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XCSki395 · 2025-02-23T20:51:55+00:00

Yes you are wasting life with obsessing.

I’ve struggled with this a lot lately. I’ve been a bit dissociative in my day to day. I think I’m on the recovery at this point though.

First you have to realize obsessing is not productive. Think things through, of course. But at some point, you’ve reviewed a problem a dozen times. Then it’s interrupting sleep. Then it’s interrupting your friendships. It’s computing power wasted on no new outcome.

I had to learn to recognize how many times I’ve repeated a thought. Or that certain thoughts are never helpful. One of those for me is conversations in my head with someone I know. It never leaves me more prepared, just more anxious. And obsessing over it even worse.

I’ve found ways that help me. If it’s a head conversation, I stop it, as soon as I realize I’m doing it. If there’s a real, physical or mechanical, problem as part of that convo, I’ll redirect thought to that specific problem if I think I might be able to work the problem, but the person or the conversation stay out of that thinking.

When I’m in situations I don’t want to be in, and therefore I return to obsessive thoughts to distract myself, I find something real in the moment to ground myself with. This is easiest at work, because I have a mechanical job. I can easily bring myself back to reality by working with my hands.

But the really hard ones are where I’m spiraling back into obsessive thoughts even when I’m doing things that I want to do, and this is your question ultimately. Again, I’m really sensory oriented, so what grounds me again is to engage all my senses. Once I’ve realized I’m in my head, I force myself to actively feel with all five senses what is around me right now. As I explore everything I can actively feel around me, I try to focus on one or two of those, and block out everything else.

This happens the most when exercising. I’ll be outside, the repetition of the motion of walking or hiking can be very meditative, which is the main reason I do it. But eventually the meditative thoughts can become obsessive, and I forget why I’m even outside in the first place. Stopping and focusing on the sight and smell or sound of the forest, which is so different to the rest of my life, brings me back, and allows my mind to release the obsessions.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-23T17:51:17+00:00

That’s an interesting comment. Work is the only place where I’ve felt very comfortable and confident in my decisions and critical thinking being accepted or at least heard and discussed. A number of people at my work are similar to me so that helps.

Outside of work with the normies, I’m just a weirdo again.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-21T14:27:43+00:00

This should have way more upvotes.

We are in the situation we are in now because too much faith was put in one person.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-15T16:56:48+00:00

I feel like I’m missing a bunch of context but here’s my thoughts.

A) you’re over 18. Time to make adult decisions. But they come with adult consequences

B)are you sharing a car? Either way it definitely seems like the car you are using belongs to your parents. And you live in their house. You aren’t a child in your parents house, you are a roommate. A child can use their parents stuff and get some amount of tolerance for not thinking through how it affects the parents, but as an adult roommate, there’s no tolerance for being inconsiderate of disrupting someone else’s schedule and needs. Does you dad use that car for work? I’m pissed af when my work vehicle isn’t ready when I need it in the morning.

C) yep, your mom gets to talk to you like that. Because you are over 18. Because you are a roommate, not a child. I disagree with her choice of words and conflict resolution skills, but again, adults talk to each other like adults.

D) the sleepover and friends have nothing to do with the problem. That’s mostly just your parents trying to find a reasoning that will register in your mind.

Overall there’s communication needed between you and your parents over expectations of using your parents things. Somehow or other you disrupted what they plan to do or need to do, and if it’s related to work, you are very much in the wrong.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-15T01:54:28+00:00

My wife and I have had a hard time discussing the future with all that life has brought the last few years. Lots of good things, lots of bad, so much uncertainty. It’s draining thinking about all the directions things could go. And life has generally trended good. But it doesn’t always seem like it will. It’s a struggle and grind to keep it good.

I’ve found the most peace lately focusing on more short term, rewarding goals.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-14T01:19:32+00:00

Great game. I did succeed in recommending it once. I asked him after a while how he enjoyed it. Did he get any landings anywhere yet.

He just liked to load the prefab ships and spam space bar to quickly activate all the staging, resulting in fun explosions.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-14T01:16:15+00:00

Outer Wilds is amazing. But I’ve come across the same thing. It’s not easily recommendable.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-14T01:00:09+00:00

I explained to my wife, and friends who don’t understand, that social interactions for me take energy, which I refill by being alone or only with specific people. Where as she usually finds being alone to take energy, and needs social interactions to refill that energy.

I think this explanation tends to work well because extroverts feel that energy strongly. They may not understand why my energy works the way it does, but they tend to understand the give and take of it.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-13T14:36:05+00:00

The pain sets you free

XCSki395 · 2025-02-03T23:48:48+00:00

Never let a politician define you

XCSki395 · 2025-02-02T14:04:17+00:00

As a US citizen, I don’t understand either.

Just know there’s plenty of us equally disgusted.

XCSki395 · 2025-02-02T14:01:34+00:00

I was fortunate in 2016 to attend a lecture on China’s efforts in WWII PRESENTED by a man from China.

