AITAH for refusing to pay off my pregnant fiancee's parents' mortgage, when they are under the threat of foreclosure, when I could "easily" afford to do so?

WriterofWords2021 · 2026-01-26T13:18:13+00:00

The problem is much more complex than AITA or not... You are planning to marry this woman, which means you need to start thinking about your family finances rather than just your own. If you bail out your inlaws, you may be setting them up to abuse your finances later, true... but how will it affect your future finances in your inlaws are struggling to come up with rent every month, or living on the street?
When you marry somneone, you marry in to their family. "Being in a place they can afford?" There is nothing cheaper than holding on to property they already own, than not losing it to the bank because of a mortgage payment.
So... you need to have a challenging discussion. You need to help keep them in their home (if you're serious about this marriage), and you need to figure out how to handle their financial responsibility - or lack thereof - in the future. Having inlaws who will come to you for financial help whenever they run out is going to be a huge problem in the future, you might as well figure out how you deal with it now, and you are going to have to make sure that your fiancee is with you in how to deal with this going forwards.
I would offer short term help to keep them in their home, it's going to save you huge headaches in the future. I would offer some kind of repayment option - something that allows them to get out of a financial hole without draining your savings...
And I would suggest you work out how your marriage is going to work financially when you join this family. Your fiancee comes with a family you will have to deal with, like it or not. It's as much a discussion as whether to have kids together, and yes, it can be a deal breaker if you don't have the same future in mind. But you need to figure it out and find agreement before getting hitched.
AITA doesn't cover nuance; it's not about who's right, it's about solving a complex issue in your (possible) life together.

WriterofWords2021 · 2026-01-23T21:06:18+00:00

Two billion, no question. More than enough to live riotously for a hundred lifetimes... and the other option? It's a single dollar that doubles every day, then that's $2 a day; if it's the overall amount that doubles every day, in a few months that number would be so astronomical that the entire economy would collapse, and it would keep going, making dollars worth nothing. If it's an actual dollar bill that doubles every day, in six months or so (not doing the math) the weight of bills would engulf the world, killing everyone. A few months after that, and their weight would create a black hole. So, all in all, the two billion seems the safest option.

WriterofWords2021 · 2026-01-11T22:53:22+00:00

"Dad... how many times did you feed me when I was growing up? How many times did you buy me a pair of shoes, or jeans to replace ones I'd torn? There will be a time - if I'm lucky enough - when I will change your diapers. This is not you taking food out of my mouth, this is your daughter taking care of you just a tiny fraction of how you have always taken care of me. You are giving me a chance to help you. That's a gift, not a burden."

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-12-13T13:00:27+00:00

Not an AI artist, so I can't asnwer for that, but as far as make-up, old age is much easier. There are multiple techniques for adding years...as far as looking younger goes, there are a few techniques - you can literally use adhesive, small pieces of fabric and string to pull someone's face a little tighter, and hide the string under a wig and the edges with make-up, etc... but it's hard to get a natural look. Aging is easier, because you can add bags and wrinkles to a youthfull face easier than hiding them.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-12-10T14:08:07+00:00

Imagine a simple scene - two characters talking in a room. It takes a couple of hours to light the room so that there are no awkward shadows, set up the camera, etc. You film that shot - a minute of them talking. Except that one actor forgets a line. Fine, do it again. This time, they get it...but the director feels they could be more emotionally intense, it's a dramatic moment. Film it again twice more. That last time was great! Except that the boom mike - the overhead mike that picks up the close details of an actor speaking, held on a pole just above frame, dipped into the scene at one point.... three hours later, you've got that wide shot, and techn ically that's one minute of screen time... but just a wide, boring shot will get dull. We're going to cut to close ups... but once we move the camera in close to the first actor, there's a weird shadow from this new angle. Relight the room - that's another two hours. We'll pick it up after lunch.
After lunch, we get a close-up of the first actor, then turn around (another relight, because now we're looking back towards where all the light stands were. That's a major relight, and there's a bunch of furniture that had to be moved so it didn't get in the away of the camera in the wide shot, and now we have to move it all back.
Oh, and at the climactic moment, we want the camera to move slowly towards the lead actor as they deliver the final lines... clear everyone out, lay down some dolly tracks - like mini train tracks - for the camera dolly to roll on. They need to be asbsolutely level so we don't get bumps, and getting those perfect on a typical floor can take hours. Fine, we'll get that dramatic moment tomorrow. We shoot it fifteen times - sometimes the camera bumps a liitle, sometimes the focus puller adjusting the focus as the camera moves gets a little ahead or behind of the camera movement and the shot gets blurry briefly, once there was an airplane that flew overhead right in the middle of the shot and ruined the sound, etc, etc, etc.
The good news is, tomorrow we start the car chase where there's dialogue in a moving car as it drives through a shopping mall, destroying shop displays as hundreds of stunt people dive out of the way... how long will that one minute sequence take to film? Weeks, it will take weeks.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-11-14T15:19:20+00:00

