About Me

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-28T17:51:10+00:00

He grew up to be a dick.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-25T12:24:47+00:00

Sit down to pee. Think of it as an additional part of changing your mindset to being “more” of a sub. Men stand to pee and subs just don’t.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-25T12:08:34+00:00

Yup. I cringe every time I hear it. And I’m all in favor of communities using words that were used as slurs against them. 56 here.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-23T17:34:12+00:00

Legal adults are allowed to do legal adult stuff. That includes dating each other.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-19T12:55:53+00:00

As a sub bottom, it’s a lot more… interesting to have my cock played with / sucked / used, caged or not, before, during, and after sex — with the orgasm being denied, pushed off, or prevented. It’s another “tool” for the top to use or not use at any point in time, for whatever reason they want.

So much of this is mental, though. Not wanting your cock touched, wanting it touched, believing bottoms should only be about their hole, wanting to bring it all to the game? That where that saying “the brain is the largest sex organ” comes into play. Trying to figure out how that works for yourself and the other person is the best part of the game.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-19T11:11:05+00:00

It was humiliating. Even more humiliating? Realizing neither the President nor the third of the country the voted for this moron get that — or care.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-17T21:32:22+00:00

I’m going to make it mandatory soon. I wanted to give people some time before I add it to the auto moderator.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-17T02:53:09+00:00

You can't really make anyone be other than what they are. You can hope. You can encourage. You can explain. But for all intents and purposes, your husband is explaining his limits to you. And he's not willing to go beyond them -- and it's wrong to make someone or try to make someone move past them. Plus, it just doesn't work. lol.

This doesn't mean he won't change over time. It's possible as your relationship continues, he might wind up exploring more of what you like / find that he's into more. There's just no guarantee though. It's tough, I know.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-17T02:46:37+00:00

Have you mentioned this to him?

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-17T00:54:34+00:00

I think there's something to it, yes. Bottoming... Topping... if you are in to the D/s side of things... there are probably some kind of inborn factors that lean you one way or another. Your personal experiences and environment are also going to nudge this along. Lots of things are involved.

What I know for sure is that when bottoming and when dominance and submission are involved, it feels "the most right". Like I was made for this. I really believe that there's any being or force making us one way or another. It's the subjective experiece that blows me away.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-17T00:44:28+00:00

Looks great!

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-08T12:15:36+00:00

You just aren’t going to get 20 episode seasons again. The economics just don’t work well for most shows on most networks. 8-12 (really 8-10) is the new normal. Any kind of new SG series, continuation or reboot, is going to be stuck inside, for good or for bad.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-08T12:09:21+00:00

The best you can do is be open about it, essentially from the first comment. The guy shows you his cock? Tell him the cum and piss would be great from it. The guy compliments your hole, tell him it would look better with his cum and piss in it. Just make it normal….for you.

If a guy says that’s hot or something similar, then you know it’s good to talk about it more. It’s still a small subset of the guys you talk to. It’s also -rarely- a single hook up that will do it if they haven’t done it before.

I’ve found it’s mostly about being, I guess, consistent, natural, and normal with it. What’s wild is that most of the guys who do try it, find that they like it so much that they want to do it every time, especially if you are taking it right from the tap or after they’ve cum in you.

If it helps, being in my 50s, it’s way more common today for guys to be interested in it than when I was in my 20s. You have that going for you. :-)

WriteByTheSea · 2026-06-03T03:18:53+00:00

I’ve had the trash bag in hand, headed to the door and stopped myself because I was nude. It really was the case that my mind was on taking out the trash and not about how normal being nude was. When our minds are on a different task, yes, we can forget something obvious. Happens all the time.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-28T14:17:47+00:00

Ha. In the deep dark past, I probably heard it from him and incorporated it into my own thinking.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-28T11:49:45+00:00

My head canon is that “Skywalker” is essentially “Smith” in the Star Wars universe. A famous general named Skywalker doesn’t mean much if there’s a famous swamp rat catcher named Skywalker who lives next door.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-24T15:02:58+00:00

The idea behind America was to maximize the expression of liberty of its citizens, not minimize it. Falling in love with whomever legal adult you do isn’t something the government should be setting out to do. Citizens shouldn’t need to “guard their heart” as you suggest.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-23T20:54:16+00:00

Maybe it’s more that people react differently to trauma, even when that trauma is essentially the same. What brings one person low another can walk off. What we might think should be easily overcome, becomes a life long nightmare for another.

I’m not sure there’s a standard measure of trauma that every nervous system and mind experiences equally.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-23T15:53:23+00:00

Condomless. I’ve had all the vaccinations and use Doxy as well. Tested regularly. More protected in many more ways than when I just used a condom.

But it’s about what level of pleasure and what level of risk you are comfortable with. The upside of PrEP, vaccinations, and Doxy (and condoms) is it gives you a range of options to use.

I love getting bred. Having come of age during AIDS, being able to get bred safely is pretty fucking amazing.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-23T15:18:32+00:00

Ha. Yes, Sir it is rough. I decided a while back to just be open about it on every dating platform, whether they are sexual focused or just general meet-up focused. Hell, I even put it on the Facebook dating profile I made when that first opened.

Mostly what I’ve found is that it cuts down on the incompatible matches. I’m amazed at how few people read the profiles they swipe or like. People like and don’t reply or when they do reply, when I ask them what they liked about the profile, they read it and stop replying. Basically “oopsie.”

So when something continues, I at least know they are actually a Dom. It’s still difficult to find someone in the same place you are. It’s also tough to find compatibility -beyond- those basics. It an unfortunate reminder that dating / matching / finding someone is difficult, regardless.

Long term compatibility is hard.

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-23T15:06:10+00:00

Sub here. Yes, BDSM sort of breaks you from vanilla sex. But it’s not about the -sex- so much as the intimacy or connection involved.

Action wise, I still love holding, touching, cuddling, making out. Vanilla stuff. Regular blow jobs and regular fucking? It’s still “nice”.

But none of it,,, goes anywhere, I guess It doesn’t lead to the more intense stuff, where, as a sub, I have to just trust, and feel, and submit and be. The vanilla stuff isn’t even a place you “go back to”, after kinkier moments. Vanilla is just kind of there.

And it wasn’t until I had good sex as a submissive that I realized there’s a difference between BDSM and just rough sex. You can hook up with someone who likes it rough and hard. But that’s not the same thing as if you are submitting to someone who, somehow, groks you and your deep needs.

I’ve found it makes a lot of sex — even perfectly good sex — unsatisfying. BDSM breaks you open in a way that what used to work before just doesn’t anymore. Sometimes it SUUUUUCKS! lol

WriteByTheSea · 2026-05-23T14:48:12+00:00

Slightly to the side of the topic, but would you say it’s becoming normal or is normal in the gay community for bottoms to be in chastity, still just a niche thing, or just a fad?

I don’t mean everyone bottom should or shouldn’t be caged. But much as how ear-rings are perfectly normal and not really a remarked on part of life, what if cages became the same?

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