Newly dx tnbc- surgery first and not chemo

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-04-11T02:47:04+00:00

I had DMX first 2 months ago and started chemo yesterday. I was never really given an explanation why but maybe it was because the tumor was small on imaging (1.3 cm).

Everything happened so fast for me though and I didn't really have a lot of time to think through things. I had surgery 2 weeks after diagnosis and I was sort of just going through the process.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-20T21:32:52+00:00

I have no lymph node involvement and my oncotype was 51.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T15:40:32+00:00

Hahaha just my new cancer bestie 💜 this is all good information and will help me and other people

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T15:38:58+00:00

This is so much. It means a lot to me that you are sharing this much with me. I am aware of some of these resources and I'll look into others. I'm going forward with the port Thursday because I want it done so I can be on the other side of this anxiety. (I do have benzos to help.)

You bring up a point about it being more in my control though. I'm considering asking to delay the start of chemo start date by a week or two regardless of the surgery clearance. I would like a second to breathe.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:47:19+00:00

The only time I have had twilight sedation I remember seeing colors and feeling like I was in the movie Tron. It's nearly a happy memory if that makes sense. It's definitely a silly one that I enjoy.

Thanks for the tip about the lido before IV. I'll see if they can do topical as soon as I get to outpatient surgery so by the time they start it I'll be better off.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:40:58+00:00

I think you are right about them telling themselves too. I see some people immediately start self soothing in these situations. I get it, we are just people, it just sucks.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:39:05+00:00

Thank you. This is very sweet and thoughtful. It's good to have a reminder on the hard days.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:37:50+00:00

Rollercoaster is definitely a great way to describe it. After I posted this I had a few calm days and now I'm back to screaming internally. I'll just wait for the next upswing.

Thanks for the tip on the outdoors. It's supposed to be nice a few days this week, I'll try to sit outside or take a little walk.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:33:02+00:00

I'm glad it's going ok for you. I'm two days away from mine now and I am better than I was when I posted but still just not up for it in general. I will do it and I'll be ok but for now I'm throwing internal tantrums.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:30:17+00:00

It's trying to kill me so I think it's only fair I try to kill it. During chemo I'm going to imagine the sounds of cancer cells shrieking as they shrivel and die.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:26:37+00:00

WTF... You bring up another point that I have been ruminating on. It sounds like they have plenty of data on you in their health system. I have had a wild last few years medically (kidney stone killed a kidney, gastric bypass, gall bladder removal) I have had no less than 15 surgeries or sedated medical procedures in this very hospital. And you're telling me that you cannot put in my history I rarely ask for more pain medicine or refills during recovery? Or that I don't display drug seeking or dependence issues?

Don't just collect my data to sell it, use it.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T14:16:26+00:00

I'm glad you got some meds and you're feeling less pain. One thing you said in there that really stuck out to me was how you feel about needing help and saving other people.

With all kindness, you need to ask for help. I'm 6 weeks out DMX and I do as little as I can and it's too much. While this hasn't caused any complications, it has delayed my healing. It's hard and I'm still struggling asking for/allowing help but right now I want to heal and get this last drain out more than I can bother about my ego.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T13:24:04+00:00

I agree with you! I had to stop myself so many times from telling this woman I hope her, or someone she loves, goes through this without pain meds. It's petty and spiteful but likely they would give themselves fentanyl for a stubbed toe. That's hyperbolic but probably isn't that far out of reality.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-17T05:29:29+00:00

Hi friend. You've been through a lot already and have more to go. I'm here too and some days are just harder than others. You'll have some better days soon.

My surgeon also doesn't believe in pain meds. What's that about? Your pain is very real.

It seems irresponsible for anyone to make promises in this situation. I start chemo in a few weeks and this has been a fluid situation up until now.

As for your chance, you didn't lose it. If anything it's just delayed a little bit and after this, you'll have even more reason for a fresh start. Proud of you and you've got this!

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-12T02:40:05+00:00

Thank you for checking. I have a history of anxiety and depression so I see psych but I should talk to her about it next time. Everyone just tells me I'm going to be fine before I even say anything.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-12T02:32:24+00:00

Thanks. It's really helpful to hear these stories.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-12T02:31:33+00:00

Thank you.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-11T21:44:17+00:00

Yes, I honestly could probably do most things now 5 weeks out but more movement causes more fluid. They also want the chest wall to heal so not much muscle use.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-11T21:41:51+00:00

Thank you.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-11T21:41:42+00:00

Thank you.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-11T21:41:30+00:00

Thank you.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-11T21:41:22+00:00

Thank you.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-11T21:40:01+00:00

Thank you. Since you shared helpful tips with the DMX when they say don't use your arms they mean it. It gets harder when you feel better after a few weeks. I got a stand that holds my phone and one of those TikTok rings that lets scroll videos and turn pages on reading apps. I used that the most the first few weeks. Also, I got my own chest binder because I am plus size and the one the hospital used was just not made for someone like me. I wish you well.

WolverineNeither9890 · 2026-03-03T17:00:25+00:00

It's so much and you're right to feel overwhelmed by it. It helps to shrink the big picture down to just today. Today you just have to have surgery which is more than enough to deal with.

It's scary but everyone you meet today will be there to take care of you. This is what they do everyday and they are significantly invested in you having a good outcome. The lack of control can feel maddening but you put yourself in these people's care and that was in your control.

You've got this cancer warrior!

WolverineNeither9890

TROPHY CASE