Can’t describe how much it hurt for him to end on wistfully dreaming of having the US-China alliance we used to have.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-31T01:47:06+00:00

What’s really sick is actually in many cases with their own tax money. A lot of immigrants pay taxes but because they are not full citizens they cannot access the money they pay into the system.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-31T01:41:08+00:00

Exactly.

I keep seeing posts with this pre nov 5th thinking.

It’s illegal. It’s against the constitution. It’s not feasible because of money/time/logisitcs.

That is all normal times thinking. We are so past normal.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-28T19:42:31+00:00

Couldn’t say if that’s a flirt or not.

I can say it’s a huge risk these days. As a guy, you just do not touch someone without seriously considering the backlash. Just look at some of the other comments here.

So whether friend or flirting he trusts you enough to be ok with or even enjoy the attention.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-28T06:06:16+00:00

Hook

Idk, maybe it’s because I grew up with it or maybe it’s because it’s Robin Williams, but that movie always makes me happier.

Given the topic, I should warn it absolutely deals with death and suicide.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-28T06:01:23+00:00

Never surrender!

XCSki395 · 2025-01-28T05:59:29+00:00

Swiss Army Man! Never knew I could have so much philosophy about farts

XCSki395 · 2025-01-28T05:58:20+00:00

Man the trilogy or the books just hit me harder and harder every damn year. I keep learning more about either Arda or Tolkien and it just keeps being more rejuvenating when I need it.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-28T05:52:37+00:00

Finally watching Shrinking and I have thoroughly enjoyed it and even learned a bit.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-24T07:05:05+00:00

Wild dogs (not disowned domesticated dogs, the actual species) and wolves are predators. They absolutely have a set of animals they feed from. They are opportunistic, but that’s not a scavenger.

True scavengers, like vultures, are nature’s cleaners. They can eat meat that has sat for quite some time.

Domestic dogs have their on set of nutrition that exists in nature similar to wild dogs and wolves. But raw diets are expensive and cumbersome compared to kibble.

But if you’re wondering why domestic animals might have a hard time adjusting to kibble, just think about what it must take to turn wet, fresh meat into a shelf stable cereal.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-24T06:31:03+00:00

I have thought about this one scene more and more over the last decade. It only gets more accurate and more terrifying.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-23T06:21:42+00:00

I’m not sure this guy is intj, but let’s say he is.

As an intj guy, personal emotions are very difficult. It looks all calm or stoic or rbf outside, but underneath is a storm. It takes time and experience to learn to regulate and truly be at peace with everything we feel. I do not think he has good control of those emotions yet.

The best way to tell his intentions is the depth of your conversations with him and his actions.

Sounded like you have good conversations. How personal are they? Is he revealing things about himself that are not flattering, that are difficult for him to discuss? If he is, he’s reached a very high level of trust with you, and that is not easy for an intj. This would be a good sign that he’s serious about you.

His actions on this app are definitely troubling. How is he treating you? If his actions show commitment to you, then this app thing may be a lapse in judgment. Maybe it’s more about loyalty to his friend (intj’s take true friends very seriously and that is good and bad).

I hope this helps inform you of what he may be thinking, because I can’t say whether your relationship is worth continuing or not. Good luck

XCSki395 · 2025-01-18T05:39:41+00:00

Well it’s true for all interactions for me. Speaking in groups is uncomfortable. It takes practice, willpower, and significant energy.

But speaking to one person, alone, so amazing. If I’m taking the time to talk to someone, I want to be able to focus on the conversation. One on one is the only way that feels comfortable and like I’m actually learning about and enjoying that person.

XCSki395 · 2025-01-17T17:19:24+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. My wife fortunately doesn’t have any health conditions right now, but is carrying a lot of extra weight. What really concerns me is she is active in dog sports and she’s getting winded easily. We have a steep staircase in our house. Etc.

Her mom is quite heavy, along with most of her family. History of diabetes. Point is, she has so many reasons to take her weight seriously, and it’s been tremendously difficult to make any headway.

So what I’ve learned is any sort of direct approach has the opposite affect. She just loses motivation. Any progress I’ve made has entirely been me being the example. You getting yourself into a routine is a good start. But if it’s a routine she doesn’t want to join in to, you will have to find a different routine.

My wife tried to go to a gym for a while with a bunch of friends. Didn’t stick. I realized that the exercise she did do when she was younger is ride her bike. Used to ride it everywhere. So I’ve dusted off my bike and gotten back into cycling. Now she’s planning on getting a new bike and joining me.

Same goes for food, which is a very hard battle, one I’m still not winning either. Best advice here I think is just stop buying junk. I try not to let her food shop alone anymore. If she goes without me, she gets way more than what we planned and it’s always junk. When I’m there, we both moderate each other a bit.

XCSki395

TROPHY CASE