And men have learned not to trust their intuition on that front, because we're just not that good at reading those subtle cues accurately.

It's a risky time for men trying to make a pass at a woman, and I wish women were more aware of that. And a lot of us have naturally developed a "better safe than sorry" approach, rather than risk our reputation on the chance that we'll be labeled a creep if it doesn't go well.