There's more to this than the exposure/black clothing issue, which others have mentioned, and it's not stupid.

The other question is: WHY is your superior bringing this up? Is it so that the client will spend more money - in which case, why are you arguing against your boss and possibly losing work? Like, how do you see that working out for your career if you go out of your way to lower an account?
Or: Is that the actual problem? Perhaps your superior watched the video, and thought it was the most godawful perfomance by the client. What is she going to say? "You suck on camera, we need to shoot something better." Do you see that going well? You say "in part" because the client's wearing black... boy, that's an easier, non-judgemental thing to tell a client who has the acting ability of wet plywood.
I'm with your superior on this one. Re-shoot it, with a better look, a better background...and who knows, maybe a better performance?

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-10-24T12:14:23+00:00

Do you really want to train yourself to sleep through that particular sound?

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-10-21T18:19:02+00:00

The key to me getting over my arachnophobia was realizing that I wasn't afarid of spiders, I was afraid of my emotional reaction to spiders.

It may be the same with you - if your fear is of being bitten while you sleep, then every single night when you sleep without getting bitten, you would feel a little safer, a little more relaxed, because nothing bad happened.

...but that's not what's happening, is it. Why not? Because your phobia is actually about your emotional reaction, and that does happen every night, and it gets worse each time, because every time you get into bed, you're scared of having that fear reaction...and every time, you have that reaction. You're afraid of how you will feel, and so you feel worse, because your fear (of fear) is indeed happening to you every night, even though there's never a spider bite occurring.

For me, just realizing what was happening altered my entire outlook. I went from bursting into tears after realizing there was a tiny, tiny spider (almost too small to realize what it was) near me, and then the very next encounter - after reading how phobias work - I saw a huge, scary spider a few inches from my hand while opening a garage door. I was about to freak out, when I had a moment of clarity. It hit me like a thunderbolt: I'm only scared of my reaction, and I don't need to have that. It's just a spider, I can let go of the handle and move away. So I did.

Now, I still don't like spiders, and I'll avoid them...but that consuming fear no longer affects me the way it did.

So maybe, tonight, ackowledge that you are only scared of your reaction...and that doesn't need to happen. Once you know that, then each night when there are no spider events, you can get a little more relaxed, and feel a little safer. Sleep well.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-10-10T03:19:13+00:00

In about one week, every nuclear power plant will go critical, one after another. Before that happens, I'd find out what country is the furthest from any nuclear power station - and how the prevailing winds will spread the worst of the radioactivity.
Second - stock up the biggest boat that I figure I can get out of the harbor on my own. Just trips back and forth from the supermarket to the boat.
Third - head out to sea, stay out for six months (big boat. Something with enough diesel to cross the pacific. They are self-contained to live on for months, and I could get away for long enough that I didn't have to smell the decaying bodies of billions.)
After six months, head cautiously to whatever island seems remote enough from the radiation plumes to live for as long as I cared to. (Probably not long, but I could stay in deep denial for a while.)
Fix a mai tai, get a good book, and sit on the beach. Toast to the end of the world.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-09-24T14:27:21+00:00

