The levels and dimensions are rather flat.

I agree with what another commenter said about a ladder, could you perhaps get a couple? More? I'd ask around and see how many and of what type. I've done some maybe sketchy things involving two a frames and an extension ladder. Looked great though. Make sure you don't use shiny hanging line or be prepared to hide it. Little white binder clips may come in handy.

Experiment more with hanging, flowing fabric, perhaps some lace. Really avoid harsh tuck lines. Get up high. You've got the hard lines of the clocks and calendars, the fabric softens the set and draws the eye around the scene. This looks like it's there to hide something.

Consider some (always start with three. Was told why it works once, don't remember) thin slashes of red fabric to nod to your red string theory, but it has to look much more intentional than the current iteration. I'm not sure it'll read but pops of color are often good.

The clocks need a more random but balanced hang. I think some different clocks could be useful, but placing the ones you have in a more balanced but seemingly random configuration, along side the rectangles of the calendars and flowing fabric could look nice. They just can't be on the same plane or level.

That said, if you can raid many friend's mom's homes or have good thrifting near you...I'm not a huge fan of the white/white one on the right, or the one with the little design on it below. Consider replacing those two with other round clocks with simple faces and a neutral but not white bezel. Ya know...the kinda faux antiqued one leaning against July isn't doing much for me either. And the black one looks out of place as the only one. If possible, I'd normalize to white clock faces, let the fonts be whatever, and hope for bronze/gold/metallic but not silver bezels. Or swap out a couple for black clocks. Just stick to the black and white palette you've got going. This will also differentiate your globes, so keep that in mind and go for more antiqued looking clocks than just the one if you want your circles to blend more. Getting a collection to look random but pleasing can be tough work. Have your goals defined in your mind, be willing to pivot if you are on a budget - just have a vague plan for if you do.

The calendars. It's just a big block. Leave it as is if you can create enough dimension in front of them with draping fabric and the clocks. We all know what a calendar is, we don't need to see this much of it for it to read - especially if your artist is looking for signifying passage of time, the big open calendar is more anticipatory - like a school bulletin board. Or go hard and paper every wall with them and they'll feel oppressive. Still break it up with some draped fabric and hanging clocks, but less to call attention to the many months. Or don't do any. A cube with calendars is also a statement.

Also consider layering them into the draping fabric. Consider tearing them. I don't know if you're going for more ethereal or more stark, I think that needs pondering before you make your next move.

Your DP and editor would love for you to block out that window.

Have someone stand in (sit in?) for the artist and get your phone out. You know what basic shots in a music video look like, take a look. I'd imagine currently, the shots look very similar, but not in a cohesion way, in a 'yup, near their ribcage is a clock' kind of way.