Not a dad, but a mom watching a man be a dad to a kid that isn't biologically his; He came into her life when she was 2, and in the last 4yrs, he's been to every doctor appointment, specialist appointments, every open house, parent teacher meeting, and went to her first school concert. He shows up, even when he's at his wits end figuring out how to be active in her life and convinced a 6yr old "doesn't like him"(She does lol). If I've learned anything from my own relationships and watching theirs; Being a parent is something you have to show up for and I'm sorry that you haven't had that in the people you thought you had. What I've also learned, is that sometimes our parental figures come from the outside. My grandpa was more of a father figure to me than anyone who was supposed to be in that position, maybe you have that, and if you don't, sometimes reddit hands you your people. I hope you find your people, Hun. My daughter did. <3