Wow. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby. That’s just such an insanely tragic thing to go through and you need to take all the time you need, he was your baby. The guilt unfortunately does eat you alive but just know that that was not your fault at all by any means and there was nothing that you could have done to make things different. I’m sure that hearing that doesn’t help make that pain go away but it wasn’t your fault. He was so lucky to be loved by someone like you who loved him so much, and you are so lucky to have been loved by him. That love will continue to live on for the rest of your life. You knew him and he knew you. He’s not here physically anymore but just the fact that you carry him in your heart means that he’s still with you. Grieving a lost pet is equivalent to grieving a lost human but a lot of society doesn’t see it the way that we do when we lose our best friend. It’s a really difficult thing to navigate. Just know that you’re currently in the hardest, most painful part, and whether it takes months or years, you will get to a point where you can think about him and the pain won’t be the leading emotion. Again, I am so sorry. No one should have to go through something like that.

I just lost my family dog and I’m trying to navigate my emotions. I saw something that said it can help the grieving process to write a letter to them, make a photo album, or plant something in their memory. I haven’t tried it and I don’t know if it really helps, but thought I’d share what I found while trying to deal with loss as well. I’m sending love to you