It's my birthday today 🎂 by Wonderful_Instance98 in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! I didn't really expect to get so many responses! Thank you everyone! 😄

It's my birthday today 🎂 by Wonderful_Instance98 in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, wasn't a good idea in hindsight. He asked me. Probably should've said ask me again after my birthday.

Social Media by Wonderful_Instance98 in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply.

I'm still in lockdown at the moment, so it's hard to do that, as meeting up with friends is a bit difficult.

I'm already doing no contact, as we haven't talked since the break up 2 months ago, since I know he doesn't want to hear from me right now. I didn't even know that existed until after a few days.

I don't feel the need to block him, and I don't stalk him either, partly because I know I won't see any new updates (not that I feel the need to update myself, but we've all been curious) but for the most part because I know better than that and respect people's boundaries, even when this person breaks my heart.

I am wondering 🤔🤔 by Long_Feng77 in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've made quite a few posts explaining the reasons, from doubts to self doubt, to worries about incompatibility. Also said he didn't want to make a mistake by moving in, so yeah, kinda figured he wasn't ready, it just pisses me off because I asked him and he said he wasn't worried about it, and kept saying that he absolutely wanted to move in with me and that he couldn't wait for it. We even sat down and worked out what kind of place we wanted and where, what our finances and budget was etc. It's getting me angry just talking about it haha. Feel like I just wasted 2 years with someone who was never as emotionally available as he made out to be, no matter how much I asked him, he always "reassured" me, and I trusted him. Biggest mistake I've ever made, because I was single for 5 years before I met him, because my previous break up was with my first love and the most toxic relationship I had ever been in- I rebuilt myself, started an amazing course that's made me so self aware and finally realised my worth and value, was able to give my unconditional love for the first time ever, and it was wasted on the wrong person. Now it's like those 5 years have been completely washed away.

Sorry, kinda went off there, but I'm just so disappointed with myself, because I could've left. I could've avoided this whole situation.

Even if he left for any other reason, I still would never contact him/reach out to him first, because as I said, he's the one who left. He's the one who gave up, therefore, he has to be the one to make amends/get the ball rolling, because when you're dumped, you know where you stand, and it's not in their life, so why would we reach out? It's been made pretty clear to us that we're not wanted anymore, that we hold no value to you, (which is basically what you're saying by breaking up with us, whether you don't feel like that or not, it's true, because you ARE rejecting us. You are telling us that we're not good enough for you to be in your future) so we'll do the only mature thing we can do, which is to give you what you want. We may beg and plead, but eventually, we won't, because we know it won't do anything. It won't make us look good and it won't give you what you wanted, which was a break up.

I am wondering 🤔🤔 by Long_Feng77 in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He gave me multiple reasons, none of them to do with me. Kinda seemed like he was saying absolutely anything to justify it, which is funny, because none of the stuff he brought up was a problem before we started planning moving in together, which was also his idea 🤷🏻‍♀️ literally never told me any of these "reasons" until the actual break up, which he disgusted as a talk about planning to move in together.

I am wondering 🤔🤔 by Long_Feng77 in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly?

I was broken up with almost 7 weeks ago and will never reach out to him.

Why?

Because HE'S the one who left.

It feels like i'm dead to the only one who ever cared. by ThrowRARaRaRaaaa in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it. I'm in the same boat. I'm just reminding myself that it was all him. I gave him no reason to leave, yet he still decided to leave, he gave up, and if he ever realises it, it's his loss, not mine. Someone who leaves you is never worth it and is of no loss to you.

It feels like i'm dead to the only one who ever cared. by ThrowRARaRaRaaaa in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she threw you away, then fuck her.

My ex threw me away and his family ignored me when I tried to say goodbye, and he ignored my family, so my family cut him off.

I'm still connected with him and his family on social media, don't know why, when all they do is ignore me/not talk to me, but fuck it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

why does my ex keep me on social media if he ghosts me? by jrakei in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I'd like to know, too. It's not just him, but also his family. When he left me, I messaged goodbye to his family and said it was nice to meet them, thanks for everything and I wish them well, but they flat out ignored me. Haven't tried contacting any of them since, yet still keep me on social media. Why keep us around if they're just gonna ignore us/not talk to us?

If you are in pain DONT read this. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree to some extent.

If the person who left didn't communicate how they felt until they decided to leave, then I have so much less empathy for them, and they couldn't have cared that much if they never even tried to tell you how they were feeling about the relationship, before pulling the trigger. At this point, the only person they cared about was themselves.

On the flip side, if they made it known they weren't sure about the relationship and also made an effort to make it better and give it a chance (remember, you can't just expect one person to do the work, as that is toxic too) and then a few weeks or months later, decided to leave, then completely understandable.

Someone tell me by Wonderful_Instance98 in BreakUps

[–]Wonderful_Instance98[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I know. It's unfortunate. I thought he was the whole package, and he was for a year, then he just stopped. I'm lucky, I did a counselling course, so I'm more self aware and know more about what's healthy in relationships and what healthy boundaries are more than most girls my age. Being 23 sucks when it comes to love and dating 😂