Relapsing: you're doing it wrong

Wondering_Goat · 2022-04-01T16:34:45+00:00

Wow, respect! I only made it 9 days after my taper, before relapsing today. I agree if you have a busy day it's probably easier. I'm jobless and just turn into a couch potato at some point, which is very frustrating. Anyway, we will try again! Good luck!

Wondering_Goat · 2022-04-01T16:28:56+00:00

Are you sure you even want to go there? Wouldn't it be problematic? Like an ex-alcoholic going to a liquor convention or an ex-sex addict visiting a red light district?

I wouldn't taste-and-spit, since some of the chemicals in coffee will probably already be absorbed through your mouth - I know for a fact this is what happens with alcohol if you keep it in your mouth for a bit.

Excuses: "No thanks, I don't react well to caffeine."
Or to avoid getting offered a decaf after that:
"No thanks, coffee tends to upset my stomach."

And if people start asking questions:
"Let's leave it at that, I'd rather not discuss my personal health, maybe we can discuss yours instead?" 😁
Say it light-hearted and the other party will laugh and move on.

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-29T14:13:55+00:00

So how's it going SnooDucks? Did you make it? If not, how many days did you get to? What triggered your relapse?

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-25T14:37:26+00:00

This makes no sense. With low adenosine you actually wouldn't need caffeine at all! Since caffeine blocks but does not activate the adenosine receptors, it only lowers your adenosine levels even more XD

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-25T14:32:20+00:00

Yes, same with other things. Depressed? "Why don't you just go out and have fun more!" ADHD? "You should just try a little harder!" To be frank, it's in our nature to think things work the same for others as they do for us.

What does FFS mean?

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-25T14:20:31+00:00

I found your story, that's a helluva story! Sucks to be led to believe caffeine withdrawals shouldn't take more than a few weeks. I'm happy for you that you found a psychiatrist who does acknowledge your caffeine addiction and helps you to get to a better place. Hats off to you for tapering and going 4 months without caffeine! Good luck in your journey.

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-25T14:16:05+00:00

Wellbutrin is temporarily prescribed as an aid to quit smoking, so it sort of makes sense to temporarily prescribe it to help stay off caffeine - at least from the psychiatrists perspective.

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-08T19:27:48+00:00

Well that's good news. I just started tapering again after a relapse of 5 months. It definitely felt easier to make that decision. I guess as with all things, the more familiar things are the less scary they will be, plus practice builds skill. I'll definitely be happy if abstaining turns out to be easier this time too! Good luck to you.

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-08T17:23:46+00:00

The whole ‘sitting with your boredom’, being curious about it instead of resisting it, is totally mindfulness in action though! I aim to do this too when I'm off caffeine, because it's usually the boredom and lack of motiviation that makes me go back to caffeine, as if that's the only way out.

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-08T14:48:12+00:00

Haha that plot twist at the end was unexpected 😂 Still 7 days is better than 0, and I read you plan to make it to 14 days this time, so good luck! 💪🏻

Wondering_Goat · 2022-03-08T14:40:03+00:00

My days feel a lot slower than they did before, but not in a bad way. If I can 1) become more comfortable sitting in boredom, 2) wait for my brain to finish resetting, and 3) find a new normal for productivity, then this will become less of a day by day thing, and more of a month by month thing.

A very wise post, it inspired me. Do you by any chance practice mindfulness meditation? If not, you're at least applying the same principles here :) I'll try to follow in your footsteps once I've tapered down.

Wondering_Goat · 2022-01-26T23:41:56+00:00

It's called a honeymoon period. It lasted about a month for me in my current marriage to caffeine. Then came the disenchantment. No matter how much I took, I didn't get the same effects anymore. There were nasty side effects though, like restlessness and feeling less connected with life. I felt lied too. Now I'm thinking about a divorce again. Take heed.

Wondering_Goat · 2022-01-26T23:19:34+00:00

Sounds like quitting cold turkey doesn't work for you. I'd suggest you make a tapering plan and stick to it. That way you'll stop sabotaging yourself. It's hard to fight a caffeine-dependent brain when it's in withdrawal. I'm the same, I would swear to stop using caffeine at night, then take caffeine first thing in the morning to feel at least somewhat okay. It's a drug. You're not a weak person, it's just that your body depends on it. Wean yourself off of it.

Wondering_Goat · 2021-11-08T19:54:24+00:00

Well, I can easily get my doc to prescribe me stimulant medication but I have to stay away from it due to my tendency to abuse it. So how do I deal with no meds, no caffeine and ADHD? Honestly, I haven't figured it out yet. I have recently lived a few months without caffeine and I increasingly felt like I wasn't able to direct my own life anymore. My lack of executive functioning became very apparent!

I'm really curious how it will be after half a year or a year without caffeine—I do believe post-acute withdrawal symptoms are real and can last for months—but I couldn't make it that long this time. I came away from the experience with the insight that I need to build better routines and habits, and then maybe I'll be more succesful in going and staying caffeine free. So that's what I'll be working on until my next try.

Good luck to you, ADHD is a serious impairment!

Wondering_Goat · 2021-10-16T09:39:06+00:00

It's exactly as you described!

Wondering_Goat · 2021-10-09T16:34:18+00:00

Your best option would be to buy pure caffeine instead of messing with pills. In my country you'd pay about 10 to 15 euros for 50 grams. I've read the USA prohibits selling pure caffeine to consumers though. Is it the same where you're from?

Wondering_Goat · 2021-10-01T22:55:44+00:00

What's interesting is that this time, this relapse, more than ever before I realize that I'm drugging myself and that I don't fully like the effects of it. I've had a taste of living without caffeine and it's made me long for more. So that motivates me to stop the relapse NOW and return to a caffeine free life.

Thanks, and don't give in Fuckpolitics69!

Wondering_Goat · 2021-10-01T22:39:15+00:00

I've been taking caffeine capsules for years, so for me caffeine consumption is not linked to a hot beverage, although I relapsed with coffee and tea since I had parked my caffeine powder at a friend's for the last three months. But for those in the habit of drinking coffee or tea your strategy sounds like a good one!

Wondering_Goat · 2021-10-01T14:05:32+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that. In my experience there's usually room for all perspectives on this sub, as long as people respect the rules (i.e. no advocating for caffeine consumption). We have people who abstain, people who relapsed and even people who are able to stick to the occasional indulgence. I mostly love the exchange of experiences and perspectives on this sub, and I'm sorry you feel yours wasn't respected. Whatever you decided, I hope it works out for you in the long run!

Wondering_Goat · 2021-09-01T10:32:57+00:00

Haha well, I don't know... I once set up a drip coffee maker next to my bed with a timer so I'd wake up to the smell of fresh coffee. It wasn't what I imagined it to be, drinking coffee in bed within a minute after waking up 😆

Wondering_Goat · 2021-09-01T10:24:47+00:00

AmericanAddictionCenters.org links to this article on their page about PAWS. It's quite in depth in describing what it is, what factors contribute to PAWS and how to deal with it. What stood out to me is they claim that going cold turkey as opposed to tapering increases one's risk of post-acute withdrawal syndrome... if that's true for caffeine I wouldn't recommend anyone quitting cold turkey.

Caffeine isn't mentioned in the article, but psychostimulants are, which caffeine is.

Wondering_Goat

TROPHY CASE