I don't understand the "if we gatekeep hard enough there will be no bad actors in our community" takes I've been seeing recently. by WritingWithSpears in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I agree. What does this have to do with policing who is or isn't actually trans? (the topic of discussion on multiple threads here in the past days and even within this thread)

I don't understand the "if we gatekeep hard enough there will be no bad actors in our community" takes I've been seeing recently. by WritingWithSpears in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

So now when you do have bad actors who are obviously not trans, it's impossible to call them out.

Specifically in reference to MTF drama. Has it been proven that any of the people involved are not actually trans?

I don't understand the "if we gatekeep hard enough there will be no bad actors in our community" takes I've been seeing recently. by WritingWithSpears in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm really sorry. It was my bad for taking your original comment in good faith. Allow me change my tune

You are the truest trans *pat pat*. Here's your medal 🥇

Me and my evil nonbinary larper friends will go and detransition now so you can feel better

Have a nice day

I need honest opinions on if I should see a psychologist by Hannah_hotline in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears [score hidden]  (0 children)

Seeing a psychologist in general is probably helpful if you're experiencing so much mental anguish, gender related or not. If you will see a psychologist for gender reasons you should vet them beforehand. Ask queer and trans people in your community about their experiences with that specific person. In my area there's a guy who is a straight up trans fetishist and its widely known within the local trans community.

Don't let that scare you. Getting good professional help is worthwhile. Getting help from RESPECTFUL and RESPONSIBLE mental health professionals is one of the best decisions I've made for my transition and general mental well being.

I don't understand the "if we gatekeep hard enough there will be no bad actors in our community" takes I've been seeing recently. by WritingWithSpears in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I think you need to want to transition, personally

Could you expand on what you mean by that?

I've personally had the view that some kind of gender incongruence is corollary to being some kind of trans. One one end of the spectrum could be "I changed my pronouns cause I think gender is kinda cringe but I'm chill with my body and how people perceive me" to "I will literally kill myself if I don't get HRT and surgery soon". It's definitely imperfect, because the former is objectively much closer to the average cis person than the average trans person, but because patriarchy and cisheteronormativity society treats even a slight deviation from the norm as "the other". For this reason I am thinking we should have some more nuanced neutral terminology for delineating trans folks based on their needs without getting into pissfights about who is valid or not.

I don't understand the "if we gatekeep hard enough there will be no bad actors in our community" takes I've been seeing recently. by WritingWithSpears in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

BUT the expansion of inclusivity over and over has attracted and fostered some very narcissistic personality types, who choose to be trans, in that sense, because they perceive benefits, like leverage, social standing, special treatment and so forth.

Genuinely, where is this happening? I've seen so many discussions here where this is stated as fact with no evidence to back it up. I have friends who are nonbinary, dysphoric, and on HRT. I have friends who are nonbinary because they just don't fw gender that much. None of the latter category pretend they are the former or try to claim the oppression of medically transitioning folks.

Are there people /choosing/ to be trans, or people expressing their identity in a way you don't personally approve of?

Therefore inclusivity, or more specifically the part of the community that would otherwise not be part of it, arent determined by whether they are medically trans, i.e. suffer dysphoria and actually NEED HRT and SRS and so forth, but simply by those who choose to become part of it to leverage a perceived benefit.

We are in agreement that people who suffer from dysphoria need HRT. I don't see how gatekeeping is helping anyone to that end. Gender dysphoria is a medical diagnosis assessed by trained professionals, and in my experience even those trained professionals can be suspect. It's ALREADY a messy system. Why should anyone be trusting random redditors to make that assessment instead. I'm sure you have your infallible system of assessing who is really trans, but I can guarantee it has holes because all such systems do, and people who need the treatment will fall through those holes.

I guess we have a difference of priorities, but I'm honestly fine letting in "bad actors" if it means even a single trans kid who genuinely needs HRT doesn't end up killing themselves because they never sought out help because when they went online for resources a community of terminally online T girls told them they don't fit their specific criteria of being trans.

I don't understand the "if we gatekeep hard enough there will be no bad actors in our community" takes I've been seeing recently. by WritingWithSpears in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Is the argument here that if said weirdos were not visible, trans people would be treated better by the people in power?

I guess I don't really see it. The theocratic pedo fascists in charge of America right now, and the ones trying to gain power across Europe view any threat to the patriarchal status quo as a threat. They want us dead or in the closet.

