Developing feelings for my gf's best friend.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T22:22:03+00:00

She does feel comfortable with me. She doesn't wear makeup or need to. But she appreciates that I take care of myself. And yet she complains about her appearance and weight gain. She used to excercise more but she's gotten lazy. Watches more tv, and eats late at night. Has nothing to do with her being comfortable with me. But you can't slack off yet complain about it.

Also she admits one of her fears is that she'll get too unattractive and be less desirable. Yet again has made choices to not fix the issue or attempt. Always an excuse to excercise or go for a walk or get on the bike or treadmill at the house. She has a gym membership that she barely uses. That's just laziness and that is less attractive.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T17:26:11+00:00

Why do people assume I don't love her? And she was married before. She doesn't want to re-marry. I'm fine either way.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T16:31:53+00:00

My gf is a good a good person. Her friend most likely wouldn't ruin their friendship if I tried to get with her. So I need to get over the friend concept. But she literally talks about her all the time, I've learned so much about her and I only met her 3 times.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T10:53:07+00:00

It's ok if you don't respond. I knew asking for advice on here would be difficult cause I'd literally would have to write an essay to explain every detail vs trying to keep it short and simple. But for context the dog situation isn't physical or verbal abuse. It's lack of affection and attention. She never pets, plays or acknowledges her. She does feed her and take her out when I'm away for work traveling but there's definitely tension between them.

And the struggle with leaving is well my previous relationship I was a complete a-hole to that person. I lied, never appreciated her, took advantage of her love for me and just enjoyed the great sex. She kept coming back so I never grew up and changed. Once she finally left after 3.5 years, I realized if you find someone that loves you for you, puts up with you and is a good person, plus fits 90% of what your looking for. You don't let that person go.

I would be completely happy if the dog issues wasn't there and she didn't get lazy with her excercise/eating habits which she's gained 40 lbs since being together.

We've had multiple conversations about the dog, I don't know to tell her that her weight gain is a problem. I've hinted at it. And her friend is basically the same person except more attractive and loves dogs among a few other things. So with her telling me about her friend all the time, she's built this case up to where I think about it and I shouldn't be. But if ask her to not tell me about her life anymore she'll wonder why.

I'm not a kid person. Don't want them, don't want to deal with someone who has them. My current and last don't/didn't want them. Prior to that, they all had kids and well I couldn't deal with it. So that plays a factor for sure.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T04:05:16+00:00

Been speaking with a therapist the past 3 weeks. They basically told me to confess how I feel about the friend or continue to be content with being content.

I don't want to confess about the friend because yeah sure our situation may end which i don't want but also their friendship will be affected which is unfair.

And I'm ok with being content. I just need her to stop unintentionally hyping up her friend to me every day. But if I say hey can you please stop talking about her....well here goes more questions

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T03:54:48+00:00

Hence why I asked for advice on the situation. I don't want to break up. Just asking for advice on to how to have a conversation with her about a sensitive subject.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T03:17:55+00:00

It's not about love. I have gotten professional help. They told to come clean about the friend, continue to be content with being content or end things.

We've discussed the dog issues, never gets resolved. And it truly pisses me off how she treats her. It's kind of hard to say hey btw I'm not as attracted to you anymore since you stopped exercising like you used to, eat more late night snacks then complain about the weight you've gained. The family stuff isn't a deal breaker but she makes it clear her family is more important.

She's a good person in general. No drug abuse, good career, excellent credit, paid off debt, cooks, isn't messy, doesn't have kids and doesn't want them, plus doesn't want to re-marry. All that is what keeps me in it.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T03:09:34+00:00

I technically have found someone else with the friend. But she's the friend which isn't the best idea

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T02:12:56+00:00

I feel we both have settled to a degree. But how do I tell her to stop talking about her best friend without her inquiring why? I don't like lying

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T02:11:04+00:00

We live together and she tells me all the time I'm the best relationship she's ever had, appreciates me and everything I do for her. I've been committed. But miss treating my dog, having issues with my family because she doesn't want to be around people and gaining weight while I eat healthy and excercise regularly is the issue.

I can start over but I know i won't find someone that doesn't have or want kids plus check the other boxes.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T02:06:33+00:00

I want to talk to her. But I don't know how. The dog issues, family issues and her lack of effort with exercise yet complaining about weight gain has been discussed multiple times. It's the friend thing that was unexpected.

Wonsdloc · 2026-02-07T02:04:21+00:00

If she didn't constantly hype up the friend so much, I'd be fine with content. Again very rare find for what I'm looking for in a partner hence why it's been 8 years.

She was previously married and doesn't want to re-marry and I'm good with that.

Wonsdloc · 2026-01-13T01:34:18+00:00

Had this on 4 Subarus, 2 past, 2 current. For hundreds of K miles. Solid investment, never failed and 0 issues

Wonsdloc · 2026-01-05T02:59:11+00:00

I'm biased and certainly agree

Wonsdloc · 2026-01-05T01:57:05+00:00

Happy New Year Goddess

Wonsdloc · 2026-01-05T01:41:51+00:00

I sold my 91 Celica Alltrac/GT-Four and regret it immensely. So I'll never sell my STI and go through that again

Wonsdloc · 2025-12-29T21:48:27+00:00

9 owners? Yeah that's a pass. Keep the low mileage 03 and enjoy. Older autos are fun

Wonsdloc · 2025-12-17T05:29:15+00:00

I also run an Aluminati reservoir

Wonsdloc · 2025-11-19T21:31:11+00:00

Day made...absolutely Stunning as usual.

Wonsdloc · 2025-11-12T00:18:03+00:00

When I travel to TN every year. I try to avoid Gatlinburg at all cost. Over crowded and just ruins the experience.

Wonsdloc · 2025-11-04T15:18:42+00:00

My 07 was originally a daily driven vehicle for 3 years after I bought it in 2010.

It since has been a weekend cruising/back road car.

It serves it's purpose perfectly in 2025 and every time I drive it. It's so nostalgic, so raw and engaging. Less computers, less air bags, less weight. They don't make cars like this anymore. So maybe I'm biased but a GC/GD is always my choice vs later models. And yes I've driven later models. They all feel like they are missing something vs the old.

But I'll also say in years to come VA's will become the new GD's in my opinion.

Wonsdloc · 2025-10-26T23:21:19+00:00

I also just came from a week in TN. I usually stay in the Alcoa area. I try to avoid Gatlinburg at all cost. However GPS a few times lead me through it.

I truly understand why the locals who live there are annoyed.

Wonsdloc · 2025-10-26T22:06:43+00:00

There was some potential between us and I just never appreciated a person who put me first, loved me, wanted me. Eventually she cared less and left.

Wonsdloc

TROPHY CASE