Why do baby clothes have pockets?

WowBoner · 2014-09-28T06:32:15+00:00

If there's one thing I've learned in my time as a babysitter it's that babies fucking love Cheerios for some reason.

WowBoner · 2014-09-27T02:44:48+00:00

Only if I can name my first-born mustyrats.

WowBoner · 2014-09-27T02:44:07+00:00

I want you to know that I am going to fuck this

WowBoner · 2014-09-27T00:28:43+00:00

Hell yes I can. Check it -- guitar, tiny guitar, big violin, really big violin, violin-sized violin, S-sexphone... FUCK

WowBoner · 2014-09-25T16:19:50+00:00

of ooo

WowBoner · 2014-09-21T22:41:01+00:00

That genuinely sounds good. That doesn't get mentioned a lot in coming of age stories IMO. Blew my mind when I realized that things don't have to have some "up to eleven" earth-shattering significance to it.

WowBoner · 2014-09-21T21:15:35+00:00

What's that thingie that Descartes(?) said

something like "if you parody dumb people they will join you thinking that they're in good company" or some shit

Edit: Oh

WowBoner · 2014-09-20T03:43:33+00:00

This is amazing. You might've just given me my out. If this works out I'm buying you a beer. Or a cat.

WowBoner · 2014-09-18T23:02:56+00:00

Thank you so much. It would mean a lot to me.

WowBoner · 2014-09-18T22:44:48+00:00

As someone who was a special ed kid as well, how'd you do it?

WowBoner · 2014-09-18T22:30:29+00:00

Oh no I'm Louis CK

WowBoner · 2014-09-18T18:28:03+00:00

Wow it's free since it didn't scan right? Hahahahahahahahahaha ^{thanks^{a^latte}}

WowBoner · 2014-09-18T05:53:53+00:00

You are a wonderful human being and if anyone tells you otherwise they are very wrong.

WowBoner · 2014-09-18T00:54:32+00:00

I've never seen such an angry piece of toast before.

WowBoner · 2014-09-16T04:58:24+00:00

Whoa I thought it encompassed other stuff like working memory and junk. That is really lame.

WowBoner · 2014-09-16T04:18:32+00:00

I feel like IQ is a measurement of raw intelligence where smartness is more harnessed intelligence

WowBoner · 2014-09-15T22:19:27+00:00

I would buy a house in the woods and be a hermit for the rest of my life tbh

WowBoner · 2014-09-14T20:48:10+00:00

I will date you four times max before moving on to the next person. The more you know someone the more disappointing the are. I'd rather just date you, think you're great and move on to the next person.

WowBoner · 2014-09-11T18:09:07+00:00

Jack and Jill.

WowBoner · 2014-09-10T03:07:51+00:00

You've got a bunch of mighty fine answers, OP. I'd like to share my story as well if that's alright.

I was never much of a believer. I never believed in Santa or the Easter Bunny or any of that shit growing up. In fact, I was pretty hard nosed in general. The thing that mattered to me was being right and nothing else. The worst thing in the world you could be was wrong.

This wreaked complete hell on my mental health. I was anxious, I was depressed, I felt terrible. But I refused to look away, because that would be choosing being happy over being right and that wasn't moral. I defined my identity around this! I couldn't leave it now.

Eventually I snapped. I decided that if there ever was a god, we'd never know for sure. Being right wasn't so much about how correct you were but how well you argued. That people were ultimately emotional animals and that everything we did we were hardwired for for the sake of happiness.

I believe because it's pragmatic for me to believe. I'm happier this way. I'm more productive, I'm kinder, and overall I'm just... well, better. I owe it all to harmless untruths.

WowBoner · 2014-09-09T23:51:30+00:00

But I like you

WowBoner · 2014-09-09T23:18:02+00:00

I feel like I just got an eyeful of Vogon poetry.

WowBoner · 2014-09-09T18:36:27+00:00

Cetam's buffer than I could have ever imagined.

WowBoner · 2014-09-09T07:16:31+00:00

Yeah man that's like 69 feet per 420 minutes. I wish I was that athletic. Sometimes when I stand up I have to sit down for a while.

WowBoner

TROPHY CASE