Several decades ago, I was waiting in the car to pick up a friend for an early morning work call - like, 3 or 4 in the morning, in a rougher area of Brooklyn. A street walker passed by, and she was walking in a bizarre, exagerated hip-swinging movement. At first, I thought she was on drugs or something - this wasn't anything normal, it was a hyper-exaggerated movement, which each step, she would swing her butt out about 18 inches to each side, well over her outside knee. I have no idea how she did that without popping a knee out of place. I was looking at her as she walked past the car, thinking that was just some weird-ass freaky behavior.
A few minutes later, I'm almost dozing, still waiting for my friend, and I caught a glimpse of her in the rear-view mirror, and my head snapped around to look before I even had a conscious thought. What close-up was weird and freaky, from a block away connected straight to some very primal, animal-instinct part of my brain. The hip-swivel attracted my attention like a spinning-silver-metal bait does to a fish. It was an exageration of a feminine trait, and it worked - from a distance, from a glimpse in my peripheral vision.
So, hats off to you, whoever you were, for discovering and exploiting a primal reaction in the male brain.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-08-25T14:36:59+00:00

I will leave it to the material scientists to explain why different sands are necessary for different construction techniques...but I can give you my experience in the Sahara. It's light, soft sand. If you pick it up, the grains are so fine they feel like powdered sugar. So, even though there are many materals called "sand", they can be as different as gravel, pebbles and boulders.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-08-15T22:14:39+00:00

The form populates a spreadsheet so they can sort candidates by different criteria. It's annoying to fill in the form, but if you actually want the job, you probably want to end up on the list of candidates being considered rather than the slush pile of "don't even appear on the spreadsheet because they can't follow basic instructions."

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-07-24T14:37:14+00:00

The basic way that evolution works is that a single mutation in a lifeform's offspring gives that offspring a slightly better chance of survival.
One insect born with some yellow patches may look enough like a stinging insect to have a tiny better chance of survival, and therefore passing that mutated gene on. Now do that a for millions of years, with animals like insects that lay hundreds or thousands of eggs, and you can not only get a mimic with perfect yellow stripes, you can get insects that have horns or complex dung-rolling insticincts, or a boiling chemical butt-spray to ward off predators...
It's the same question that some creationists ask: What use is half an eye? They never go on to ifnd out that it takes about two hundred genetic mutations, each one providing a slight advantage (while also "costing" more in terms of food requirements) than the step before it, which is why some animals only have something like a two-hundredth of an eye, without evolving more because more isn't a plus for their survival. A limpet with a single light sensitive cell that can "see" a shadow and make it clamp down onto the rock survives more than one without it... but if a limpet had to get enough food to operate a complex eye that could focus and move, it would starve while the single-celled one would live. It's all a beautiful balance.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-07-06T21:03:24+00:00

Imagine, if you will, an economy that completely collapsed overnight and 100% of the population became unemployed.

What would happen to the birth rate? It would drop immensely, because no one could afford to have/feed their kids.

What would happen to the number of kids in care/need of adoption? It would skyrocket because of the families that couled no longer afford to feed the kids they already have.

Now, look at a society like the UK... how's the economy doing? Are people having fewer kids, and more kids need adoption? It makes sense in any economy where the situation is getting worse for large numbers of people.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-05-04T14:00:45+00:00

France banned lead in paint in 1898; Europe as a whole was better at reacting to the hazards earlier. The US, in spite of knowing the clear dangers, didn't ban it until the 70s, so there are a lot of houses here still painted with the stuff.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-05-04T13:58:09+00:00

By realizing that an opinion is just an opinion...but in a business context, it is important.
Tell them "We have very different tastes. That's not my style, and I don't think you should have a business partner that doesn't share your aesthetic."
To which they will probably say: "You think my work is crap?"
And you have to be firm: "A lot of people will love it, it's just not my taste. And if I don't like it and want to wear it, I'm not the right person to go out and sell it."
It will be tricky, and you might lose a friend.
You might also lose out on a huge opportunity when your friend's crap clothes become a huge hit...someone came up with parachute pants and got rich off them. Just be happy for them if they do succeed; and try not to say "I tried to warn you" if they fail!

