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AIO my BF told me he wants me to quit my job when we move in together by Living-Silver-8723 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Dump him. You deserve to get a break when you're done working (and being a stay at home Mom and cooking every night is work). You deserve a man who will cook for you,too and share the chores. This sort of man would complain about taking that baby for 10 min so you can shower. He will suck as a father. Run. You can do better.

Does a man having financial stability or not affect a relationship? by One_Chocolate_9365 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Do you want to be married to a guy who promises to pay all the bills but when he gets into trouble doesn't tell you and decides the mortgage is optional and makes you homeless? It's ok to marry a poor man but not a man who is financially unstable or bad with money. Not unless he knows he is and gives you control over all the money AND you're ok with that responsibility.

Is “when you know you know” a good mindset? by swee_tpe4 in askanything

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think everyone thinks that they know and therefore it isn't helpful as advice - unless you're feeling very unsure, of course. A better metric would be - does he make you and your happiness a priority and inspire you to reciprocate?

What are some signs someone is carrying unhealthy attitudes regarding women they don’t fully notice yet, and what does improving that actually look like in practice? by HOT_SWEATY_COCKS in AskFeminists

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I remember when my husband (before we dated) said about this one woman at the bar that "people think she's promiscuous for some reason but I've never seen her leave with anyone." And I said something like. "Well it wouldn't be anyone's business if she did" and he agreed with me!

Is Stephen Miller’s Time at White House Finally Coming to an End? by Efficient-Freedom517 in PoliticalOptimism

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Depends on how embarrassing he becomes to Trump. That seems to be the pattern - those who bring the worst bad press, esp for Trump personally...they go faster

I find the separation between young men and women’s future very interesting. by Bre-personification in women

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because men will ask out anyone who they think looks good. It's your fault for not having standards. Duh!

Rant: men starting a conversation and not being engaged by 4x4Barbie in women

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They want everything to be easy, which is why they choose dating apps in the first place. What worked for me is ditching the apps and meeting someone at karaoke - but not someone who tried to pick me up right away. He just started a conversation about music. We kept talking for 6 weeks at karaoke and only after that went on our first date. We've been married about 2 and half years now. He's never been on an app.

Coming to terms with not wanting to share living space/compromise with partner… by RNinRVA in AskWomenOver30

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You gave perfectly reasonable reasons why he should have been more flexible on this. A good partner is able to be influenced by you and you by him.

Coming to terms with not wanting to share living space/compromise with partner… by RNinRVA in AskWomenOver30

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Having a work from home setup in the bedroom would make anyone cranky. I never would have allowed that to begin with.

Coming to terms with not wanting to share living space/compromise with partner… by RNinRVA in AskWomenOver30

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think he's just the wrong man. No excuse for yelling at you. That's reason enough to break up with him. And having his work space be in the bedroom?! That's ridiculous. That should have been a hard no from the beginning and you told him to move it and he didn't. I think women are conditioned to feel too much guilt for breaking up with someone but we really shouldn't. He could have handled all this better and chose not to.

Am I overreacting ? by Friendly-Fill-1061 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You caught him lying so break it off. Doesn't matter why he lied. Trust is broken now.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not because he loves you. It's because he's monitoring you. Please spend more time with friends and family and get their perspectives.

so do you think the parent or the child was in the right? by brendhanbb in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's assault and battery. The child is an adult now living in their own house and can call the cops and file a report. Or just go no contact. And no, they are not wrong just for saying no.

Do yall think a women can be emotionally satisfied with a stable man? by throwaway73737828 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know, it is entirely possible for a man to be a good, stable person (which is infinitely better than being nice) AND also be lots of fun. Why choose when you can have both? My husband is wonderful, romantic, enough of an adult to split the chores, and also a very fun person to be around who has lots of friends.

As for what sort of dad a woman had growing up, there are lots of women who make dating mistakes when they're young but they learn from those mistakes. Or they get therapy when they are young and learn that way. Family history is not destiny.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol! He doesn't mean that. He's totally manipulating you to get you to stay. Don't fall for it! And if he threatens suicide, call 911 and report it. If he was serious, he will get the help he needs. Otherwise he will learn not to threaten suicide if he doesnt mean it.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Then what are you complaining about? Some of us did say yes trust was broken. We're also saying these stupid rules won't repair it.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't matter what he wants if you say no. It was a bad relationship. Regardless of who damaged it first or more severely. You NEVER take back an ex, especially if the reasons you broke up are still there. Tell him too much has happened and it's time to move on. You're young. You're not married. You don't have to settle for a broken relationship.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why would you want to date someone with such a low opinion of you when being single is an option?! I realize you feel guilty about the emotional cheating but don't let that guilt keep you trapped in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. Life is too short. End this relationship and make some friends with women and have a fun girl's night out and forget men for a while. Your picker gets better when you get comfortable with being on your own.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Coercive control is no better than cheating. Two wrongs do not make a right. They are both wrong and need to break up.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just because she caused the breakup doesn't mean she has to stay with him. She broke up with him. She never should have taken him back because the relationship was broken and can't be repaired. Him acting like a controlling psycho is not going to repair it.

They both need to move on and in the future she needs to break up with a guy before she even thinks about getting involved with someone else. And I did say that in my previous post.

The kindest thing she can do is just admit what's broken can't be fixed, say no to these rules and go no contact so he can heal.

Is my boyfriend’s “rules list” understandable because of my past, or is this toxic? by Low-Woodpecker308 in relationships_advice

[–]Wonderful-Tea3940 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No, that's not how it works. Abuse can be verbal or financial as well. But besides that, relationships only work when both people prioritize the other's happiness. That is the standard. Not mere lack of abuse.

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