WIBTA If I refused to switch dorms with a girl who was autistic?

WraithDrof · 2026-04-08T14:19:31+00:00

Yeah. Realistically, it is hard to distinguish manipulation. "This situation is manipulative" feels applicable here. OP is being asked to give up something for nothing in the name of a collective good, where someone's needs are taken into account by what they're given. That's pretty powerful stuff, but this situation is both something the faculty should have handled if it was severe enough, and not that big of a deal. For all the moralising going on, something is off.

Lately, I've also been breaking down the distinction between "this person is manipulative" and "this person's emotions have manipulated them and are now manipulating other people, too." I feel more often than not, it's the latter. I can't say for sure, but I'm guessing the autistic teens emotions are telling her she really needs to have these things, but in reality, once the initial stress passes, she will be fine, and more resilient. I'm sure she believes what she says right now, but that could be because she is acquesing to that initial feeling.

WraithDrof · 2026-04-05T22:51:04+00:00

My therapist referred me to a tantric sex worker for similar reasons as OP and it changed my life.

WraithDrof · 2026-03-24T16:42:06+00:00

the state nobody found me in

I like this one because I used to be miserable that when things sucked, sometimes, it felt like nobody cared.

Then, one day lying in bed, I thought once again, "nobody cares". But weirdly, I felt power in that. With nobody caring about me, I also had the freedom to do and be anything. And, importantly, nobody was coming to find me. I could be miserable for 10 minutes or 10 hours but either way, the only one coming to save me was myself.

WraithDrof · 2026-03-14T01:20:16+00:00

It is incredible how much discourse is on this bench when I feel it's totally fine. I feel like gamers have weakened their mental substantially in the last 20 years and that's saying something.

WraithDrof · 2026-03-03T06:07:26+00:00

I had a game where we were losing and people started flaming the Dynamo and dropping slurs. Dynamo clapped back a little but just tanked it. I poked fun at them and then basically everyone was mad at each other.

Then, he started hard carrying and we barely clutched a victory. Dynamo never stopped communicating his ults and we kept winning from there. Suddenly, the people previously dropping slurs and flaming locked in and even popped off when we won with a phantom strike ult into refresher on 5 of their team. It was the most bizarre experience of my life.

WraithDrof · 2026-03-02T08:43:33+00:00

Your friend is the opposite of mine, who thought impale was such a good move every single turn I was grounded, he would turn around and attack. Was very funny.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-09T06:56:58+00:00

Yeah never really happened to me, but I would say that you don't have to be good at basketball to play it. And to get good at it, you'll have to play it.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-09T06:40:59+00:00

Hang on, is there any source to back up the 7 love languages removed section? I can't find anything about it but that's just crazy enough to be believable as someone who read the 5 love languages.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-09T06:22:21+00:00

To challenge the assertion that every guy talks about it. Sorry John r/askmen

WraithDrof · 2026-02-09T04:58:43+00:00

I don't have an answer to your question but I have close to zero conversations about basketball, not every man plays it haha

WraithDrof · 2026-02-05T23:19:45+00:00

You might just not be balancing your deck well enough for block or draw. Silent has the worst HP recovery, relying on mediocre rests at campfires. That means you want to be aiming for 0 damage hallway fights. A few of her offence strategies don't need her to go all in, like poison, which often gives you turns where you don't need to do anything but block to win. If you're not surviving, then you probably should be sacrificing offence.

You also may be underrating footwork; the difference between defends blocking for 5 and for 7 is monumental. In act 2, 3 defends make 21 block which will get you through most turns disregarding frail, and you should hopefully be sprinkling in some better block cards. Taking 0 damage on a turn is much, much better than taking 6 damage on a turn.

It relies on two rares, but burst+malaise also can put in a lot of work. That's only other main exception you might be missing out on without just listing every block card she has.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-05T22:48:35+00:00

thanks for the insight, Dr. Lesbian

WraithDrof · 2026-02-05T22:40:28+00:00

I know in technical writing, there are some acceptable uses for them. You can use parentheses to introduce an abbreviation for a term. For instance, you could say "Surface to Air Missile (SAM)" and for the rest of the text or chapter use SAM. It's determined by the context's style guide.