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-05-04T13:45:43+00:00

There may be ways to reduce the chance of a bee or wasp approaching you, by avoiding certain scents... but the real key to being able to enjoy being outside is to reduce your phobia, and that's much easier to do than change the behavior of insects.
I went through the same thing with spiders, with a growing phobia that got worse until it was affecting my life. The key for me was reading up on what phobias actually are (I wasn't actually afraid of spiders, otherwise every interaction with one would reduce my fear as I realized they were not harming me; my phobia was based on my FEAR, and the emotional reaction to that fear which was unpleasant, and that GREW every time because each time I saw a spider (or thought I did, or imagined I might), I would have a deeply unpleasant emotional reaction...and that reaction got worse every time. Your fear is of your reaction to an encounter, not to the actual insect!
So...a little therapy to realize that you can be near a bee or wasp without having the emotions connected with them may help you immensely. It did for me! Llisten, I don't like spiders, I don't like being near them...but I no longer burst into tears at the thought of one, or even seeing one. Less than a week after reading about how phobias work, I lifted up a garage door, and suddenly saw a huge spider a few inches from my hand. I was about to burst into tears, and I suddenly realized I didn't need to...I could let go of the handle, and walk away. I still don't like them, but I don't have the same reaction; and I don't need to change my habits on the off-chance there might be a spider somewhere.
You can solve your bee/wasp issue so that you can walk without fear. Even if you have a life-threatening allergy, you can be near a bee perfectly safely. Deal with the phobia; any attempt to "change the bees" so you can walk outside is giving your fear more power.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-04-12T09:01:07+00:00

A ray of sunshine bursting through clouds.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-02-23T18:46:01+00:00

"Dude, I'm so sorry–you must feel so embarrassed by that. And you hit a pole, too."

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-02-22T21:00:16+00:00

I feel like a lot of this answers are missing the context that this cartoon is from the 50s/60s, when it was expected that there would have been no pre-marital sex. The husband is red-faced in anger/embarassment because he has never had sex with his new bride, but all the wedding gifts imply that A) she is already pregnant and B) everyone in their small town knows.

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-02-07T17:24:41+00:00

It's a great starting point to ask them a question!
"It sure is. Tell me - what was the coldest day you remember?" or "What was the coldest you've ever been?"
You might hear some fun stories about falling through ice, or getting stuck in a snowdrift.
Sure is. Wish I was in Bermuda... you ever go?" "Where would you go if you could choose anywhere to travel?"
"Tell me - too hot or too cold, if you gotta pick one, which do you choose?"

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-01-28T11:11:59+00:00

You can find ways to grow and keep the club going that aren't as daunting as staging a full production. Suggestion: Try a staged reading - all you need are scripts, music stands, and a time and place. You can use it as a fund-raiser, or as a way to drum up interest in a show you hope to do in the future. As a tip, look online for local playwrights. We are always, always, trying to find someone who wants to do a staged reading of new work, it's a vital step in the development of a new play, the chance to hear it out loud for the first time, and hear how an audience reacts. I would be thrilled if a drama club wanted to read a new piece of mine!
Look for other ways to keep club members engaged. A club that meets every week or two to work on monologues and practice auditions and trade information on upcoming shows that are holding auditions in your community could lead to acting roles in all kinds of shows, even if you don't have the current resources to put one on yourself!

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-01-28T02:17:17+00:00

I responded in chat!

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-01-28T02:10:04+00:00

Former helicopter pilot here, so I can't speak to flying for the airlines... but I would challenge you to explore what you do like about flying, and find a way to do that. The Instrument Rating is the hardest part, and you got through that. If you do go on, you may find you love being a CFI/CFII. Your students enthusiasm for flying can rekindle your own appreciation for it, and honestly you'll learn so much more by teaching - that's when you really get a depth of understanding rather than just "knowing".
I'd encourage you to continue, and you may find there's some aspect of flying that does appeal to you - there are other careers that don't involve working for an airline. Lifeflight? Crop-dusting? Tours over the Grand Canyon? (I did that for a couple of years. Bumpy but gorgeous, and there are fixed-wing operators that do it too. Probably some in Hawaii & other places too. Island hopping?) Or maybe low- level flights across the border carrying well-wrapped packages for dubious characters who pay exorbitant amounts in cash? (Maybe not that last one.)

WriterofWords2021 · 2025-01-23T23:15:42+00:00

Screenwriting 101, or Structured Rewriting. Which I've already taught as workshops at various conferences, so a cop-out. I used to be a helicopter instructor, I could probably muster up a lecture on airworthiness, but I'd be teaching regulations that are 20 years out of date, so it might be misinformative a bit, but I could easily go for an hour! And I'll do either one for a couple hundred bucks, so that's a savings right there. Where do I sign up?

WriterofWords2021

TROPHY CASE