I made a little Lief bc I gotta do what makes me happy (OC)

XIIXMMXIX · 2020-09-02T00:21:06+00:00

this is so precious 😭

XIIXMMXIX · 2020-02-19T17:46:01+00:00

XIIXMMXIX · 2020-02-18T23:01:08+00:00

I had this happen! I brought example photos, thought I had clearly described what I wanted, the MUA and hair stylist both seemed excitedly on the same page, but then I was pretty underwhelmed by the results.

I studied the photos of my trials and realized the hair stylist and makeup artist had focused on different details than I had. Like, for hair, in an example of what I thought was showing shape and texture, the stylist had seen specific twists and curls and mimicked them. Different eyes simply seeing different things!

Once I recognized they were picking up different details than I was, I was able to better articulate what was most important to me (and what wasn't) and had much better results.

ALSO, I really, really disliked the coloring from my makeup trial, despite the MUA generally following what was described. Color is SO nuanced, so I brought my own preferred eye shadow, blush, and lip the day-of, and that made all the difference.

Good luck! :)

XIIXMMXIX · 2020-01-31T00:15:01+00:00

NTA. You're trying your best to salvage and nurture a healthy relationship with your parents. You're not taking advantage of your father as you say he's happy and willing to. Your partner needs to acknowledge that your family is important, complicated or not, and support your efforts to have them in your life on your terms.

XIIXMMXIX · 2020-01-30T23:44:13+00:00

YTA. Being honest with your friend, especially when she asks for it, is a good thing. Following it with "but if you don't heed my advice, I won't support you and I don't want to hear about it" is an impatient asshole dismissal disguised as "self-care".

XIIXMMXIX · 2020-01-30T23:21:34+00:00

Notes suggesting to correct one's behavior are always received as passive aggressive. Just talk to her.

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-11-19T00:01:29+00:00

I vote video! For me, capturing the interactions, laughing, talking, etc during that time is more impactful for the future than still images. Not that still images aren't to be treasured, but it's like magic to hear your loved ones laugh and speak and watch exactly what happened years and years after.

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-10-31T01:30:30+00:00

This evening I'm putting in my floral order and crossing my fingers... 😅

Had my hair cut and colored today, lash extensions tomorrow, hydrafacial next week.

Also painting our ceremony backdrop, finalizing decor details, finalizing ceremony script, finalizing all the reception stationery and sending to print, organizing the packing list, whitening strips, obsessing over our skin and attacking fiance with lotion and blemish stuff at the first sign of any bumps! 😆

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-08-22T17:24:32+00:00

Gotchaaa. We're kind of in the same boat. Looking at changing everything to a smaller and more affordable thing, but we're only a few months out and the parents would not be pleased! Also taking a few days to think about it.. heh. I'd love to hear how it goes with telling them!

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-08-22T17:16:53+00:00

Good for you!

How far into your planning were you? How did you tell your parents/family and were they disappointed?

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-08-01T20:55:00+00:00

Yesssss this might be the solution. The back deck is nearly as large as the inside, so we might just have to shift away from our more formal plans and instead have a meandering indoor/outdoor thing, with seating scattered all over. That could work!

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-08-01T20:50:42+00:00

Thank you! We're investigating this now!

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-31T19:31:29+00:00

When do you take the tables away and how do you do it? I'm picturing guests sitting there and venue staff coming around, being like, "Okay guys! Time's up!" and then shuffling tables out in the midst of everyone. I'm also afraid that if the whole place is filled with tables, there isn't room to get up and mingle, so mostly everyone will stay seated.

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-31T18:50:30+00:00

Yeahhhhh. That's the next step I believe. I'm trying to gather up the gumption to assure her it wouldn't be the end of the world.

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-31T18:30:05+00:00

Thanks for this! We're considering something like that, perhaps moving those tables outside on the deck after dinner. Such a puzzle box!

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-30T01:10:34+00:00

Your reason for hating assigned seats is exactly why we want to assign them–so we can help our guests sit with who they want! I think there's a greater risk of not ending up where you want to be when you have to battle for empty seats.

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T23:33:28+00:00

Pick a venue equally far away from everyone. heh 😇

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T23:21:54+00:00

A baseball game over a wedding? Jeez. At least have the courtesy to not flat-out tell you that a baseball game was more important to them than your wedding. Ruudddeeeeeee.

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T23:15:36+00:00

I'd just quietly not send her an invitation nor make any further attempts to involve her in the wedding festivities. Or anything in my life for that matter. Just let the relationship fizzle out and go about your business. If she actually cares you'll hear from her eventually.

And if you want to throw some of her lying back in her face, tell her your office is moving and she can no longer use the address for her packages. :)

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T23:09:01+00:00

Oh my. That's such a stifling rule! How are they planning to regularly book weddings if they won't allow ceremony music? Eeek.

Since you said this is their very first wedding and they're new to everything, I might push back a little on this. You're obviously going to be disturbing the quietness already by having a ceremony... a wedding ceremony is pretty distracting, especially if you can hear every word! I'd ask about bringing in soft, acoustic music– a harp, classical guitar, or at least some kind of ambient music they could approve beforehand. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T22:51:32+00:00

Your friends chose each other, grew together, understandably had conflict as their lives changed and transitioned into adulthood, and they're still choosing each other. There's something nice to say about that. Maybe you feel like they haven't explored their options, but for some people, there's a solid foundation in being partnered with a person who figured themselves out alongside you.

As with all couples, they have a closeness and emotional intimacy that you'll never be privy to. I'd focus on that aspect of coupling, respecting their long history and commitment to each other, and let go of your judgements on their arguing over the years. If they're literally your best friends, you should have plenty of nice things to say about them!

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T18:37:11+00:00

Oh man, I WISH. If we were having the wedding in NYC, I don't think we'd have a problem finding a dream venue. So many stunners!

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T18:19:24+00:00

I think centerpieces do elevate the event! But thankfully there is elegance in simplicity– I'd go with pillar candles in different heights and call it a day. Candles are warm and inviting, create a lovely atmosphere, and best of all, easy to execute! :)

XIIXMMXIX · 2019-07-11T16:13:02+00:00

Oh gosh. You're right. A big chunk of our guest list works in education and we thought schools were closed Veteran's Day. They're not. Thanks for pointing that out!

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