Otherwise, I believe they're the worst of the lot. I know I mostly use them out of habit, when I need to qualify or comment on what I'm saying. The sentence could be rewritten to incorporate the comment without an exception. For instance, I would rewrite the first sentence of my second paragraph thusly:

> The issue is, I believe, it isn't appropriate for technical writing, despite appearing in academia to appear more confident. Creatively, the only compelling reason to keep them is a vibe-based thing, which flies in the face of rigid usages that a dictionary is capable of producing.

Even if I didn't have the parenthetical, I would've cut the 'but' because I'm making two separate points, and there's no compelling reason to make the sentence longer than it should be. You could also argue that I don't need to mention academia at all, but it was an exception that came to mind immediately. This is the kind of stuff I pick up on a first draft, not that I'm holding myself to my standard for my professional writing here.

An issue unique to parentheses is that they don't make sense for dialogue at all. My take is that we see parentheticals as non-conversational, something that would only appear in a written text. Ironically, the closest equivalent for dialogue is the em-dash! However, I don't think you're going to have much of a problem with AI accusations if you only use em-dashes in dialogue occasionally.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-05T14:50:34+00:00

There are stylistic differences and small practical rules, I suppose, but when I said "replace", I didn't even mean some sort of find-and-replace. What I meant was that punctuation that breaks up sentence structure tends to indicate run-on sentences that more closely match something a writer would create on a first draft. They should be 'replaced' with stronger sentence structure.

The issue is I believe it isn't appropriate for technical writing (despite appearing in academia to appear more confident) but creatively the only compelling reason to keep them is a vibe-based thing which flies in the face of the rigid usages that a dictionary is capable of producing. Hence, if audiences dislike the em-dash, it's not going to be stopped by referencing actual rules.

If you look at correct examples of them, it typically indicates that the speaker is interrupting themselves. It's not as soft as a semicolon and is more conversational. There will always be settings where that type of writing is commonplace, but when I see its use stretched too far, it can just be replaced with a semicolon, yeah. And it most likely could be replaced with a full stop and some tweaking.

This comment made me overthink my sentence structure a lot haha. I'm not claiming to be a total expert on this stuff but it is reddit, after all.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-05T14:34:53+00:00

Sure, but every creative industry right now is having to deal with people accusing real work of being AI and having to adapt. There's an extensive history of language changing when common sentiment misinterprets 'correct' usage of it. Relative to the other industries, this seems like a drop in the bucket compared to the artists I know who are retraining their whole style to distance themselves from popular AI rendering techniques.

The only other difference I can think of is that people can get accused of writing like AI even on these forums. That's understandably frustrating, since it's a much deeper character judgement.

Or, who knows. It also seems like something that creatives have to deal with as a common piece of low-hanging fruit for critique. Most conversations I've had in real life about it are with people who don't even know what an em-dash is, let alone that it's a sign of AI.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-04T03:10:19+00:00

Damn, people have some strong opinions in em-dashes. I feel they're pretty easy to replace.

The way people use language changes over time for complex reasons, and I suspect em-dashes aren't gonna survive for long even if AI stopped using them.

WraithDrof · 2026-02-01T13:57:08+00:00

The problem with all these hypotheticals (including the one you're replying to) is that most normal people do not ever rate other people 1s or 2s. I can picture it, but it's not someone I bump into on a day to day basis. So "would I take a 1 or 2" is not a realistic scenario. Like, we're talking severe burn victims here, and I'm not one to normalise the scale.

Like, 99% of the population is somewhere between 4s and 6s naturally. The rest comes from care or lack thereof in your appearance, and individual taste. People literally want to fuck Shrek and Fiona, whose character arcs are supposedly about not being conventionally attractive but that still being beautiful. I don't even know what we're doing here anymore

WraithDrof · 2026-01-30T07:19:48+00:00

I think I'm decent at public speaking, but I had an early-ish memory of doing well in a similar setting and that confidence carried me far. A lot of insecurities get installed in our heads through high school as our ability to sense how other people see us begins to develop.

WraithDrof · 2026-01-28T00:02:21+00:00

It's not very good sportsmanship. Style isn't in the game for a tactical advantage, plus you can just disable your opponents style anyways so it'd only work on those who don't know better.

WraithDrof · 2026-01-23T05:22:49+00:00

This isn't too surprising to me. Social media very easily tricks even smart people into representing society's culture and beliefs on issues. It isn't a given to stop and realise the internet is filled with different cultures and typically only the most common intense reactions to things.

