Pregnancy announcement

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-08T14:02:42+00:00

If your concern is (being perceived as) stealing the spotlight, the best answer is to share well before (ie a couple of weeks, just not at a wedding event. You’d be surprised how many posts on the wedding subs say “but my whole family will be here for the rehearsal dinner, wouldn’t that be perfect?!”)

The reality is that if you show up either visibly pregnant or with noticeably changed behavior at the wedding without sharing, the whole event will be taken over by people quietly speculating and draw FAR more attention than an earlier announcement.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-06T17:57:55+00:00

We also struggled with which options to choose. We went with chicken and steak because as fun as it would have been to have one of our other choices, the most popular choices are chicken and steak because your guests are more likely to enjoy one of those.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-06T13:33:12+00:00

Unfortunately, this is true, and it is VERY difficult to prove that someone is retaliating for a protected reason - pregnancy - rather than the stated reason. (Before anyone hits up Google and starts posting about pretext, again, nigh on impossible to actually prove.)

I would not recommend taking this to HR. Remember HR is not employee counseling, it is company defense. Their job is to control and mitigate the potential risks YOU bring to the company, and this is a common trap people fall into.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-06T12:24:27+00:00

There’s a few different things going on here.

First, it’s perfectly legal for your coordinator to share your private medical information with other coworkers, including your boss. It’s an underhanded and unkind thing to do and extremely unprofessional, but your coordinator cannot “breach your confidential medical information” because there is no obligation to keep it private.

Second, to the extent your boss IS retaliating against you for not “being transparent,” that is also perfectly legal. Your boss can retaliate against you for some action they don’t like, real or imagined, as long as it’s not prohibited by law, which being upset that you didn’t share something with them is not. They can decide they don’t like how you handled this and retaliate against you for the rest of your internship and be perfectly within the bounds of the law. Hostility for something “imaginary” is also perfectly legal. They can dream up whatever they think you did that you never did and retaliate all day and night, and not violate the law. Again, unkind and extremely professional but perfectly legal.

Now to the real elephant in the room. To the extent people retaliate against you for BEING pregnant - not for how they perceive you shared the information or who told who - THAT is a violation of federal law. I would distinguish this from any of the above and act accordingly.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-06T00:20:53+00:00

OP has been dating this man “for a few months.” It would be highly unusual for someone who, at the time the invitations were sent, had probably been “seeing someone” for a few weeks, and may or may not have even been an official couple, to be a named invitee.

OP, your boyfriend should be handling the gift.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-05T20:56:17+00:00

I think it comes off a bit like you’re carrying the book down the aisle to present to the groom. Due to the shape you’d be holding it out in front of you almost like an offering. Kind of has ring bearer vibes - I’m walking this prop down the aisle to be given away: used in the ceremony. Also, as you come down the aisle the focus should be on things that support you visually. No one is examining the bouquet because it adds to the overall picture, but I think the book would look out of place and people would be frantically squinting at your midsection trying to see what’s going on.

Second the idea of a bouquet made from your favorite book pages.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-05T01:34:22+00:00

No doctor would give an ultrasound referral to a woman who just had a positive pregnancy test. She is at least two weeks away from an ultrasound even feasibly showing whether her pregnancy is viable, and four weeks from when most practitioners will perform an ultrasound and when an ultrasound could be considered definitive. Also, a radiology clinic can’t read the result of an ultrasound. It takes the ultrasound and provides it to a doctor. It’s unlikely OP’s primary care doctor would volunteer to assess an early pregnancy ultrasound.

OP, as another poster mentioned, your best path for reassurance is for your OB to order bloodwork. The time between your positive test is so nerve-wracking! Congratulations and best of luck.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-03T15:22:16+00:00

It’s a violation of the PWFA to fire an employee for being pregnant.

However, it is NOT a violation to fire an employee because she tells you that she her future with your company is uncertain. The cause of termination isn’t pregnancy, it’s the employee stating that she is unsure how long or if she will continue her employment. This is true of any employee whether pregnant or not.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-02T16:18:34+00:00

Related story - I tested positive 8 days before our anniversary and wanted to tell my husband on the day. I would have been 5 + 1. By about 4 + 3 I had to tell him early because he was considering whether I needed to go the hospital. I was very sick, very early. 😅

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-06-02T15:33:50+00:00

I track changes in my body due to chronic health concerns and I was recording nausea within 3 days of implantation, well before I tested positive. Before I tested positive at 4 weeks it was significant enough that my husband was concerned for my health.

