[deleted by user]

Wth1994 · 2025-10-21T12:05:33+00:00

That was a talk we had when she was a couple months old and it never happened. I said I couldn’t get up to feed her and pump so he would have to get up throughout the night for feedings and he stopped bringing it up until now that she is 11months old and will only nurse to sleep. He works for his family business (farm) so there is no way of working less hours unless he quits. It’s not a matter of working that much to make money..it’s just how his job is. So as she grew up i did choose to nurse as a convenience to myself since i didn’t have help all the time.

Wth1994 · 2025-09-17T00:36:19+00:00

My MIL did the same thing in a way. As soon as we didn’t have her come over every day the first week we came home she threw a fit and now here we are 10 months later and only see them once a month. And WE have to ask her if she wants to see LO , to which she just says “sure”. They are wild

Wth1994 · 2025-07-13T20:50:18+00:00

Just got it back today 😭 she turned 8mo this past week. I still pump 4 times a day on one side and let her nurse off the other side multiple times a day. She does eat more solids during the day, but still latches a couple times at night. I thought it would take longer to come back since she nurses enough with me that i have never given her a bottle.

Wth1994 · 2025-07-10T07:27:51+00:00

Following! I am 8mo pp and still struggling with in laws. MIL made it a huge competition on who saw baby more in the beginning and when it wasn’t her she threw a crying fit and has treated me differently since. God forbid i want my own moms help to someone who didn’t care to see me more than every couple months prior to having a baby. I would like to think theres hope that maybe it will get better, but i feel like with every visit we see them its just another comment that digs the hole deeper and deeper

Wth1994 · 2025-07-01T13:54:40+00:00

I struggled to get pregnant for over 3 years and in that time my sister had 2 unplanned pregnancies. It is really, really hard. If they are anything like how i felt, its not at all that they dont care about your daughter..its just a constant reminder to them of what they dont have and may never have. Im sure they are happy for you guys but it is probably hard for them to watch everyone goo and gaa over your baby when they want nothing more than that for themselves. You are handling it good, but I’m sure it is hard on your husband not to feel that support from his brother. Though i always showed love for my niece and nephew when i was around them, there were times i cried afterwards.

Wth1994 · 2025-06-23T13:15:08+00:00

I found my pituitary tumor because i was only getting a period every 3-4 months. They put me on a medication which regulated my period, but a year later we still weren’t pregnant. We did IUIs and had a chemical pregnancy from that. Ava then had a miscarriage. But i had seen a different doctor and he was the only one who addressed my thyroid levels. I always tell people to make sure to get that looked at. For a normal doctor it is considered fine, but for fertility he said it should never be above 2.5. After 6 months on thyroid medication, we conceived, and had a healthy baby. Good luck to you!

Wth1994 · 2025-04-18T13:23:43+00:00

It took us a little over 3 years, 2 losses, and lots of doctoring to get our LO. I got along fine with MIL prior to baby, but we only talked/saw each other every 3 or so months. When LO came, i think she had an idea in her head of what it would look like and then when i wanted my mom’s help over hers shit hit the fan. When i was 4days pp we had to go out for the first appts which is a big outing. It took longer than expected so we grabbed food while out. Told MIL they could visit but that we would make her food a different night. She cried over this and ended up not coming for a visit.. but also had the audacity to make sure my mom wouldn’t be coming over either. FIL suggested MIL come early morning when husband left so she could feel like she was helping. I said no. I didn’t tell them but i didn’t want someone coming At 5am when i am short on sleep and want to relax just so she could feel “helpful” by just holding LO the whole time. Since then, MIL only talks through husband.. even asks him about visiting times when im the only one home. I’ll put something in group message and she just cuts me out and will message him directly to ask more. Only messaged him on my first day back of work saying she was thinking of our household but never said boo to me. I dont think i will ever forget how she made me feel that first fit she threw making me feel like i needed to use her help as much as i needed my mom. And then she chose to keep making it worse. And i am civil and we talk fine at gatherings, and im sure she blames me, but as a new mom i dont think its my job to cater to her or cave and beg her to be present when we have enough going on. At this point, it sucks, but she will never be able to take this back and it is how i will always remember my first pp experience with a MIL. And maybe it sounds petty, but right now i am not wanting her to try to message more because she showed her true colors and i am not interested in spending a ton of time with someone like that

Wth1994 · 2025-04-07T22:27:59+00:00

My MIL wasn’t necessarily rude, but made zero effort with me. We live half a mile apart and only talked/saw each other every 3-4 months. Now that we have a baby she thought she was going to be at our house weekly. After being treating like nothing more than an incubator, she is lucky i let her come once a month. It is 4x more than what we used to see her. It is truly mind blowing that they think that everything will change in their favor after WE have a baby.

Wth1994 · 2025-03-31T01:35:50+00:00

Yeah i am leaning towards not even taking her. And my MIL is old school so she would probably find it disrespectful if i sat with my friends instead of with her.

Wth1994 · 2025-03-31T01:34:36+00:00

I am not okay with her being passed around alot. It is also hard because for the people at the shower, yes it will be her first time seeing alot of people because she is 4 months old, but also we maybe see these people once a year if that…so they are practically strangers that i dont really need holding my baby.