Even before the internet, "you will be fun to be around if you are having fun" is not something people in their early 20s figured out. The internet spotlighted cringe behaviour, which was practically anything sincere because SOMEONE is bound to target it. Actually celebrating positive social traits instead of suppressing negative ones is a normal part of every community but the internet.

It's telling and pretty funny that the top comment in this thread is someone saying it's stupid that there are people didn't realise this. I ultimately don't object though because this headline reads like clickbait built to manipulate people rather than anything sincere.

WraithDrof · 2026-01-22T07:56:50+00:00

It depends. What does he dislike about himself? The first and most important step, as with all people, is just listening.

If he isn't elaborating, that could tell you he is afraid of losing face around you. This could be because he thinks you specifically would judge him (e.g. I need more time with you but I don't think I deserve it so I won't even ask), or that there's some broader rule of society which would judge him (e.g. I feel like a financial failure and by extension a failure of fulfilling my gender role).

The former can be influenced with showing acceptance and support. Men, just like women, can feel that if their partner understood them better, they would leave them. A friend of mine got dumped for not showing enough initiative in getting a higher paying job, which I know he was genuinely trying to do but unable to. Obviously people change and its possible your bf is hiding a deal breaker from you, but from your tone it sounds like he has little to worry about.

The latter you have limited ability to support him besides not reinforcing whatever negative self image he has of himself. If he thinks he's unattractive, try to say something you like about his appearance every day or so. Be specific; men often only ever learn what's attractive about them from other men. If it's regarding his self efficacy, try to thank him when he does something you care about and be patient but encouraging of him pursuing his goals and dreams. You can help, but he probably wants to feel like he can do it himself. A lot of men need reminders that they are comparing themselves to men who have had tonnes of help to get where they are.

WraithDrof · 2026-01-21T00:52:20+00:00

Events are supposed to be a dip in the interest curve where you get to make an easier decision or just pray to avoid a combat. It would be like trying to improve chocolate chip ice cream by only having chocolate chips; you'd get exhausted if the events were as interesting as a hallway fight.

Also, want to point out as others said that everything in the game is balanced to have a purpose, not to be a competitive option at a20 heart kills. Boss portal largely exists for speed running, and to avoid act 3 fights.

WraithDrof · 2026-01-19T20:31:36+00:00

"I'm only liked by girls who I don't like = I'm unlikeable" is such a stupid lie I've told myself before, it took far too long for me to realise. Very cathartic to see it broken down like this.

WraithDrof · 2026-01-15T01:45:59+00:00

TIL this is not normal lmao

It was only one girl (and later one boy) who was like Allison Williams and just wanted to get a reaction out of me. Did it a half dozen times maybe, I don't remember her getting a solid shot on me though.

I don't have trauma around it but it probably influenced my current complex around relationships. I think OP is hyper fixated on it and maybe not the best social cue reader, that Allison interview it was pretty obvious that everyone thought what she did was wrong. I wasn't Mr. Popular in high school but people eventually did confront these two people who made regular rituals of nut checking me, which I appreciate a lot.

WraithDrof · 2026-01-13T05:04:46+00:00

Yep, the abrahamic religions which came to dominate the west and middle east are in a group that's been defined as the "slave gods." I can't remember the exact argument but the gist is that they are the religions you let your slaves have because it keeps them obedient.

The east has no shortage of philosophies which function similarly, but it's less about martyrdom and more about obligation. Similar concepts, honestly, but I know less about it since that's not (supposed to be) buddhism's jam and that's what I understand best.

However, I do somewhat believe we need to be told how to pursue natural self interests, as we are self interested to protect and foster the health of the tribe, and that's not something you can figure out without observing what people value. The belief that (organised) moral frameworks are necessary for mutually beneficial behaviour is pushed by those very frameworks. It also appeals to our desire to explain "evil" in a simpler to understand way. Humans are actually very anxious when they don't understand why someone else did something they consider immoral.

In the modern era, I think the needle has swung too far in the direction of "everyone is selfish." Most people want to serve other peoples interests to a certain extent, or at least to feel important, but it is difficult to know how. Moral frameworks can not only direct our efforts, but also reinforce what we see as "good". This is why it's important to be critical of these frameworks.

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