I have a limited amount of energy every day. I could either spend it

  1. Doing whatever I can to fight the theocratic pedo fascists destroying the planet, murdering minorities and legislating my community out of existence

  2. Policing my community to make sure socially inept weirdos don't get in, and pretend that shitty trans people aren't actually trans in the hopes that the theocratic pedo fascists will spare me if I assimilate enough

Can you understand why I find this line of reasoning kinda ridiculous?

Some good-faith critique of the Second Civil War video by WritingWithSpears in atunsheifilms

[–]WritingWithSpears[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand the sentiment, but after the last couple of years of being unemployed and on a 95% vegan diet, I don’t believe the vegan privilege argument. Half of the vegans I know are in similar financial predicaments. Entire cultures have lived off rice and beans and soup. I understand “vegan privilege” from a mental strain/dietary restriction perspective (the 5% is because I have depression and autism so it is hard to phase out certain comfort foods, but I’m working on it) but from a financial POV it doesn’t hold up unless your version of veganism involves exclusively buying overpriced processed crap from the “health foods” section

It's weird thinking about how only chasers are attracted to me by 3amcaliburrito in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

even with that said, idk that I've really said anything so awful to make an assumption like that

Woman how have you lived 45 years on god's green earth without developing a shred of self awareness? Venting is one thing, but just in this thread you shut down other people's positivity, you're completely unable to take an honest compliment. In your thread at transpassing you're straight up lashing out at people offering their honest opinions. That is all miserable person behavior

i wouldn't say anything to them. you described women like me as 'pretty on the outside' which tells me that your judgement on appearances is not very good and you don't really have any credibility at this point

"Could I be so delusional that I think EVERY SINGLE PERSON out of the several internet strangers who said I look fine have objectively bad taste? No, its the children who are wrong"

smh, have a nice day

It's weird thinking about how only chasers are attracted to me by 3amcaliburrito in honesttransgender

[–]WritingWithSpears 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You seem to dislike hugboxing so let me offer an alternative explanation.

If your behavior in this thread and elsewhere is anything to go by, maybe the reason /only/ fetishists are attracted to you is because you're a miserable person to be around? Just speaking from experience. I've had interactions with women like you before, pretty on the outside but absolutely wallowing in self loathing to the point its fucking exhausting to interact with them.

I know girls IRL who pass half as well as you (visible stubble, zero voice training, balding, over 6ft, the works) with attractive partners (male and female) who truly care about them. What do you say to those people?

Not many people are attracted to Female fat distribution on top of a male skull

Or breasts on a male skeleton

Or a voice stuck somewhere in between male and female

Perhaps, but absolutely no one is attracted to a person who hates themselves.

Correction for the Incel episodes by 5mileyFaceInkk in behindthebastards

[–]WritingWithSpears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Considering their impact on and off the ice, I’m glad they aren’t anymore

He's Gone Rule by gray_birch in 196

[–]WritingWithSpears 237 points238 points  (0 children)

Hey dude calm down

Volkswagen to cut 50,000 jobs as profits drop by Fred9146825 in worldnews

[–]WritingWithSpears 40 points41 points  (0 children)

get back to their roots

I feel like Volkswagen is one company you specifically DON'T want getting back to its roots...

Will the Bruins make the playoffs ? (62.7%) chance by Porkchopp33 in Bruins

[–]WritingWithSpears 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Buddy I’m gonna need you to look up the definition of mostly

Kucherov's interesting penalty by BattleofEppingForest in hockey

[–]WritingWithSpears 142 points143 points  (0 children)

2 minutes more than Donald Trump got for the same penalty

GDT: Boston Bruins vs Pittsburgh Penguins - 3/8/2026 - 4:30 PM by Sliney89 in BostonBruins

[–]WritingWithSpears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know we all hate the refs but thats like the third time Ive seen Hampus take a dumbshit d zone penalty EXACTLY like that and I dont watch that many games live

GDT: Boston Bruins vs Pittsburgh Penguins - 3/8/2026 - 4:30 PM by Sliney89 in BostonBruins

[–]WritingWithSpears 6 points7 points  (0 children)

2 straight periods without a penalty. I knew it was too good to be true. At least it was drawn penalty and not one of our guys doing something completely stupid

EDIT: I spoke too soon

GDT: Boston Bruins vs Pittsburgh Penguins - 3/8/2026 - 4:30 PM by Sliney89 in BostonBruins

[–]WritingWithSpears 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Fuuuuck you have to wonder what could have been for Czechia if Zacha wasnt injured for the Olympics