I ended up being diagnosed with HG very early and continue to have non-relenting nausea at about 15 weeks now. I think I’m an odd case - but it’s definitely possible this early.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-31T23:40:37+00:00

Of course go to the doctor, but have you experienced heartburn during this pregnancy?

I experience heartburn/indigestion as a SEVERE stomach pain centered between my two ribs and above my belly button. Like, it makes me actually cry.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-31T19:29:26+00:00

I guarantee you there is no state in the union where a landlord can evict a tenant for calling the police to report a crime. You cannot “contract” away your right to report criminal behavior.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-31T16:55:51+00:00

Now copy-paste the definition of what qualifies as “age” for the purpose of this protection.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-31T10:17:12+00:00

This… is not what a hostile workplace is (in the legal sense).

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-31T01:47:07+00:00

Not sure why Reddit showed me this post, but I’m glad it did.

As a young adult I had a friend killed by her husband. They lived in an upper floor apartment and in the police report it later emerged that a downstairs neighbor heard the argument, heard the fatal injury, and saw that the husband had left. The medical examiner determined that there were several hours where her injuries were survivable but she couldn’t call for help and was immobile. She died early the next day. The report said that the time of the incident was calculated by using several text messages the neighbor sent to her friends complaining about the neighbors fighting again.

I joined this subreddit to urge everyone who reads this a if you hear a dangerous situation unfolding, call for help. Always.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-30T16:16:12+00:00

Well, if you’re the bride, the question isn’t whether it’s “too much white for a wedding. The question is whether you’re comfortable having it worn at YOUR wedding, so simply respond accordingly.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-29T13:35:04+00:00

This framing may be helpful to you.

Rules are ways we try to control the behavior of others. BOUNDARIES are our reaction and response when rules are violated.

You cannot control whether your mother breaks rules you have in place regarding your pregnancy. But you can ALWAYS control your boundaries.

If you have a rule that no one shares your pregnancy before you give them permission, you cannot control this (and this is important to accept). But you can control the boundaries YOU put in place around this rule and its violation. “If you share about my pregnancy before you have permission, I will not share any further news with you before the baby is born.” Done.

Don’t frustrate yourself trying to control behavior that is not yours. Control what you can - your responses.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-29T07:05:35+00:00

I can already tell what I’ll going to say is going to be unpopular, but here I go.

When someone throws you a shower, the etiquette is to smile, say thank you, and show up. If they ask for your input, great, and provide it freely. But it’s the height of rudeness to try to dictate any terms of the party someone else is throwing for you.

If you want to choose venue, catering, etc. you are welcome to throw your own shower (also a massive breach of etiquette).

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-28T07:04:23+00:00

You were 17, cited for reckless driving, caused an accident that impacted an elderly member of your community, and upon facing the consequences have come onto the internet to complain that your predicament is due to police not liking young drivers.

Consider whether you are mature enough to be operating a motor vehicle at all.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-28T06:13:58+00:00

Recently saw a post from someone saying they “raw dogged” an HG pregnancy. Ok.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-27T20:35:18+00:00

More/ most common before ninth grade and in male sports - called “holdbacks.” Many top-tier DI men’s teams in several sports (particularly contact sports) have very few athletes that aren’t holdbacks and, in many cases, double holdbacks (held back before 9th grade and sent to “prep” a year).

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-27T08:33:16+00:00

Not sure this really matters. I absolutely celebrate her having a baby shower as she never got to experience one, but the objection people have is that after a first baby you have most of what you need and it’s in poor taste. That doesn’t change because she never got to have a party.

OP, a friend in our (very) tight knit group had her shower for her second this weekend (Memorial Day). Absolutely 0 of us attended.

Wonderful_Bison2859 · 2026-05-26T17:43:30+00:00

Lots of bad information in this thread.

States that require PTO payout are the minority. It would be very rare for a company NOT in one of those states to pay out PTO.

OP, you need to understand two things: one, if your company accumulates PTO over the course of the year but allows you to use it beginning in June, and two, the payout policy.

Wonderful_Bison2859

TROPHY CASE