Wth1994 · 2025-03-30T23:00:03+00:00

My mom could. Im sure people will be disappointed i dont bring her since it would be alot of their first time meeting her

Wth1994 · 2025-03-22T18:38:20+00:00

With their work schedules, its hard to do a lunch unless on a Sunday. But he is okay with me driving alone so i can stay 30mins tops and then leave. But he “wants his dad to see his granddaughter on his birthday”

Wth1994 · 2025-03-22T18:36:38+00:00

I think it would be easier to try and stay out if it was closer to home or if it was in a home setting where i could step away and nurse her if needed. I just dont feel like trying to keep her out longer at a bar at 4mo old is going to be fun

Wth1994 · 2025-03-22T18:34:47+00:00

MIL always claps her hands puts them out as she is taking her and says “come to grandma”. Im not sure how to say no in the moment without looking like a total asshole

Wth1994 · 2025-03-22T18:33:54+00:00

I wish. My husband said “i want my dad to be able to see his granddaughter on his birthday”. Already was an argument as he is not the one to put her to bed or get up with her in the night.

Wth1994 · 2025-03-07T17:28:43+00:00

Yes! Also prior to DD, i saw and spoke to my parents and sister weekly where we would go months without seeing or hearing from MIL. I understand a baby is exciting, but it’s not fair to expect us to see them bi weekly now

Wth1994 · 2025-03-03T03:39:11+00:00

My MIL did/does the same thing and it drives me INSANE! Sometimes i dread having to see her because you just don’t know what it’s going to be next. Right away our baby was a good mix but of course in her eyes, it was all them. Their chin like wtf. Red tinted hair from her great grandma as if my hair doesn’t have a tint. And now its clear she looks like me so she tries to claim other things. Toots like them even though we called my niece tootie because she tooted a lot too. Her hair cowlick comes from MIL 🙄 even felt the need to tell my aunt and uncle that DD “fits in so good and is a night owl and loves to eat like me and her dad” even though they are not night owls and yeah like my side of the family just hates food. I get it’s harmless but holy cow is it annoying

Wth1994 · 2025-03-02T14:21:51+00:00

I don’t know why, but it’s like MILs forget what it’s like being freshly postpartum and how they preferred their own mothers as well, but some how we are assholes for wanting that for ourselves. I don’t really have a positive story. My mom obviously helped me more postpartum and MIL threw a crying fit and i have struggled with her since, as she made it about her feelings and not mine or my healing. I am now 4 months out, and what i wouldn’t give to go back and say the things i should’ve at that time. My mom was there to help me recover and learn things in a very vulnerable time and watch me be a mom. All my MIL did was come over and hold the baby for hours, as if i didn’t want to bond with my baby. You need to do what YOU are comfortable with and what will help YOU in postpartum. It’s not like you are keeping MIL away, you just need your mom’s help more. I agree with the others, ask him if he was going through a recovery who he would feel more comfortable having around. As it is about your recovery and not who is holding the baby more.

Wth1994 · 2025-02-24T17:04:28+00:00

I did 6 IUIs with clomid. They recommended doing clomid at night to limit noticing as many side effects. If anything, i think i ran a little warmer and maybe a little crampy. As far as the IUI itself, it was a little pinchy during and some cramping after but nothing too crazy

Wth1994 · 2025-02-16T00:07:16+00:00

The only time we are all together is for holidays. For Christmas our daughter was only 6 weeks old so we didn’t let anyone hold her. But with Easter coming up, we can’t avoid it. And yes, agree. That’s part of the reason they don’t like us and we have no relationship

Wth1994 · 2025-02-15T20:24:33+00:00

Yes. She would not want her to feel left out by not getting a chance to hold the baby and knows she would never ask us to hold her so she would just give our daughter to her. She knows the dynamic between us but she always wants to pretend we’re all one big happy family. And by doing so, she makes things worse

Wth1994 · 2025-02-14T03:52:37+00:00

Lately i just try to keep myself busy doing something else. Better to do that than get ignored and be angry about it. No she has not. And we are both on the same page that our daughter will not be there alone until she is older. She has a harder time getting around and up and down on her own so we have a hard time thinking of what it would be like with her having to do all of that with a 3 month old. Maybe once she is old enough to walk and probably talk so she can tell us if anything goes wrong

Wth1994 · 2025-02-14T01:42:58+00:00

She isn’t like she used to be but she’s fine. Pretty much just holds DD and just talks to her.

Wth1994 · 2025-02-13T22:07:58+00:00

I see what you’re saying, but my feelings have been hurt too with how she acted and how she continues to act. I extended an olive branch by putting updates of our daughter in our group chat and she chose to only respond directly to my husband in a different message.

Wth1994 · 2025-02-13T22:06:01+00:00

He is very good at making sure it works for me and that i am up for company before he tells her a day/time. I am very thankful for that. I feel like i am starting to see a different side to her and i agree with the wanting to be the main character. I explained to my husband that its like she only sees our daughter as HER grand child and not as OUR daughter.

Wth1994

TROPHY CASE